Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21198, 26 September 1930, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonßea&e now and then I> relished by the wlaeet men. —Hudlbras.

Toil and trouble Trouble and toil; Is the-case to a T Of a man on the soil. It is stated that the Soviet is selling wheat because it needs money. Quite a good reason, especially when you realize that it is on the way to dough. » » * * There is a grain of sense in the idea, anyway. * * «• » Two railway officials in America settled a dispute with revolvers. Why didn't one discharge the other and fix the matter quietly. * * * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “fuel”: “They say it is cheaper, but fuel believe it.” <• * * * Auckland wants a tax on bachelors. Well, the headquarters of the Single Taxers is there. So the Americans won the Contract Bridge test. It was on the cards that they would. A BORED VICTIM. Some idea of conditions in the Land of Liberty can be gained from this weary advertisement in a St. Louis newspaper: —Highwaymen— Holdup men, please note: this is to notify you that I do not carry on my person the receipts of my various theatres. They are locked in time lock safes and taken to the bank in an armoured car. I am tired of being held up. (Signed) Fred Wehrenberg. Sometimes after seeing a show, I wonder if the managers aren’t in the “hold up” business. * * * * From W.K. Again: It is stated that the number of real Scots is diminishing in the land o’heather, outsiders, notably the Irish, filling their places. This decline in a splendid race is a cause for deep concern—and yet. . . We still may ken richt sturdy clans Wi’ Hielan’ pride and fire imbued, When doon the glen MacSullivans Meet braw O’Tavishes in feud. An’ deathless folksong yet may wring Tears frae the een o’ Ryan Dhu * As tartan-kilted minstrels sing: “Ye bogs and braes o’ Ballyhoo.” **• * * DREAMS. I sometimes ponder, wonder, dream, Of all the things I might have been. A Judge with power and dignity, Would, I am sure, have suited me. Or general in the army grand, The lord and master of the land. Or surgeon with a practice large— Three guineas as my. lowest charge. Or handsome naval captain strong, With gold braid and with service long. Or in an engine-room black, grim, In my fond mind I’m pictured in. But it’s no use to ponder, drcam, Of all the things I might have been. For dreamers in this life, they must, Without exception bite the dust. —By I.M.