HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 19130, 26 September 1936, Page 13

HUMOUR---More or Less

More Important I Husband: "Did you have a good game of bridge, dear?-'' v AY'ifo: "So-so. AVe lost the rubber, but I think we won the argument afterwards.'' Better Not "I want to see your beauty editor," said the caller at the sanctum of a popular magazine. "Are you following her advice?" '' L am.'' "Got any confidence in it?" "I have." "Then you don't want to see her." Lssentiais . A tramp applied to a gentleman for a lew coppers to buy some bread. "Can't you go into any business that is more profitable than this " he asked. "I'd like to open a bank if I could only get the tools," answered the t ramp. Watch Closely "Maggie," said Angus to Ms wife?, ••hercs a wee ticket for to-night's conjuring show, and when he comes to that part where he takes a teaspoon o' Hour and one egg and makes 20 omelettes, watch verra verra close." Stuck. The native genius of a Lancashire man had carried him to big success in business'without much aid of educa-j tion. ' I He was asked to distribute the prizes at a school, and made the usual speech of good counsel. "Now, boys," he said, "always remember that education is a great thing. There's nothing like education. Take arithmetic. Through education we learn that twice two make four, that twice six makes- 12, that seven sevens make . . .and then there's geography." A Puzzler A Xew Yorker, visiting some friends in London, was lamenting having left at home two beautiful daughters who were just budding into womanhood. Turning to a man t,o whom he had just been introduced, he asked if he had any family. "Yes, I have a wife and six children in Australia. And I never saw one of them," he added quietly. The two sat. in silence. Then the interrogation began. "Were you ever blind, may I ask??' said the American. "No," was the reply. "Did you marry a widow?" "No," he answered. ;-; Another silence. "Did I understand you to say yon had a wife and six children living in Australia and had never seen one of them ? ■'' "Yes, that is how I stated it." Then the American inquired. "How can that, bo? You say you never saw one of them. 1 do not understand it at all." '/Because," was the reply, "one ot them was born after I left."