Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Southland Times, Issue 12328, 22 September 1892, Page 4

JpONUNDRUMS WHOLESALE : In reply toour advertisement " Kangaroo," ■who nnlen he is uncommonly active could toot keep pace with his own conundrums, ftendfl tui the following. He little thinks we kave over 3000 already, or he would donbt--Imb have tpared us the threat to send along Mother batch. If our readers want to know Who are the. punsters, riddle makers, acrostio Compilers, and puzzle inventors of New Zealand, let them offer a prize, as we have done, and if they have the same luck nothiug -• oat suicide or the madhouse will save them. • Doctors, clergymen, lawyers, officers of the ! fleet, ladies under and over 17 (or 70 for that I jinatter), children in their teens and out of j them ; white, black, bond, and free will all ■ contribute their quota, at least we have contributions from them all ; and yet in the i majority of cases they have missed the j cardinal condition of our offer, which was that the Waterbury watch should be the theme, and not a conundrum on a watch, kith Waterbury added, but really unattached ! We have had riddles turned out en the co-operative principle, the outcome Of evening parties, Bible classes, or tother meetings of the sexes. Others have been evolved over the dinner tables of our hotels, in friendly rivalry amongst the guests. Some are sent in carefully enveloped in perfumed wrappers, with monogram and mm dt plum* all aufait. Others are juvenile, badly spelt, and penned in honest round hand between set pencil lines. A few are illegible as a whole or in part, and harder to "climb" than a monkey's puzzle. But none forget to add the address where the Golden Waterbory is to be sent, and by the Strangest of coincidences there is no ambiguity or anintelligibilitjf about that part of the epistle. Oh, no, that is all right. One Or two have brought theirs round, and after commending their efforts to our kind consideration have suggested an adjournment to Wains, or have "winked the other eve." We^remained of course immaculate ; the best proof of this being that "the prizes have not yet been awarded. Some contributors suggested that "Civis" should be the judge ! Now we should like to know who " Civis "is ? Are almost certain that he is a contributor,and that this suggestion came from him. Shouldn't wonder. Happy thought ; can't trust "Civis." Must set some other humorist, possibly Miss Morrison or H. S. Fish. i However, we have digressed, and now give way to Kangaroo : — 1. Why is the old series Waterbury like a kangaroo? — Answer : Because it possesses a tremendous spring. •» 2. Why is the sale of the Waterbury AVatch like a kangaroo ?— Answer : Because it progresses by leaps and bounds. • 3. Why are the Waterbury agents like a kangaroo? — Answer: Because they never get their tails between their legs. 4. Why is the Waterbury Watch like the Ann ? — Answer : Because you can depend jppon it being up to time. ' 6. What is the difference between the fWaterbury Watch and most of our goldmining companies ? ' Answer : The one is wound up, started, goes till it runs down, and you have a capital Bjratch ; the other is started, you have to Sjratch your capital going till it runs down, And then — it's wound up. You know. Agent Waterbury Watch Uo. I put the " cons. " first, because I reckon that s the place they should occupy in your list of prizes. I reckon, like the baby, they can't be beat. So kindly send on the " ticker "at your earliest convenience. If these don't take the cake (watch, I mean) just say so. I have a few more by me, and can trot them out to suit ; in fact, I coul do em by contract. "Barkis is williu'," so just{say the word and oblige " Kangaroo. Public Notices THK SOUTH NEW ZKA.LA.ND PINA.NCK LOAJT, BUILDING, At D AQKNOY COMPANY. LTD. This Company is prepared to restive applications for loans. Applications on the monthly Orquarterly repaj merit principle, either wholly or in part will have preference. Money ad aocodonany security if Bnmaient, D3BBNTURE3. Debentures issued for fixed periods or at call at highest current rates. Gi'OBGB TBEW. e7 Manager. BROAD, SMALL & CO. Beg to draw attention to the foliowiDg Specialities: — " ORB " G.C. IRON (Best in the market.) BUILDING MATERIALS OF EVERY DESCRIPTION OF VERY BEST QUALITY. %ST Try Our Prices before purchasing: elsewhere. DOORS AND SASHES AT MANUFACTURERS RATES. KNIGHT B&VA2TS CEMSNT SOLE AGENTS FOR THE Auckland Stoneware Drain Pipes. Far superior in quality to all others, and epually low ia price. Shaddock and Zealandia Ranges In stock. A FEW HUNT'S CHAFFCUTTERS LEFT, AT REDUCED PRICES, to clear the season's consignment. Hunt's Giain and Seed Winnowing Ma: lino. IBON AND STEEL WIRE BARBED WJRB BABBIT NETTING SHEEP NETTING BLUESTONE Horticultural Implements for tbe »prin« season HEDGE KNIVES, RLASHEES, AND BUSH TOOLS. PAPERHANGI^Gr. Oar Block is ejected with great care from the leading manufacturers, and new fchipaent* continually arriving to replace ga es BROAD, SMALL & CO., D*E AND TYNB BTBEKTB, ISYBBOABQIU.