ILLEGIBLE HANDWRITING

Rodney and Otamatea Times, Waitemata and Kaipara Gazette, 25 September 1912, Page 7

ILLEGIBLE HANDWRITING

Of all the illegible writers none was more famous in America, of course, than Horace Greeley, of whom one Compositor said onoe, "If Belshazzar had seen this writing on the wall he would have been more terrified than he was." Once Mr. Greeley wrote to decline an invitation of the lowa Press Association:— i "I have waited till longer waiting would be discourteous, only to find that I cannot attend your Press meeting next June as I wouU like to do. I find so many cares and duties pressing on me that with the weight of years I feel obliged to decline any invitation that takes me a day's journey from home." Out of this the recipients in consultation assembled made:— "I have wondered all along whether my squirt had denied the scandal about the President meeting Jane in the woods on Saturday. I have hominy, carrots, and R.R. ties more than I can move with my eight ste<ers. If eels are blighted, dig them early. Any insinuation that brick ovens are dangerous to hams gives me the hor- i rors." Another fine specimen of the result of illegibility occurred^ to the Duke of I Wellington. After the battle of Waterloo some commemorative beeches had been planted on his estate. One day while he was in the House of Lords he goti a note from J. G. Loudon, the eminent landscape artist, which read:— "My Lord Duke, —It would gratify me extremely if you would permit me to visit Strathfieldsaye at any time convenient to Your Grace and to inspect the Waterloo beeches. Your Grace's faithful servant, "J. C. LOUDON.*' The Duke read the letter twice, and though be could hardly make it out he wrote the following polite repiy .•—. "My Dear Bishop of London,—lt' will always give ma great pleasure to see you at Strathfieldsaye. Pray come there whenever it suits your convenience, whether I am home or not. My servant will receive orders to show 3 rou as many pairs of breeches of inino as you wish, but why you should wish to inspect those that I wona at the Battle of Waterloo is quite beyond the comprehension of yours most truly, "WELLINGTON." "■'

It is said of Macready, the player, that once he gave a pass to his theafcro to a friend. "If I had not known what it was," said the Mend, -'I should have taken it for a doctors.) recipe.' "It does look like it," rejoined his companion; suppose we try it."

So we went into a drug store and handed the pass to a clerk. He looked at it, took down a bottLo and began to pour in medicine from various vials. Toward the end the clerk seemed baffled and took the "recipe" to the proprietor, who smiled and pointed to another bottle, which the clerk took down and finished the prescription.

"One shilling for the cough mixture," he said as he handed it orer.