A Theosophistical Cabinet Meeting

Southland Times, Issue 133357, 20 January 1896, Page 3

A Theosophistical Cabinet Meeting

Our great foundress, Helena Petrovna Blavntsky (says the EveniDg Post's own Mahatma), projected me an occult missive through an invisible post, which stated that there would be something worth listening to in the Cabinet room on Wednesday night ; s>, wrapping up my form in the invisible veil of Jsis, which gives the power of listening unseen to what is going 00, I accordingly attended, and found the remains of the Cabin' t laying their heads together in earnest deliberation. The Chris i church election was the subject, and R. J.S. Avaa in very deadly earnest, and said — 'You see, I've told you all along that it would never do to let K s go home, much as we would like to shake him off. We can't win the seat with a Government candidate, or a Labour one either. What was Itodo ? The liquor party is always ready to shed its last pewter of beer for me, but the Christchurch brewers haven't, the pull onthe votes the Auckland ones have. I tried the other tack, and thought Scott would b<s a good line, as we bad claims on him, and he had been a witness on the prohibition side over Coker's Hotel. But Bcott would not nibble. Then Lough rey seemed to be a trump card, and Plain Bill and 1 offered to pay his election expenses, but he was willing to let us pay, but wouldn't promise to vote solid. We tried Beswick, and the Lord knows who else, and had to come back to Scott at last. M'K. — But he retrenched a day's pay each week at the Addington workshops for five months while he was Commissioner. That I will put his nose out of joint. W d. — Before polling day I will address the Christchurch people. A man who can bamboozle the London Chamber ot Commerce and the Bank of Eogland will make easy woVk of twisting that constituency round his little finger. R s. — Don't you hold them too cheap, Joseph ; the res angusta domi is prevalent there. But I forget, you fellows are not classical, me judice. R. J.S. — Can't you give your French a rest till you get out of this 1 R s. — Well, you'll find yourselves precious hard up for someone to put your ideas into decent Knglish for you when I'm clear of you, and mind you don't forget it. I've had to sub-edit all your atrocious vernacular, and my own muse has been sadly strained. M'K. — Tr3 r some embrocation; it's a grand hing for strains. R. J.S. — As for our Hioglish, I've arranged for that, and have put a State Historian on the job, and I have it from himself that he is a capable literary man. R a.— Who is he ? R.J.S. — You ought to know him; he ran a paper in Christchurch once in the interests of society. R s. — Great Scott ! Is it — is it — is it so ? R.J.S. — 'Tis so ; a man of a judicial mind, who wrote of me as a great statesman; and the history of the Uriwera expedition did not lay the colour on half thick enough. This man will make me a Napoleon, a Gladstone, and a Seddon all rolled into one. R s.— All right. I'll be out of the trouble you are making for yourself. Why, the very idea of such an appointment, if known in Christchurch, would lose every seat for us. R.J.S. —Can't help it. The Opposition have all the good writers. We have to take what we can get. W d. — But I claim to write the ablcs financial papers, with the assistance of th c Under-Secretaries. Look at our great sue. cess before I left for England. "You will be quite right in saying that we have not borrowed." I told Dunedin that, and Dunedin believed me. R.J.S. — Oh, dry up; what with your fairy tales and banks and frozen meat rings you've brought vis to grief. \V d. — Don't blame me ; you were always wanting money for sludge channels and Uriwera trips and books, and that Highland cormorant everlastingly holding his paw out for cash to buy Pomahakas, and Blind Rivers, and other rubbish — ' M'K. —Ye dandy jackanapes, ye ! Wbaur's a pickle bottle ; give me yon ink- i stand. W d. — Hold him; let me get out. R s. — Murder ! fire ! thieves ! Here the meeting adjourned sine die.