Page 6 Advertisements Column 2

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 25, Issue 40, 26 May 1914, Page 6

IT WAS A NICE AND STEADY JOB Hoc;av and Casey came oyer from the old country together. They drifted apait after reaching America. Hogan went into the ratf business and made enough money tc retire, while poor Casey could never raise himself above a labourer’s pay. They met for the first time in many years the other day, and this is the conversation that took place between them : ' . Casey: " Oh, me 1 Oh, my ! can this be Tim Hogan me eyes are gazin' on ? Ee the hookey, me bye, ye air lookin’ like a rah gintlcman.” , . , T Hogan (rather stiffly): “Me friend, I have-a-slight-remimbrance of mating yor somewhere abroad, .s there anything I cai do for yez ?" . Casey ; " Ah, Tim, don t be puttm or lugs wid your aqueals. I am looking lor ; job. Can ye give me wan ?" f-Icgan : “ Well, come to think of it, I can Ti e wather pipe up at me house burst tl; ■ mcniin' and I am jist on me way to th'lumber’s. Now, I will lave the plumber; i\e yon a steady job the year round, pa you a dollar a day and your board and s;iv ;aoney niesell, and all you will have, to do i [ ist hold your linger on the lake." ‘ , THE OFFICE TOWEL. Omun I think of the old printing-nfhci j towel,. It was a beautiful towel to gaze upc < when it was fresh and clean on Mo f morning, for then it .vas a yard wide, .v.r..: a 1 sweet as a lily. But by Monday evening i- [ iia'd the devil’s finger-marks on it, and 1 1 1 (. • jj were more plainly ir». pressed than any lorn i slops that were evrr made on the sands o f time. , j On Monday L was fit to wipe your fa t oil for fifteen minutes alter being put up. I On Tuesda /it was a hand-towel —dial is J it would clean a printer’s hands; and soi « any one else’s. \ On Wednesday it would put a patent j leather shine on a pair of brown-leathei j shoes. And then it got thin,.too, and ii l kept getting thinner, until it almost looked '. like a shoe-string. I One day a compositor with the D.'l.k. ; took it for a black snake, and rushing for the stair-way, fell all the way down over the devil who was coming up with an armful oj pie wrapped in brown paper, and a pail of beer hanging on each finger. By Friday the towel was so black that you could run it over a galley and pull a proof. On Saturday it was wrung out into the ink-bottle, and then used in. the press-room for drying the ink-tables, f _ On Saturday forenoon a compositor had a • headache, and tied it round his head. Oxalic acid w ould not, take the black oft, and he had to dye his red hair black to escape ridicule. Then a farmer bought it and took it home. He said some time after that he had used it , as a fertilizer, and had a splendid crop of f flax and wincey shirts. | HOW THE BURGLAR BURGLES. [by a man in the business.] The watchman we got rid of by the news of the sudden disappearance of his wife, who in turn had eleven miles to the bedside of her mother, reported to be dying s The next thing was to enter the bank. There was no way to get into the building except by the windows. So we daubed and painted a pane of glass with treacle, then pasted the bedquilt to it, smooth and tight. The syrup was thick as glue, and it took hold like a terrier. When it pasted all right we took our little hammer and broke out the glass. There was no noise, because the blanket killed the taps and the,molasses kept the broken glass from falling. A second | later we had unfastened the window and i were inside.

mechanics, i we laid lor tne vault aoor just in the good ' old way. We set the feet of the “puller” I against the door and clinched its hand-like ‘ lingers on the combination knob, and half- ■ a-dozen turns of the wheel brought it out ! like an old tooth. So much for the ppwer Spf the screw and Archimedes, or who>/ever invented it. There was a fairly smooth safe man. with me in the gang, and he reached in the hole with his two fingers and the tumblers around until we had the door unlocked. , When we got inside the vault we found [ about £2OO in one package and a portion of another; the balance was in a little, compact, all-steel, burglar-proof safe which sat inside the vault. It was a powerful safe, and its strength seemed to sit and blink at ns in the glare of the dark lanterns in a sort of serene confidence as to its ability to defy the most potent tools in our kit. We went straight to work, for time was ressing. The night watchman might come ack. We clapped the" puller" on the safe front and tore out the Combination. Our “gopher” tried his skill on this as on the vault door, but the intervals were too complex. We therefore decided to take the short lan J noisy cut and blow it up. We puttied up the crack all around tlpe door, so that it • .vas air-tight. Then we made a little hole ’ at the centre of the top crack, and applied the sucker of an air-pump. Next we opened a small hole similar to the,first through the putty near the centre of the crack at the bottom of the door. Then holding a tin pan with its edge against the safe so as to cover the bottom hole with fine rifle powder, •vith which we heaped the pan, we comI menced on the air-pump, and sucked in about a half-pound of powder in a minute. We fixed the fuse, and wrapped the whole safe in gunny sacks and bedquilts, set the fuse afire, and jumped out of the vault and closed the door. We heard the fuse spit and splutter for a time, and then “ boom,” lull and distant, like cannon miles away. We opened the door, and as soon as the smoke got out we went in. It was a success. The door was loose and ranshackly. Five ■j wedges of steel and as ' many taps of our lead-filled, copper-cased maul to each, and [lie door was lifted to the floor. There was [2,000 in packages stacked inside, £IOO ! »ach, pinned and amount markedon the band. 1 But there was a cast-steel money-box in?ide still to hear from. The jar of blowing die door had not loosed it, and it was tightly rivettod to the upper interior of the safe. Workmen such as we never cried "a day lone,” and work in sight. I took a cold chisel and cut a place for a wedge. Then ive brought a wedge to work, and a few taps carted the box loose on its rivets half an nch. I suppose the power of a steel wedge if proper angle driven with five hundred pounds of force is half a thousand tons; I jon’t know. It wasenough for that moneycox, anyhow. As soon as I had it started I took a jimmy luade in four parts ; best wrought steel, slim is a fishing-rod, and as accurate in its action rs a Geneva watch. 1 joined these parts. 1 ind so made it four feet long. I inserted it where the wedge had been, and a strong pry ore loose the box. That jimmy would have noved a stone church. We took box, bag of bills, tools, and all die rest and crept away. Carrying our plunder, we walked in silence down the centre of one of the’ tree-arched streets of the little town. It was only eleven o’clock, yet the simple lives of the people left only r„n occasional light to shine from the window of some sick room. The town was asleep now, but how it would talk in the morning! Four streets away stood a pair-horse van It took us twenty-five miles before daylight, -nd suffice it to say that we got away with vae monev. | Not being artists, simply good For Chronic Chest Complaints, Woods’ Great Peppermint Cure, i/G, 2/6.