HUMOUR--- More or Less

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LX, Issue 18249, 18 November 1933, Page 13

HUMOUR --- More or Less

your wife fond of listening sta?” " . . , '•‘Not half so much as sno is or sipeakmg out.” *T * * * * “The modern girl is nothing but an animated; doll,” declares a novelist,, fie must admit, however, that she doesn’t call ‘•‘Mamma” when she is squeezed. 5? * f '•'* * * * * Of course baseball lias its points, but’ 'koW we lonj£ to stand in a crew’d again and watch a good snappy steam shovel.—Canadian paper. * * •» *

“How did' you find your undo, John?” “In apple-pie order.” “How is that?” ‘‘‘Crusty.” #

He wasn’t much to look at, hut he was an ardent wooer. “Darling,” he said to the brigut blonde as ne stroked her pink lingers prior to the next dance, '' I wonaer; dp you ever think about me?” Algy, ,v she answered, “1 do have my moments of depression.

proud Mother: “Yes, our youngest son* Has a beautiful voice, and we have hfij him taught the flute so that Mb can accompany* himself. ” *i *****

Judge: “Ho you know the meaning of aii 'oath, madam?” •fyittoeks (proudly): “Your honor! An” lfih husnand shippin ’ before ,tlie ifiasC these 15 years!” 15” Tie ***••*

A littlfc boy surprised his parents by" refilling to be scared- into being sand* , ‘ ‘‘‘ft’s no use telling me the angels will Write down in' their books if I’m haiighty,” he said. “I might as well jifsh you they think up in heaven that dead: ” 1 “(But why should they think that; • ‘Because 1 haven't said my prayers for two weeks. ’ ’ tor ■! ’v • * * * Tommy: like to go to bed noWj, pfedse, mummy, 'cos I'ift afraid dhddy is going to be cross.” "jifpthor: “Going to be cross? Why whatever do you moan, child?” ‘ towiby;: “Well, I’ve just broken hMipgipe.” # # . Mistress:, “Please don’t let" mo catch you entertaining your friends an the kitchen.” • Maid: “I don’t mean to, mum; but you dttbob around so!” * * * *

HUSband; “Darling, what hns happened? Why have you that plaster over your left eye? ’ ’ Wife: ‘‘Plaster? That’s my new hat ’* * * * * A Depression Story. An M, grey-haired agricultural laborer told a/fried® the other day that although “things are no better, this depression is nearly over.” “Why do you say that?” asked his/friend. -j f ft, “Well,' ’ explained the old man, “I have seen several of these depressions. They come every so often, and usually last about the life of three pairs of trousers. 1 am wearing my third pair now, and they are so thin that when I sit on a penny 1 can tell whether it is heads or tails.” Manners, Little Eunice was very evidently not enjoying her first parly, and so bitter was her weeping that the hostess’s mother suggested that she go home. .., , . b In tt very Short time a timid knock * c ame to the door, and the mother exclaimed: “Well, Eunice, i am glml w see you! Did you decide to come back *°‘ ‘N-ipuo,” sobbed the child, “I iust caniy back to' tell you I h-ihad a nice tithe. ”