Dancing.

Southland Times, Issue 14788, 3 November 1900, Page 1 (Supplement)

Dancing.

The Innocent: What makes people give dances? The Cynic : They cannot help themselves. It U an epidemio disease whioh makes periodical appearances. One startß it, and the rest follow. The Innocent : Why do people go to them? The Cynic : That they may be seen by other people. The Innocent : What is their objeob ? The Cynio : The women to display tbem■elvea or their daughters in the matrimonial mart to the greatest possible advantage. The men in order that people may say to them, 'Let me see, didn't I see you at the Duohesa's dance?' or 'What a fellow yon are! You go everywhere.' ' The Innocent : Do they all have these motives ? The Cynic : No ; the very young go in pursuit of the ideal. The Innocent : What is the ideal ? The Cynic : A perfect) floo-, a perfeot band, plenty of space, and a perfect part* net*. The Innocent : Are these conditions ever fulfilled ? The Cynic : Rarely, if ever. The Innocent : Is dancing a healthy form of exercise ? The Cynic : Under the conditions which I have described it is one of the healthiest and least fatiguing of all exercises. The Innocent : You recommend it, then ? The Cynic : Ido not, because it is generally carried on in crowded rooms heated to suffocation or exposed to draughts. The Innocent : Whioh is the best season for dancing ? The Cynic : Obvioasly the autumn or the winter, which is the reason why fashionable ■ooiety has selected the summer. The lanooent : What do people wear at dances? The Cynic : Men, evening dress ; womer>, as little as possible. The Innocent : Is it because dancing makes them feel heated ? . The Cynic : No; it is simply bcciuse]it is the fashion. The Innocent : What i» the Barn Door ? The Cynio: An exhibition of awkwardness. The Innocent : Are Linoers danced now ? The Cynic : No; they are romped. The Inncoent : What is the 'Washington Post' like ? The Cynio : A step-dance gone wrong. The Innocent : What do they give you for ■upper Ut a dance ? The Cynio: Oyster pattie?, whioh are open to suspicion, and still more doubtful lobster salad. The Innocent: What does one drink at dances? The Cynio : Whiskey and soda, if one can get it. The Innocent : Don't they generally give champagne ? The Cynio : Yes, of an nnknown brand, whioh you have never Been before and will never see again. The Innocent : Is smoking allowed ? The Cynio : Not as a rule, but it is endared. The Innocent : Where can one smoke 7 The Cynic t In any room which three or four men have taken possession of. The Innocent : What does your hoste i sjay to this ? The Cynio : What she says won't bear repetition.