A WOMAN'S WORK IS NEVER DOME.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 29, Issue 32, 27 April 1917, Page 6

A WOMAN'S WORK IS NEVER DOME.

How can a man say that a woman ha; nothing to do i In one year she gets dhvi''i 365 times, washes dishes 1,095 times, pt-o the children ready for school twice a day in; xBo days, gets the baby to sleep 1,460 times makes about 300 calls, and, as she wish;' for something she hasn’t every minute, elm | wishes 60 things an hour, or 262,800 lh:m;: lin a year. Who says a woman has nothin; to do ? A SOAPLESS COUNTRY. Here is a chance for our rival soapmakers. India, it seems, is virtually a soap less country. Throughout the villages ol Hindustan soap is, indeed, regarded as a natural curiosity, and is rarely, if ever, kept in stock by the native shopkeeper. In the towns it is now sold to a certain extent, but how small this is may be gathered from the fact that the total consumption of soap in India last year was only 100,000 cwl That is to say, every 2,500 persons used on an average only 1 talbs, of soap between them ■ or, in other words, considerably less thai half an ounce was the average consumplio per person, DO NOT FORCE CHILDREN TO EAT. Some parents compel children to eat against their will, as when they come to the breakfast table without an appetite, or have lor tit at the prospect of a visit. Unless we arc thirsty we do not care to drink the purest water without aversion, and as for eating when there is no appetite it is revolting, as anyone may prove to himself by attempting to take a second meal twenty minutes after having eaten a regular dinner. The appe tite, the hunger, is excited by the presence of gastric juice about the stomach ; but il there is no gastric juice there can be no hunger, no appetite, and to compel a child to swallow food into the stomach when there is no gastric juice there to receive it, is an absurdity and a cruelty. When there s no gastric juice food is rejected by vomiting, >r remains there for hours—a "load," or ilse ferments, causing oppression and wind. SHE MUST HAVE MALARIA. A subscriber to the Telephone Exchange isked to be placed in communication with ais medical man. Subscriber—" My wife complains of a severe pain at the back of her neck, and occasional nausea." Doctor—" She must have malaria," Subscriber—" What’s best to be done ?" At this moment the clerk at the central station alters the switch by mistake, and the unlucky husband receives the reply of a mechanical engineer in answer to inquiries of a mill-owner. Engineer— "l believe the insiders lined with excoriations to a considerable thickness. Let her cool during the night, and in the morning before firing up take a hammer and pouhd her vigorously. Then get a garden hose with strong pressure from the main, and let it play freely on the parts affected." - To his great surprise the doctor never san his client.

A BAD MAN. Nostetter McGinnis is an arrant coward, but at the same time he is very boastful. Meeting Gilhooly, he said — " Bill Snort came mighty near getting into a mess this morning." "With whom ?" "With me. I tell you he had a pretty close shave." " What was it all about ?" " Well, you see last week there was a piece in Snort’s paper about me having stolen a pig. My name wasn't mentioned, of course, but the description clearly pointed to me. The article went on to say that a red-hot stove wouldn’t be safe if I was in the vicinity, and it seemed to me that it was a sort ofa reflection on my honesty.” “Yes, I read the article. It was rather personal." "Just so. Well, I thought I'd call on the editor and ask him what he meant, if I coulu find him in." » Did you find him in ?" "Yes, he was in, so I asked him if he meant to impeach my honesty. What do you suppose he said ?" " I've no idea." " He said I didn't have any honesty to fmpeacb, and with that he slapped me on the,face. , I happened to notice that there was a ponderous " shepherd’s crook" walking stick on the desk, and as quick as light’ ling I grabbed it." “ Did you strike him ?" « No, I just grabbed the stick to keep him torn striking me with it. As soon as I got hold of it I darted out of the door. He took after me but couldn't overtake me. What Jo you suppose Snort has done now ? He comes out in his paper and charges me with stealing his walking stick, when I only took It to keep him from thrashing me with it, Snort is a great deal too reckless in what he says and does, and some of these days he’ll get hurt." "Yes, he'll break his toe running after you." SCARING A LION. Wild beasts are usually alarmed by the unexpected. The Italian’s organ monkey that saved itself from the bulldog by taking iff its cap, evidently seemed to the startled, brute a creature that could pull off its own. head. A stranger instance was related the other day by a hunter lately returned from Africa, where he had been trapping for the animal collectors of Hamburg, He was out one afternoon with one of the natives, preparing a trap in a rocky ravine. He says:— " We had built a stout pen of rocks and logs, and placed a calf as a. bait. The sun was nearly down as we started for the camp and no one had the least suspicion of the presence of danger until a lion, which had been crouching beside the bush, sprang out and knocked me town. In springing upon his prey the lion or tiger strikes as he seizes This blow of the paw, if it falls on the right spot, disables the victim at once. »l was so near this fellow that he simply reared, seized me by the shoulder, and pulled me down. "I was flat on the earth < before I realised what had happened. I way on my back, and he stood with both pa;«s on my waist, facing the natives and growing very savagely. The men,ran off about| prefect, which was, doubtless, the I was not carried off at once. _ y< “I can say without conceit tjaatjl was fairly cool. The attack had C/ime/so suddenly that I had not time to ryt • rattled.’ I had been told by an old Bo; tfr hunter, that it ever I found myself in a predicament as this I must appea’/to the lion’s fears. Had I moved my ar>n to get my pistol the beast would havey.lowered his head and seized my throat.? So long as I lay quiet he reasoned that, K was dead, and gave bis attention toth^naitives. " Suddenly I barked like a dog, following the bark, with,'a growl, and that lion jumped twenty, feet jft his surprise. / He came down between roe and the natives, and I turned enough to see that his tail was down. I uttered more barks and growls, but without moving a hand, and the lion, after making a circle rpund me, suddenly bolted and went jff with a scare which would last him a week. If you picked up a stick and discovered it to be a snake you would do just as that lion did. He supposed he had pulled down a man. The man turned into a ;i.-rg. He could not understand it, and it iaqjhi«ied