AT THE TEA TABLE.

Rangitikei Advocate and Manawatu Argus, Volume XLV, Issue 11958, 2 December 1919, Page 5

AT THE TEA TABLE.

SOME TOPICAL TALKS.

“I remember a time,” remarked the Politician, “when it was not quite safe to utter any criticism of Sir Joseph Ward in any of the electorates that lie nearest the Southern Pole, but I notice that after Mr Massey’s speech at Invercargill, a motion of confidence in the Baronet could not even get a seconder. That seems to indicate that Ward is on the wane.”

‘‘l think his star began to set when he got the title,” said the Critic. “A Baronetcy does not seem to chime witli democracy,' nor does it induce the support of Labour. Even so, I think Mr Massey showed pluck in attacking the enemy so near his own ramparts,” “He was evidently not afraid to ‘beard the lion in his den, the Douglas in his hall, ’ ” said the Scribe. “His action was justified by its results for he got a vote of confidence. ” “It is my opinion,” said the Cynic, “that not only did the Baronetcy alienate the labour people, but that it was an indirect cause of the sudden withdrawal of the party from the National Government. That disruption of union in the face of attack by a common foe, has also provoked the resentment of many who were formerly his supporters.”

“It is curious,” remarked th Critic, ‘ ‘that the extreme Socialise element have a profound hatred forlr the Church. The Italians are gloating over their victory at the election when they defeated the Homan Cathblics, and they intend to join Soviet Russia where the Bolsheviks have manifested equal hostility to the Orthodox Greek Church. I sometimes think these movements are manifestations of the power of the Prince of Darkness.”

“The right will triumph in the end,’’ said the Sago. “The recent developments, by the way, have given us a key to the meanibg of the doings of D’Annunzio. He is a poet, and therefore has a somewhat prophetic eye. It has been evident that in his actions at Fiume, he had the tacit support of the Italian authorities, though they disavowed connection. He now says he intends to save Italy from Socialism, and if he can retain the influence with the army and navy that he apparently possesses, ho should bo successful. In the meantime I suspect that there will be some- serious outbreaks. What a commentary this turmoil is on the dreams of the pacifists I”

“Now consider what Britain is doing,’’ said the Politician. “She is reducing her army and some of the allied services, and is even turning her arsenals into factories, in anticipation of the day when the nations will turn their spears into ‘ploughshares and their swords into reaping hooks.” “Yes,” said the Cynic, “and in the meantime she is adding to her naval strength by acquiring the ships of the enemy. Yon may depend upon her statesmen to keep watchful eyes on others, and be ready to meet attack, and on her people to be ready to join together again from all parts of her vast Empire, if occasion requires. She is still supreme on the sea, and will so remain.”

“The evidence as to the iniquity of the ex-Kaiser is accumulating verv rapidly,” remarked the Scribe. "His own handwriting will be sufficient to convict him of being the author of the war. There will be plenty of evidence when William Hoheuzolleru is called on to plead in a British Court to the* indictment of his crimes against humanity.” "It is already clear enough that he was a monster of duplicity, ” said the Critic. “For j'ears he posed as the guarantor of the peace of the world, and was even awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, while he was all the time plotting a world war. He is a champion donble-dealsr. ” “What else can you expect?” said the Cynic. “Even the Imperial Eagle is double-faced. It is emblematical of his nature.”

‘ ‘The Labour Party are now the proud possessors of a Greymouth daily newspaper, remarked the Critic, “so I suppose that portion of the Press will be regarded by oxtreme Labourites as publishing nothing but the truth. ■’ "You forget that the proprietors are also capitalists, and that therefore the paper must be capitalistic. That is true Labour logic, and has been frequently expressed. They must have massed some capital to boy the paper. ” “Unless they paid for it with the paper money that one candidate says is quite equivalent to any other,” said the Cynic. “By-the-way, I knew one man who also held that stamped paper was as good as gold, and when an importunate creditor compelled him to sign a promissory note, he did it with a sigh of relief, saving ‘Thank Heaven, tliat’s paid.’ ” “I note,” said the Politician, “that Australia has nearly twice as much in promissory notes as there is gold to meet them with. Each note is a promise to pay, and if the gold is not ;there when disaster occurs,, what is to happen?” “Who cares?'’ growled the Cynic. “As the French proverb says, 'After us the deluge. ’ ” “ You [mentioned Lady Astor yesterday, who won the Plymouth seat in England,” said the Landlady. “Who is she?”

“She is the wife of WaldorfJAstor, who became a Peer on the death ;o£ his father, and thereby vacated his seat in the Commons, which she has now won, and thus kept in the family,” replied the Scribe. “She polled about 3000 more than her husband did at his election, and got an absolute majority over both Liberal and Labour. Her maiden name indicated power to cnarm, for she was Nancy Witcher, daughter of Chiswell Dabney Langhorn, a Virginian, and widow of Robert Gould Shaw. It may also interest you to know that she has two sons and one daughter.” A JAYE PENNE.