THEY ARE SAYING

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 57, 16 July 1915, Page 2

THEY ARE SAYING

That there will be high old times >n the occasion of the Moclc Court n the Premier Hall, Pukekohe, on rhuroday evening next. That the Public "Persecutor'' has framed some startling indictment, to which the persons concerned will be called upon to plead. Tnat in the instance of criminals of the deepest dye "the darbies" will be requisitioned to keep the malefactors from doing barm to the spectators in Court. That His Honour on the Bench can be relied upon to uphold the traditions of the British race and to administer justice with mercy. That the pucishment will be made to tit the crime to not more than "a quidl t." Tbat a certain prominent citizen, of strictly cold water persuasion, fell in a "dug cut" the other evening. That the said "dug out" wai being constructed for water channelling purposes. That with uo light at night time it was a real pit-fall. Tbat it >s tot true that the victim of the occurrence was a bit groggy. That all the same be has been groggy on bis legs ever since and speakß far from kindly of Council methods. That District Land Valuer Morgan learnt a wrinkle or t«o at ibe Pukekohe Boundary Commission last week. That acting on the sworn evidence of witnesses he will be inclined to think that valuations require to be increased in Pukekohe. That the Church Parade in Pukekohe last Sunday was not complete. That there was no big Drum Major deftly twisting a staff to the awe of urchins. That on t v e next parade one of the Reserve ought to don the kilts and head the procession aa Drum Major. That some residents of Patumaboe have renounced certain forms of

luxury or comfort until the war is over. That they pondered deeply before they decided what shape their selfsacrifice should take. That the matter finally resolved itself into Beer or Tobacco. lhat in the end they thought they would still like their beer so they discarded their pipes. That all being inveterate smokers they ara being closely watcbed to see it they keep the pledgp. That the penalty is a golden coin if they backslide. That Mr Magistrate Frazer means to put down the drinkiog amongst Maoris at Tuakau. That to teach them a lesson he sent one of their number yesterday for "a month hard" at Mount Eden for having, whilst drunk, assaulted a policeman. That the act of pakebas in "droppirg the bottle" for Maoris is degrading and contemptible in the extreme. That when the offence is brought home to the culprit or culprits tte maximum penalty will probably be administered. That the Maoris at Tuakaa have no affection for Constable Taylor. That he knows a thing or two and i 3 not to be hood-winked by the latest Uaori trick. Tb>t their new move is to go abuot with their pockets bulging out with bottles—pickle buttles. That tbe wily Constable on lis

part has a rod in pickle for the Maoris caught with a bottle of "Mother's Ruin" or a drop of the "crater" That the Roulston family are to the irunt once more in Pukekohe in assisting a noble cause. That in response to Mr James Roulston's appeal in a letter in this issue the Mayor should call a public meeting to organise a Commitiae to luok atfer our local wnunded heroes. That many peopl? of Papakura regard the demolition of the railway reserve's majetsic gum trees as an act of vandalism. That it is unfortunate that Progress in ths caße has been attended with spoilation. That thereby Papakura has lost one of of its lovers' walks. That Waiaku lays claim to a heavy-weight resident. That on thß scales this week be registered 19st 7ilba lhat Constable Fearnely, cA Waiuku, can use bis "dooks." if That the Waioku Boy Scouts don't tancy the idea cf taking him on with the gloves. That a certain piano used on public occasions at Waiuku might be exchanged for another instrument. lhat the audience sings "God Save the King" and "Rule, Britannia," with "Kiesler, Berlin," staring taem i i the face un the piano. That Waiuku residents have had their fill of muddy r.<ads and mean to carry the roads' improvement scheme at the loan'poll. lhat at least in this respect Waiuku will win hands down from Pukekohe. That the Northern S.S. Company should install "the wireless" on the s.s. Waiuku and the scow Pona. That residents would then not have to wait up all night on the wharf in the expectation of either one of the two boats arriving at any minute. 'lhat a real battle royal h being waged between the New Zealand Dairy Association a:d the Waikato Co-operative Dairy Co., Ltd. fcTbat both aie out for blood, or in other words new suppliers. That the fight promises wtll for the cow-spankers, as both organisations wart to have the distinction of paying more for butter-fat than the other.

That the astute Mr Waikato Goodfellow has played a trump card at Aka Aka by arranging for cheese to be manufactured there. That "Education Run Mad" is one ofjPukekohe's new developments. * That the educational authorities seem to think that instruction, more or less of an elementary character, tits a girl or lad better for after life than a business training. That it is atsurd to tlink that employers can releaas any young members of their staff to attend school during business hours. That the School Committee should intimate to headquarters that Pukekohe must not be made the scape* goat o( the faddists.