HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18331, 24 February 1934, Page 9

HUMOUR---More or Less

.What a contemporary wants to know is what will happen when it takes everybody’s income to pay the taxes to provide Government aid for everybody. Pitiful.

“It is pitiful to sec a 15-year-old girl with cigarette-stained lingers,” says a writer. She should wait until she gets a little holder.—Punch. Antidote.

Tramp: The lidy next door ’as give me a piece of ’ome-mado cake. Won’t you give me somethin’, too? Lady: Yes, I’d better give you a digestive tablet. Fit.

An eye-witness of his recent tight in Rome, says Primo Camera would make an excellent soldier. Tho trouble would be in getting a war to fit him.—Punch. Suggestive.

Hearing liis friend Pat was seriously ill, Mike went to see him. He climbed up to tho littlo attic where Pat lived and found him looking very sick indeed.

“Cheer up, me boy!” said Mike. “Y’e’ll soon be up on yer feet and ’round as usual. Ye’re good for another fifty years.” Thus Mike continued to cheer his friend up. After a while he bade him a cheerful farewell. On his way out his head came in contact with the low ceiling. “Good Lor 7 , Pat,” lie exclaimed, •“how will they iver get a corpse out o’ this place?” No Wonder.

“Hello, Jim, back from your hunt ing trip, I see. Did you bag anything?”

“Not a bird,” responded Badshot wearily. “Well, no wonder. Look at the dog you look. The idea of going I hunting with a tailless pointer!” | “Oh, don’t blame poor Beppo. He had a tail when we started.” Greeting. ] After eight years of absence he alighted at the station of the town of liis birth. There' was, despite his expectations, no one on the platform whom he knew. j Bag in hand, he sought out the old porter, a friend since boyhood, j To him, at least, he would be welcome, and he was about to extend a hearty greeting when the other .--pone first. I “Hello, John,” he said, “going ' away?” I The Old Axe. J “That looks like an old axe,” said the visitor to the town’s oldest inhabitant. “It is, sor, it is. That axe is 75 years old. I bought it when I was a boy.” “The axe seems just as good as when you bought it, doesn’t jit?” “We 11,.” replied the inhabitant after a thoughtful, pause, “it’s had three new blades and live new handles, but excepting for that she’s just the 1 same, sor, just the same. ’ ’

Unlucky Number. A young couple, wishing to get married, went to a minister’s house on Sunday evening just as he was ready to leave for his church service. Tho preacher explained to them what he considered a way out of the difficulty.

“You two come to the evening services, and at the close come forward and I will marry you.’’ They agreed to this, and when the minister had completed his sermon, in order to give them the cue to come forward, announced: “All those desiring to be married, come forward. ’ ’ Thirteen women and ono man started for the altar.