SHAUN'S PATCH

Southland Times, Issue 20172, 7 May 1927, Page 13 (Supplement)

SHAUN'S PATCH

Star or Blues, Blues or Star The teams are said to be at par. Blues or Star, Star or Blues, Whichever wins, ’twill be good news. * « « « The Winter Show people are hoping to raise a Carnival Spirit in Invercargill, if there is not too much water with it. NOTED WATERING PLACES. The Puni The Reservoirs A Garden Some Dairies A Glass of Whisky The Oreti Beach Limited Liability Companies The Sad Film A Rain Gauge. * * * * A correspondent has asked me for a name for his secondhand car. I suggest Mrs Often. * * * * Someone has said that the cheeriest optimist is the striking postman in Shanghai who posted a letter. Accommodation is the key to the tourist, problem, we are told. I wonder if it should be more properly called the latch-key. LETTERED VERSES. This I quote from a Boston paper—* The farmer leads no EZ life, The CD grows will rot, And when at EV rests from strife His bones will AK a lot. This has inspired me to add— And just of the TD um The farmer CC all day The OT plants will surely come To oatmeal NE way. * * * * When Cupid’s arrows hit their mark there are Mrs. A BILIOUS SONG. 0 why do you keep swimming round Like wheels before my eyes, Keep both your feet upon the ground, Remain your normal size. The world just like a leopard goe» And revels in his spots, Or like a novel with its rows And rows of little dots. I note you as you stand and speak In rambling words, old fellow, But does the Chinese news this week Make all the world so yellow? Roll on, 0 world, roll on your way, Heed not my mild suggestion That you stand still—all I can say Is: I’ve got indigestion. ♦ * * * People who drive motor cars in beach races must have plenty of sand in them anyway. * ♦ * * MINE OWN PEPYS. SATURDAY, April 30—This morning being most favourable and the conditions beneath the feet so pleasant that I to lie in bed as with a headache, t he whiles I to bemoan the sadness of my lot cast so that when the weather to break I may not to those tasks I had set myself. Reading in the news sheets to learn that at ten of the clock all the Little Southlanders ordered to smile that the sun may appear and this found to be the hour of the sun's entry. To learn later the Rugby Union hath considered the engaging of this band as an aid to its gates, and that the Corporation to ask for tests to see if the crying of the Little Southlanders may provoke rain in the dry season. Later to the Rugby Park for the jousting and the sun most warm so that even in the watching of the combat I to feel the effects, the whiles 1 do marvel that the condition of the teams to stand so well to the tasks. The play ragged even in the Pirates who do take the field this year with a magnificent array on paper so that the scribes already hail them victorious in the tourney; but I to harbour doubts in that in other years there hath bean similar legends and in the end they to see Stars. At the match to speak with Milord Andrew Bain and he to say that though mighty pleased to be free of publick duty he to feel something going out of his life, the which did make it clear that the control of publick affairs like unto wine and forming habits difficult to discard. In the evening to musick and a most* enjoyable time for there to eventuate much argument in the maintenance of the which I to hold mine own despite all opposition. And so to bed in content that this hath been a goodly day and the football season hath begun. MONDAY, May 2—-Wakened early this day by my daughter who to declare she hath heard strange sounds in the air as if there do be corks drawn. To assure her this do be the huntsmen pursuing the wild duck, and she most unfortunate in that her father’s bulk to make the chase of the duck unwise to say nought of the uncertainty of his aim with the blunderbus. Later to the city and there to meet with one who with a great caution speaketh of the modern development in cabaret dancing, the manner of it that there hath been introduced earnest discourses on most weighty subjects and the liquor question for the nounce on the agenda. This of much import that there be talk of a new cabaret in which greater freedom for these discussions may be gained. Also that the motor garage people do look with favour on the new

practice of holding motor gatherings in Esk Street, in that they do assist in the maintenance of the repair departments, especially where there do be skilled drivers with a preference for the footpaths. All these things related behind the back of a hand, and we to rejoice that the season hath a beginning with such excitement in it, so that of the finish no man may know. TUESDAY, May 3 —Lay late this day and to puzzle mightily on a communication received through his Majesty’s mails the which to inform me it were well I do prepare to meet with my judge, but naught said of the whereabouts of the court nor of any correspondence course through the which I may train myself for the ordeal. Later to open another bulky envelope and this asking me if I do be so prepared, but suffering so mightily from a bilious headache I not to care whether I do or do not be prepared, but to welcome anything that may keep the world still and change its saffron robes. To the city and there to meet with a citizen who speaketh so briskly that I do feel agrieved, but on my asking lhe explanation of his pleasure, he to say his son, aged four years, did return to the family on Sunday saying he hath learned a new hymn, and the name of it “Onward, Kruschen Soldiers.” This to bring a sadness into my heart in that I do feel so unkruschenly this day, and eke that there is here a hint of commercialism in the hymns. In the street to meet wdth my fellow townsman Percy Meek, and unwittingly to declare I am pumped dry, whereas he to so arrange and settle the water question that 1 am late for mine appointment and no excuse accepted. This to reveal to me the need for caution in the choice of words. WEDNESDAY, May 4 Up betimes and the day to begin badly in that on my way to my bath I to walk unwarily and stepping on some soap to adopt with more speed a recumbent, attitude, but fortunately the noise thereof not to reach my family who do inspect the out-of-doors of mine estate, so that I am able to maintain my dignity. On emerging, however, to meet with Mrs Shaun and she straight way to ask me if I do be smitten with the lumbago. At this to raise myself to an erect stance and to say merely I am bowed down by grief at the carelessness of my family in that they do litter the floors most thoughtlessly. Whereat she to bid my daughter put her dolls away. Later to remark that while in the garden she to hear distant thunder though the skies free of all hint of storm. To eye the woman carefully and Io mention mayhap ’twas a large body falling next door, but she to answer nothing but that certainly ’twas not next door. This to leave me in great uncertainty and no evidence that she hath or hath not more knowledge than she would betray. To a play house that I may see a special screen of a film yclept “The Wooing of Barbara Worth” with much pretty lighting on the sands of a desert and in the general sense a fine thing. At night to see Wallace Beery and one Hatton in “We're in the Navy Now,” and to laugh so much that my indigestion to vanish and health in me once more. THURSDAY, May s—Rising this day to read of the final words of Milord Bain and they thoroughly characteristic of a man who hath lead in public affairs these forty years or more and he at last our chief alderman, strong in all things and above all things a man of probity, so that I do mourn his retirement. He a great loss but his example such as to do good for our future rulers, though I do hope there may l>e taken the opportunity for a more ceremonious farewell in the which all may join to do him the honour he so much deserves. I to grieve that there be left only two strong men in our midst now, the Chief and one other whom modesty prevents me naming. My spouse on glancing over my shoulder to note this and straightway to say she hath learnt for the first lime that I do not know how to spell the word conceit, a most shrewish remark that did leave me decided that I will assuredly close my accompts when next she do speak of habilments and likewise to lock away in my safe my money box. To learn this day there do be a competition arranged in the coming carnival for Pets, and to resolve 1 will enter my lawn-mower in this contest, and of a certainty the prize will be mine, though Mrs Shaun to remark I do oft times neglect my pets unduly. FRIDAY, May 6—This day lay late in that the sun do shine mightily and the ways in my garden unsafe. To my dentist and he most talkative while discovering another cavity and talking to bore me persistently with his implements. And so to the street as soon as may be. There to meet with one who sayeth a little while since a most important firm do be deprived of its Mackintosh, but that now its position be much worse in that it be left without a Bob, which in these times a serious matter. This quite a goodly quip and I to regret I did not myself think of it. At night to the Orphans and such a night as never before with gaiety and the Magistrate in such form as to raise him in my esteem past the high point he doth normally occupy as a humorist. And afterwards to my cot in good temper and looking forward on the morrow to the joust between Star and Blues at Rugby Park, and the night filled with the prayers of the teams against their clashing, so that I do verily believe life be worth the living thereof.