Page 2 Advertisements Column 1

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 4, Issue 26, 1 April 1915, Page 2 (Supplement)

Recruiting Sergeant: "I can't enlist you, my good man; you have only ono eye.'' Patriotic Scotsman: "Hoots! that disna matter. Ve've tae shut ae e'en whin yei ;hooti:i' onywey." "Docs Wombat own cr rent his honse?" ••Rent; it." "How do you Know?" ''l know all right. He scratches the matches on the paint." "What! giving up already, my boy?" said a gentleman to a youthful angler. "You must bring a little more patience with you another time." "I brought enough patience with me, mister, but i didn't bring enough worms!'" The Irish adjutant's wife was telling Bridget about her husband. My husband, Bridget," she said, proudly, "is at the head of the Tipperary militia." "Oi t'ought as much, ma'am," said Bridget, cheerfully. "Ain't he got the foine malicious look?" The Archbishop of York, in his early days', did a groat deal of work among the uneducated clnssos, and on one occasion a very illiterate woman was godmother to a child at a christening. In the course of the ceremony she was asked, in the usual way, if she renounced the devil and all his works, vie. "Oh, yes, sir, ' s-he replied, briskly, "I recommend theai nil."