HUMOR, MORE OR LESS

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LV, Issue 16873, 9 February 1929, Page 10

HUMOR, MORE OR LESS

Under the headline “He Ought to Know,” the Daily Express quotes the following advertisement:-—“For sale: Baker’s business; good trade, large oven. Owner has been in it twelve years. ’ ’ —(Australian paper.) * * * * A doctor says that the ordinary baby born to-day is far more nervy than those born twenty years ago. There are various reasons for this, such as the National Debt and the absence of laps.—London Opinion. * * * * Wife: When we were married, I thought you were a brave man. Husband: So did a good many other people. * * ♦ « WHAT CLARENCE FEARED. “Aren’t you ever afraid that you’ll lose control of the car?” said his aunt, who was a nervous passenger. “Constantly-,” replied her nephew, Clarence, “I’m two instalments behind already. ” * * * * “CUT OFF AVI’. A BOB.” This is the story of the man who tried to put a Scotch one over Sir Harry Lauder. He greeted the eminent Scot cheerily. “Hullo, Harry,” he called, “I’ll give you eight in’ pence for a bob.” “Ye’ll dae me, mon.” The great humorist’s haste in taking the bait should have been a warning. The sly lad seized the proffered shilling with avidity and gleefully counted out eight pennies. “There you are, old man,” he announced, ‘laughingly; “eight in pence; no’ bad, eh?” “No,” replied the clever Scot, drily, “but th’ shulliu’ is ” ****«, CONFIRMATION. Bill Reeves, famous English cricket umpire, has a wav with him which leaves no room for doubt.. English cricketers, now in Australia, tell many stories concerning his method. A county player, given out Ibw by Reeves, was most dissatisfied with the ruling against him, He did not mince matters as he walked down the pitch, on his way to the dressingroom. “I wasp’t out!” he exclaimed, flourishing his bat at the imperturbable Reeves. “No,” quietly responded the umpire, “well, you have a look in the papers in the morning.” * •*■ * * MUM. Mistress: And what' is your name? New Maid: Minnie, mum. Mistress: Oh, well, I will expect a maximum of work done. * * * * NOT TRUSTFUL,. Sophie, the colored servant, approached the cashier of a local bank with an air of determination, and planked down her savings of several years. “Why, Sophie?” asked the cashier, who happened to be her employer, “I thought you always said you’d never trust the bank?”

“That’s all right, master, but this time I must change my mind; you see I'sc going to get married and I don’t want so much money in the house with a strange man around the place.”