HERE AND THERE.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 3790, 30 May 1885, Page 2

HERE AND THERE.

Well I as an . example of downright dog-in-the-mangerishness and departmental humbug, the episode of the Ocean Hanger, lying alongside the wharf unable to discharge,—would be very difficult to tnatoh.. The Harbor Board yesterday finally offered the Hailway Department to man the crane, work her, find fuel &c-, and take all risk of unloading into the trucks, for fourpence per ton, thus leaving the Hailway 2d per ton and no risk. Yesterday morning the offer was refused and the vessel must therefore lie alongside till the railway people choose to attend to her. Things like this are very damaging to the reputation of the port—for just imagine what the skipper of that vessel will say about Timaru when anybody asks him a question ?

That Waterworks Inspector secs behind the scenes now and then. But he never saw a more amusing spectacle than that of the milkman filling his cans three parts full with Pareora water. We feel deeply for that discovered dairyman. He dare not utter so much as a groan, for that would at once reveal his identity. We pity him more than his customers, who, after all, have no great reason to complain, for the Pareora water has been found to contain very innocuous ingredients.

The correction of one’s wife should be conducted in a systematic manner. No donbt our other selves need an occasional stimulus, but as a rule we should not advise its being administered with anything stronger than a throe foot poker. A couple of hearty whseks on the head and a dozen or two on the body would seem to be almost enough at a time. Knivos, pieces of quartering, iron-rimmed boots, fists, &c., sometimes leave conspicuous marks behind them, and these magistrates and other unpractical people are apt to ignore a gentleman’s feelings and to octually brand him as a criminal when be merely intended to remove bis wife.

The women of the Gospel Temperance Mission in Christchurch, have resolved, we are informed, to “ take vigorous action,"—that is to say they will make a house to bouse canvass and hold public meetings, and pray in front of the pubs. Let as be thankful that we are one hundred miles away from the scene of these “goings-on." It sends a cold shudder down our spinal cord to picture emancipated women. The ten plagues of Egypt repeated would be nothing compared with Aggressive women.

It is commonly said that no mao can withstand a pretty tearful pleading woman. Well, we think be must be either more or less than man if be does. When a woman in distress looks at you oculit suffuaia, all your philosophy and determination evaporate and you fall limp and compliant. That is woman’s line, if she wants to succeed. But she must work individually. A detachment of weeping women would hardly effect iho puipose and we fear the publicans and their clients would not melt.' But when a drove of the tall, the gaunt, the raw-boned, skimpy - haired, angular women begin to go from house to house proclaiming the gospel of temperance, or praying and singing in front of the bar doors (as they mean to do in Christchurch) we should say life would bo hardly worth living for the average man.

At the local option poll taken yesterday at Timaro, one vote was recorded in favor of an increase of licenses, and eleven against! Was "there ever snch a farce ?