AT THE TEA TABLE.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XLV, Issue 11989, 28 January 1920, Page 5

AT THE TEA TABLE.

SOME TOPICAL TALKS “There is evidently plenty of money in Canada,” remarked the Critic. “Its Government has just been offered thirty million dollars more than it asked for by way of loan. There was no need to apply compulsory contribution in that country, as our Government had to do. ’ ’ “And yet the equivalent of about a hundred and fifty million dollars is on deposit in our own Banks,” said the Politician. “Why were Canadians liberal and Now Zealanders reluctant?” “Because there is less unrest in, Canada,” said the Cynic. “Here the piau with capital never knows what a day may bring forth, or how' soon he may be ruined if be takes his money out of the safe keeping of his Bauk. ”

■ “I noticed that the Canadian’s Yankee neighbours had ratner bitter experience during the war, for there were over six thousand strikes during that period, and some of them were on a large scale,” remarked the Critic. “One Yankee legislator showed a connection between these and anarchist agitators.” “It is the foreigners who causa the industrial trouble in most countries, ” said the Scribe, “and you will find that most of those who foment industrial strife or incite others to strike, come from foreign lands. They are usuaUy ignorant men, who do not realise that they have left countries where freedom is practically unknown and come to one whore the law already provides means for peaceful adjustment of all differences”

■ ‘Thou it would bs extremely beneficial to ns all if these men wore sent back to their own countries,” said tiie Cynic.

‘‘The cost of commodities continues to increase in. Sydney, ” remarked the Critic, ‘‘although they have a Commission that fixes prices. I noticed that bacon and hams have gone up 2d per lb.” “The inexorable law of supply and demand cannot long be interfered with, even by price-fixing commissions, ” said the Sago. “The producer, manufacturer and the distributor must get n fair profit, or each will soon be forced to cease operating. The rise is bad for the consumer, but necessary to the seller. It is indeed, rather an advantage to have prices fixed by a Commission, for the reason that it is to be presumed that it does not sanction a higher price unless it is clear that it ought to be allowed. If it were not fixed by a Commission the users might allege that the breeders were unfairly putting up the price of the 'gintleinan that pays the riut. ’ The Commission makes a very convenient buffer. ’'

‘‘l have been debating whether to train my sous to be prize fighters, or to apprentice them to the pork packing business,” remarked the Landlady. ‘‘l. see that Carpeuticr and Dempsey have a chance to earn thousands of dollars in a few minutes, and that Armour’s Meat Company got fourteen million dollars out of the public last ydar. It seems to be a toss up between the two. ” “Armour’s profits show you what can be done by combination, and command of the market,” said the Cynic. “Incidentally that, and the profits of tiio cotton, soap, and other commercial magnates, show where you may bo successful in searching for profiteers.”

“The Gorman officials don’t like leaving the territories that have been restored to their rightful owners,” remarked the Critic. “In leaving Alsace the other day and in their departure from Schleswig, they were solacing their grief by alleging that it was ‘an revoir, and not goodbye,’ as a once popular song iiad it. ”

“The Danes who have recovered Schleswig.” said the Sago, “were justified in their rejoicing, mot only because of the restoration of territory to them, but because they know tiiat, for the future their interests will be protected by the Allied Powers, even if tlio League of Nations does not become firmly established.” “I have been thinking that possibly the United States may have a special reason, ‘other than the coming elections, for keeping outside the League, for a time,” said the Critic. “You see, Mexico is“a small nation, and the Yankees may not desire to consult tiie League if they resolve to end trouble from that quarter. ” “I must confess, ” said the Scribe, “that I have been suspicious about those reported outrages on Americans and plots against the States. The policy has not been unknown of sending agents to stir up strife, so that excuse for war may be furnished. ”

“The Superman idea of the Ger* mans lias been exploded,” remarked the Landlady, “but I think the day of the Superwoman is drawing near. If dawned when Lady Astor gained a seat in the Mather of Parliaments, almost before the agitation of the suffragettes hud died away. An: already there has been another advance ’by women, for Russia has apwoman as her diplomatic representative in Italy. Let me remind you too, that diplomacy demands not merely grace and beauty, but brains. ”

“Ah!” said the Cynic, “I seem to remember that Russia also evolved Boobevism. I do not, hpwevor, dispute woman’s qualifications for diplomacy. No married man will deny them. When a woman wants to gain an object she practises on man diplomatic skill that can never be

rivalled by mere man. I suspect that it was after some experience of.that kind that Kipling wrote that ‘the female of the species is more deadly than the male,’ ”

“Referring to the profits in Yankee enterprises,” remarked the Critic, “did you notico that the other day the Ford Company added* largely to the revenue of New Zealand, as no less than £-1000 duty’ was paid on a shipment of cars to Timaru. ”

“Don’t imagine that the payment came out-of the Ford Company’s pockets,” said the Sage. “That duty will be paid by the people who buy the cars, though of course it will, go into the public purse.” “It sliows: that there are a lot of people who have plenty of money to spare,” said the Cynic, “but as for me, I can’t afford a Ford. ” A JAYK FKNNE.