The Improving Influence of Marriage.

Southland Times, Issue 19036, 2 May 1903, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Improving Influence of Marriage.

Talcing the world all round, one feels inclined to believe it docs. Look round upon the circle of your own acquaintances, and in how many cases will you not sec that the married ara improved tenfold. You doubtless remember your brother's particular friend, Jones, in his bachelor days? Well, lie w.isan ordinary man enough — somewhat selli^li. as a bachelor is npt to be ; sorncwhafc slipshod an. l careless in his ways ; n little nurose, probably from having lived so much alone ; rather ill-temp?;-";!, doginnti<\ and disagreeable. lie has Liken to himself a wife some few years back, and you have seen nothing of him since. One day you meet unexpectedly, perhau* at ft dance. Can this be Jones ? You stand amazed to discover that he is alert, active, and responsible, that he thinks of other people as well as of himself, that he is neat, punctual and particular in his habits, that he can stand contradiction without snapping your head oil, and that he is altogether a transformed and reformed man. Or t;ike the case of little Miss Smith. You used to meet her at tennis parties, ov on the river. You thought her a rather featherheaded, foolish little girl, with a tendency to flirting, and you found in her a peevishness and a- sentimentality which served to counterbalance her youthful prettiness, in your judgment. Perhaps you didn't go as far as some of your companions, and pronounce her a horrid girl ; but you certainly didn't feel inclined to congratulate Drown unduly when you heard of the engagement, or feel that you:- congnitulauons to him need be of an overwhelming nature. You met her again ■ vhon on .your holidays last year. She had >;-an Mrs. B.own lo;v< enongh now to make act' start and laugh ami blush when you make a stupid mistake in the surprise of seeing her, and call her Miss Smith us you used to do. You wondered why you had ever thought her anything but delightful. She is sympathetic and gentle, and so patient with Brown, who is an annoying kind of person, that you can only marvel at her tre:it:ujnt of him. She is devoted to him, it seems, and has no desire for anyone's society but his — she is a pattern wife and mother. You remember, with an odd kind- of wonder, that you onco regarded Brown sis an ofejeci oj oompasiiou rather than of oflvy ; you can't think why you were so dense, out, us a matter of fact, it is marriage that his wrought the change. Miss Smith might have retained her faults to the end of the chapter, and Jones would have been Jones st. 11. It is the power that matrimony has of iuubing down corners, and softening angles* of making people bear and forbaar, of teaching p.vticnce, and consideration, and carefulness. It is this thai has changed the disposition and character, and made of them both far nicer members of society than they would otherwise have beeu. But does marriage always improve people ? It may be taken as a general rule that it doer. There must be exceptions to all rules, and where pcoplo many from other reasons than the right one, they have no claims to bo surprised if the elTect is not beneficial, bud the reverse. If Miss Smith had married Brown for his money, she would probably have grown selfish, cold, and self-absorbed ; she would have become more peevish and move given to desire the attentions of other men. If Jones had not loved the girl he married, she would never have been able to influence him for good ; she could not have cured his faults srad improved his temper, and ' made him an ornament to his sex, instead of altogether the reverse. Marriage, where there is love, is one of the most potent factors of improvement in the world. Where love is not, it is very apt to deteriorate people, instead of making them better. So, be warned, all yon who are about 10 marry. The step you meditate may be either for your benefit, or for your harm. When you see married people who are not as nice as they were before marriage, you may bo pretty sure of one thing — they married from some other reason than because they loved each other. If love nad been there, the new relation could not have failed to bring about the improvement ifc ought to make.