HOMESPUN'S YARN.

Southland Times, Volume I, Issue 5, 25 November 1862, Page 3

HOMESPUN'S YARN.

To the Editor of the Invercargill Times

Sir, it -was with mingled feelings of pain and pleasure that I read Homespun's yarn in your contemporary's is>ue of this date — pain, that a writer of such singular elegance, logical precision, briliancy oi wit, and purity of diction, should have so misconstrued me, as to imagine that I was not as blindly devoted an admirer of my great leader, that eminent political economist Mr. Wilson, as himself — pleasure, to see him castigate that atiocious speculators', friend, Mr. Peaison. To the uninitiated it might have appeared that Mr. Pearson at the meeting was arguing against the speculator, inasmuch, as he contended that the land in the vicinity of the town, most of which is held by non-im-provers, and is being let at a high figure, ought to pay in a general proportion than the holder of an eighty acre section in block 12 — Homespun knows better. Agnin; a stranger might have a little difficulty in ascertaining who were the improvers and who the non-improvers, learning that for miles round the town all the land was sold ; th^,t thousands of acres in the province' had been purchased, and for years ; and tha.fr yet there was not sufficient produce grown to supply the demand of one town — no hay. oats, wheat; that the supply of chese, butter, eggs, poultry, vegetables, was meagre even in summer, in winter nil. Homespun knows ; though like my august leader, Mr. Wilson, he keeps it to himself.

The-brilliai.t wit, too, with which he dismisses Mr. Pearson's arguments at the meeting is gratifying that little "steaks and chops" is inimitable: the piice of steaks and cnops being a shilling a pound ; and the annual value to let assessment a shilling in the pound^ perhaps Mr. P. in the hurry of the moment said one instead of the other, 1 cau't say : Homespun knows.

Homespun says, Mr. Pearson was correct in arguing, that " contiguity to market made land more valuable and profitable, and therefore ought to measure its rateable value as compared with land- at a distance:" this would appear to be the basis on which the whole argument rests, and applicable, not only to the lands in the vicinity of Invercargill, but to lands abutting on every inland town, every main road, in fact, every where throughout the country; thus residents on the south side of Long-bush are in a better position than those on the noi th side, inasmuch, as they front a main line of road made by the Government. Again, land adjoining the Halfway-bush is more valuable than at the north end of block 12 — fiist, because it is nearer a main road, secondly, because it is nearer a village reserve, which, it is to be hoped, will become an inland town someday: if ihe principle hold 3 good in one district, surely it must in all — I dont know — Homespun does.

So much for Mr. P. Now, sir, in justice to myself — in justice to my august leader, Mr. W., I must try to disabuse Homespun's mind of the impression that 1 sought to ridicule the meeting, and throw discredit on the acreage rate. Passing that brilliantly witty and polished cornparUon to his Satanic luijesty, not to mention the "I- soy. tfill," and " Why, yes, Jim" dialogue, I really don't see that my letter of the 19th instant shows 1 was "highly incensed at tho result of the AntiUoads Ordinance meeting;" and as to being '• deeply grieved that Mr. Pearson could not convince the audience." I distinctly said it was like hia impudence to attempt it. In fact, I said I was much pleased and instructed j if I sail that the meeting interrupted Mr. Pearson with cries of •' Sit down," "Shut up," &c, 1 said merely what the reporters oi the newspapers said, — indeed the chairman had to interfere once, and my august leader, Mr. Wilson, hid to requcs* the meeting to allow Mr P. a bearing to get out of his difficulties, and well he migin, w ien Mr P. was arguing against such a DemusUienes. I know be was requested to " come outside and have it out," for I heard the remark: if "shut up," "sit down," hissing, and come outsides, &c, were intended as encouragement to proceed, Mr P. had certainly no cause to complain. But, I don't know ; Homespun does. Utterly disowning any connection with " tax fair those that bear" (for Homespun evidently does not like him), 1 must say I did not gather from his letter that he charged the Town Board with adopting "a policy which prematurely forces on improvement; it struck me that he argued on the basis that the rich should pay most, the poor least, or that the burden should be apportioned to the back to bear it, — such is the principle coming into fashion with rather eminent men at home; nor can I see that Homespun's altering the chessmen alters the principle. It was not, I presume, because Bill when in the flesh happened to be lame, became prematurely immortal, and left an amiable widow and five children, that she was not to be taxed; or that Joe Smith was rich, lived in California, and by consequence ought to be ; but it was because Joseph had a section in the main street, from the rent bf which, owing to its position, he derived a considerable income, while lame William's relict had one in the bush, which from its position precludes her obtaining any income from it; thus she could not afford to pay lUa per annum as well as Joseph, getting L2OO a-year rent, could LlO a-year. Change the pieces and the result is the same as regards tho tax, though very different as regards the individuals: the widow gets L2OO a ? year and gladly pays L 10; Joseph gets ; nothing; and; consequonily can't afford to payjlOs. * Thg a^ument does not hinge on ■whether Joe Smith is neb, and barixtg money can afford to play a losing ganie ;

moreover^ -if he loses by all his speculations, Joe will_sopn be poor. As a general rule, I have found that tbe Joe Smiths of this world get hold of all the 'front sections; which sell Wgh> and the lame Bills' widows the back ones, which sell low} sq if Homespun's object is to tax the bloated speculator, Tax Fair,- etc., helps him. Such w«s my impres* sion on reading the letter, but if Homespun does not think it the correct one, why 1 will alter my opinion, for IT MUST be right. But, sir, there is one thing I cannot readily excuse Homespun for — his doubt as to my veneration for, and allegiance to, my august leader, Mr Wilson. Tbis i 9 too much ; to prove it I will mention what I would otherwise not have done, r, i episode of that memorable evening, when liie Anti-Roads' Ordinance meeting took place. When I came out an acquaintance accompanied me ; as soon as we were in the open air he asked me whethtr I bad heard that tbe ancient Egyptian prac- j tised mystic symbolical rights in their temples? 1 asked why. He then, in a mocking voice, repeated tho following, prefacing it by saying a young philosopher went into a temple — ' He saw a brisk blue-bottle fly on an altar, Made much of and worship'd as something divine; While a large handsome bullock, led there in a haltei, Before it lay stabb'd at the foot of the shrine. Surprised at such doings, he whisper'd his teacher — 'If 'tisn't impertinent, may I ask why Should a bullock, that useful and powerful creature Be thus offered up to a blue-bottle fly ? ' 'No wonder,' said t'other, 'you staro at the sight, But we as a mark of Democracy view it, That fly on the shrine, is Democracy's right, And that bullock the people that's sacrificed to it.' Fir, you may guess my indignation. What ! call "my Delphic Oracle— my sucking Jupiter, a nasty blue-bottle fly ! A thing that goes buzzing aboutall noisp, nothing in it — that spoils and putrifies everything it touches. I did not condescend to argue the matter ; no I imitated the tactics of my nugust leader, Mr. Wilson, I only looked my indignation—the night being dark, my disagreeable acqua'ntance possibly did Dot fee the look, if h e had, I fancy it wuuld have destroyed his peace o^ mind for a day or two. I teed hardly add, 1 have cut bis acquaintance. Now to a more agreeable theme. My august 1 nder. Mr. Wilson, in his letter of the 20th inst. very properly scouts the idea of the prosperity of Southland being the result of the present government. Did not Mr. W. argue against separation? and is not this prosperity the truits ? Has be not by his presence in the Council, given as it were, an odour of respectability and weight to its decisions ? not men ly in tbe Provinces, but in Australia, I may say Europe ! For, what corner of creation does not his Ciceronian eloquence reach? I think, sir, that letter of his will be a clincher, and ought to make the present government " hide its diminished head." I will conclude, sir, by quoting tho magnificent exordium of my august leader, in the letter above referred to: — " But some proud strutting bipedsof officialdom begin to clap their wings and crow defiance." Sir, I ask you is there a sentence like this in tbe English language ? Bulwer is considered one of the most classical writers of the present age ; can you find anything like this in liulwer? Macaulay's histoi-y of England is spoken of as a model in point of elegance and style; I ask you confidently, can you find anything in Macaulay like this? JN'o sir ; the only approach to it, is in a speech of an American Senator, one of the opposition, who, lising in the flouse, stigmatised one member of the government as a " catawnrcpus alligator, snapping his gory jiiws on ministerial benches" — and another, ''asa transpontine bo*s, rearing bis ungainly form in official dens." In epigramatic wit, originality of thought, brilliancy of expression, my august leader far surpasses it; it has been said of Milton's Paradise Lost.that so long as the ICnglish language was n language, it would be read and esteemed; bo will it be with this remarkable sentence of Mr. Wilson's. Xo, no sir, there is only one wbats-his-name, and thing urn-bob, is his what-do-you-muy call him .So with all due submission to Homespun, I must. * still aay, viva Monsieur Veil-son. Yours &c.' An Out-and-out- Wilsoktte.