AMERICAN SURF-BATHING.

South Canterbury Times, Issue 2453, 28 January 1881, Page 3

AMERICAN SURF-BATHING.

“ Now, my dear,” said Mr Spoopendyke as he stepped out of his bathinghouse and thumped, on the door of the one occupied by Mrs Spoopendyke, “ are you ready ? We must hurry into the water and out again, or we shan’t get through in time for dinner. Mrs Spoopendyke emerged, but almost double, and shivering with,the cold. “Isn’t it rather chilly?” she asked. Not at all, Mrs Spoopendyke, not at all; the air is rather cool, but the water is warm. If you are going with me, you want to move along.” As they reached the beach, Mr Spoopendyke left his wife and boldly strode into the surf. A wave broke over him, filling his eyes nose, ears and mouth, and then he strode out. “ What’re ye standing there for, eh ?” he demanded. “ What do you take yourself for—a lighthouse ? Did ye come down here to take a bath, or are ye waiting for some ship to tie up to you ? What’s the matter with you any way?” “lam afraid of the waves,” whimpered Mrs Spoopendyke, “ they’re so big.” “ Oh, they’re too big for you, ain’t they?” retorted Mr Spoopendyke. “Wait till I get a man to saw off a little one. Better get measured for one to suit hadn’t you ? It’s the big waves you want I tell you. Look here!” —and Mr Spoopendyke marched boldly into the sea again.. He turned his' face towards the shore and beckoned to his wife. Another wave got him and rolled him over, pumped itself into his interior, drew him under, whirled him around, and finally deposited him ho wling pa the sand. “Got most

ready to got in ?” he jerked out, he climbed up and assumed the perpendicular. ; “ Think I’m going to slam around here all day, like a waterspout, waiting for 3 - ou ? What did you come here for ? Find any fun in standing there like a soda water sign ? Why don't you get in the water if you’re going to ? Come on now.” lam afraid,” whimpered Mra Spoopendyke. “Ifl go in I know I shall be drowned.” “ No, you won’t ge: drowned either. Can’t you hold on to me ? What did you put on that elegant costume fur if you meant to get drowned ? What are you doing around here ? Now when I get in again you come along or else you go home.” Mr Spoopendyke plunged into the surf,but,as he came up, he missed the rope. For a second or two he sprawled around, and then began to yell. Mrs Spoopendyke eyed him for a moment, and then her fear for him overcame her fears for herself, and, with a yell, she dashed in and hauled him out by the hair. “ She root the water?” choked Mr Spoopendyke. “ I’m full of the measly stuff. So ye got in, did ye ? Let go my hair, will ye ? Let go I tell ye! What d’ye think you are, any way—a steam barber’s shop ? Going to let go that hair some lime ?" But, frightened out of all reason, Mrs Spoopendyke clung still and hauled Mr Spoopendyke to his bathing-house. “Oh, if I hadn’t saved you !” she sobbed. “Oh, yes, you saved me, didn’t you ?” sneered Mr Spoopendyke. “ All you want is four air-tight compartments and two sets of thole pins to be a patent life-raft. Are you going to let go of that hair ?” And as she released him they went to their separate apartments.