ROBERT'S TIP.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 24, Issue 16, 28 February 1913, Page 6

ROBERT'S TIP.

He had made a hearty meal at a »»■ taurant, and getting up, ho said to the waiter: " I declare if I haven't forgotten m> purse. ’ The waiter fired up, and hurled big words at him for full three minutes before pausing for breath. When a chance came the stranger continued —" But I have half-a-sov. here in my waistcoat packet.' The waiter couldn't smile to save his life. HE OBJECTED TO THE RENT. A lawyer made out a bill to a client wht was a bit of a wag in his way , most of the items were for trifling services, and covered several sheets of foolscap. The client went to settle with the man ol law, and stood at the door with the request that he would receipt it. , •• Please come in.” said the lawyer, in his most cordial tones. “ Not much,” replied his client ; “ you’o charge me rent if I did." FREE OPERA GLASSES. . A pair of opera glasses will, this year, b« ittached to every seat in all the theatres ol Warsaw. Russia. Every glass will be fastened with a chain to the chair. No money ' wot be needed to cause the lever to slide I'ide. The contract for furnishing all the required glasses has been awarded to a German manufacturer, who will charge nothing for them, and will present them tc '.he various theatres in 1902, provided that dll then he receives 3 cents on every theatre ticket sold in the Warsaw theatres The managers of the Warsaw theatres think 1 hey can afford to pay this royalty. “ QUICK MARCH !" .. A preacher was addressing an out-do 0 r crowd in the city, when a drunken soldiei came up and ridiculed the service. Findin;; it was useless to ignore the man, thi preacher said : “ Ah, my friend, you are no soldier: 2 011 have only borrowed thosr clothes! No servant of the Queen wouk get drunk and interrupt a peaceful service.’ The man protested that he was a soldier and invited the minister to test him. "Very well,” was the reply, “I will Now, attention !” T his the soldier did as well as his conditior allowed. ” Right about face 1” This was also’ accomplished with sonv ■ trouble.

“ Now, quick march !” And off he went, marching down the roat at a desperate pace, unable to see th< preacher s successful manoeuvre. COMPARISON OF AREAS. The largest state in the civilised world i Texas, which has an area of 274,356 squarmiles; the smallest is the little state o Monaco in Europe, which only has an area if si\ square miles. The Austrian empire contains 240,943 square miles; the Germa; empire, 212,091 square miles; France 204,091; Spain, 177,781 ; Sweden, 168,045 California, 157,801; Dakota, 150,932 ; Terri lory of Montana, 143,776 ; Norway, 122,280 New Mexico, 121,201; Great Britain anc Ireland, 120,879 ; Italy, 114,296 ; Arizona 113,916; Nevada, 112,090; Colorado, 104,500 Territory of Wyoming, 97,883; Oregon 95.274 ; Territory of Idaho, 86,294 1 Terri lory of Utah, 84,476; Minnesota, 83,531' Kansas, 80,891 ; Nebraska, 75,$ 55 ; Territor;, of Washington, 69,994 ; Indian Territory 68,991 ; Missouri, 65,350; Turkey in Europe 62,025 I Roumania, 45.642; Bosnia and Her zegovina, 28,125 ; Bulgaria. 24,360; Servia 20*850 ; Netherlands, 20,527: Greece, 19,941 Switzerland, 15,235: Denmark, 14,553 Pastern Ronmelia, 13,500; Belgium, 11,373 Montenegro, 1,770. HOGARTH AND HIS PATRON. HociAimi was once applied to by 1 miserly old nobleman to paint on his staircasi a representation of Pharaoh’shost in the Rei Sea. In attempting to fix on the pric< Hogarth became quite dissatisfied, Th( miser was unwilling to give mi ire than hah the real value of the picture. At lasi Hogarth, out of all patience, agreed to hi: pa*••on’s tones. Within a day or two th picurc was ready. The nobleman way stirprisi d a; such expedition, and im media!! A 1i to examine it. Thecanva. was 1 1 ■ 1 i 11 ■' over red. “.•h.ii" said the purchaser, “ wha' cave yi.u i.-ie? I ordered a scene of th< Red Sea T " The Red Sea you have," said Hogarth (till smarting to have his talents undervalued “ But where are the Israelites ?“ “ They are all,gone over.” " And where are the Egyptians?" “ They are all drowned.” The miser’s confusion could only bt equalled by the haste with which he paid his bill. THE FIRST WAR MEDAL. Probably the first medal conferred hEngland for services in the field was one authorised to be issued by Charles I. ir, 1643, to such soldiers as might distinguish llieniselves in " forlorn hopes." It was tc oe made of silver, and was to be worn oe .he breast of every man who should be certified by the commanders-in-chief to have done faithful service in the forlorn hope. It was, in fact, the Victoria Cross ofthal time, the commanders and wardens of the Mint being required to keep a register of the names of all those upon whom the decoration was conferred. In June, 1643, Charles 1. ordered a gold medal to be struck foi Robert Welch, an Irish gentleman, who at the battle of Edgehill recovered the standard of the King's Own Regiment, which had been taken by the Parliamentary farces, and who also captured two pieces of cannon, tor which services he had been previously knighted. This war medal, which bore the effigies of the King and Prince Charles, with the inscription, "PerJtenale Mandatum Caroli Ill'll it hoc /mijinatur lioberto Welch, MiUti," ■seems to have been the first which was worn as a personal decoration. THE LAST OF THE WAR CHIEFS

Another most remarkable man was Tso- | sieten, war chief of Taitka, now—if not dead ■ —a very aged man. In old times his prowess j in war was sung along the coast for many a league, and still lives in the memory of the neighbouring tribes, whose terror he was. War after war he waged with them, until the whole coast paid tribute to him, and.he really did not know his wealth in slaves and blankets. Sometimes he would buy slaves —if captives from more distant tribes so much the better—give them canoes and provisions, and set them off to their homes. Then .everybody would gather round and jagcrly ask, " Oh! who bought you and sc* you free ?" “Tsosieten bought me and set me free." Then great was the name of Tsosieten. In “piping times of peace” he lived on " Indian Island," in a stockaded fort armed with cannon which he had bought from the Imperial Fur Company in Russian America, and inside its pickets was the village of his chosen warriors. Alas !- sic transit gloria mundi— blind and helpless, last of his name, when I last saw him he still lived in his ruined fort, with only the recollections of his former deeds to ’console him. “They all call themselves chiefs nowadays,” he said bitterly t« me. "I am the only chief I”— Frm Xkt Peoplm ef ih* World.”