HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LV, Issue 17179, 8 February 1930, Page 10

HUMOUR MORE OR LESS

SENTIMENTAL HUBBY. She (mournfully).— Just think, •Henry, I weigh 200 pounds. He (tenderly). —And all that belongs to me. What have I done to be worthy of such a great blessing? * * a * PREHISTORIC STYLES FOR MARRIED MEN. Flintrazor (the barber).- —Just trim the ends, I s ’pose ? I remember you said your bride likes to toy with your crisp curls. Boncseraper (the bridegroom).— That was before we were married. Clip it close to the scalp so she can’t get a grip on it. MINIMISED SENS ATI ON. Lady (who has just returned to the village after her honeymoon).—Well, John, I suppose my elopement was a nine days’ wonder in Granthampstead? John. —Ay, that it were Mann. Leastways it would ’a’ been if Sam Boyle’s dog hadn’t gone mad the same day. tf # * # PRESENCE OF MIND. The famous portrait painter, Sir William Orpen, tells an amusing story of a struggling young artist down Chelsea way who was painting the portrait of a lady client whom —entirely as a matter of business —he was anxious to impress with his social position and importance. In the middle of the morning, his wife, who did not know there was a sitting on, came bustling into the studio from tho kitchen in an apron. “Do you want the mutton boiled or roasted?” she asked. “Ask your mistress!” replied tho artist with great presence of mind. * * * * PRESENCE OF MIND. At a Madrid bull-fight the bandstand collapsed, throwing the musicians into the ring. We understand that with great presence of mind one of them kept the bull off with a saxophone solo. # * * * BILLBOARDING ! Seeing America first: . . . sharp curve ahead ... a skin you Jove to touch . . . what a dilapidated old house ... it floats . . . 400 rooms with bath . .-. from contented cows . . . just soak and rinse . . . what a wonderful view . . . detour . . . safety and interest guaranteed . . . best lubrication . . . slow down to 20 mi . . .

hot dogs and pop . . . no left turn . . . conic again . . . Florida’s Nursery . . . 57 varieties . . . farm . . . Pottsville was settled in . . . more power, quicker get-away . . . this is a fine stretch of road . . . detour . . . more mileage . . . picture ahead —kodak as you go.

JUXK Rag-and-bone Man (at back door): Any old junk von want to got rid of, ma'am? Housewife (eagerly): Yes, come right in; my husband will be here in a minute.

HER POSITION) Usher (to cool, dignified lady): Are you a friend of the groom? The lady: Indeed, no! I’m the bride’s mother.