Maccabian

Southland Times, Issue 7018, 5 January 1885, Page 4

Maccabian

Sajs a San Francisco journalist, who lately visited England :— Have you je^er> heard the f tray Englishman in this country make an after-dinner speech ? "Well/ I heard many such efforts; over the other side. But in cbso the bliss of listening to itimV' under the smoke-wreaths of a Havana, when^ the toasts are replied to, I will give you an idea of what his speech dislike •: He rises, with a little cough, qrTtickling, in the throat, which affects hiiny pulls af his waistcoat, or shakes each leg to get his trousers clci^nv lotjks at his j>lateyVperhaps takes . i .a A - I feW: r ..,.drops lV of' ; -^ater; to , commence Bwimmingly with, starts in with : 'I iisej gentlemen '—then gives a little '^dngfi, ot something^ that sounds like X'hemT— ahem'— pauses, and goes on: I may say, gentlemen, — that is I may be allowed to observe, --to remark,— rather as remarkably expressive of,— to observe, I would say, as remarkably expressive of feelings on ihis remarkably interesting occa-^-on the present occasion— is, gentlemen — that I. consider this I'm sure I need not —indeed I may say-^— and I may say it without hesitation— (pause) — that this is the proudest moment of my life — (pause), For— -as the fabled bird of Poetry, the phoenix, derives new vitality -Htf t may be allowed the expression — an expired and extinct— distinct — no — I may say extinct existence, so does the —the— the— the (pause) calm serenity of; age emanate from the transitory { (ebngb) turbulence of youth (pause). ' Indeed— gentlemen, if I may be allowed the expression; indeed I may say on the present occasion, that this is a most ?^^nt^resj^rig mOinentj and my feelings -caiu*be better conceived or indeed I ''may -s ay imagined, rather than — (pause) little cough) — .] idepicted--and so I will, if I may be fallowed to say it— -sit down.' Now, : Mr Editor, this is, without exaggeration, fa fair sample of the after-dinner rsV^echesjpf seven out of ten strolling Britons, * You want somebody who -has^heard them to read you the foregoing aloud, with coughs aud peculiar "expressions at the.rjght places, especially on the word ' may/