STORIETTES.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 11116, 2 November 1907, Page 4 (Supplement)

STORIETTES.

IN NEED OF A PILOT. Practising beforo . tho Federal Courts for the , southern district of New York are two classes of attorneys who busy themselves respectively with bankruptcy and u<bnia'Alty i two widely <mvci\gent branches of the law. A noted admiralty practitioner appeared before Judge'" Hough to . argue a motion for the discharge of a bankrupt. "It seems strange," said the judge, "to see a. maritime lawyer representing a bankrupt." ; i .■■ : , s ■ . ' . . "Not at all," replied the witty advocate; "if your Honor will glance over the record, m this case, you: will find that so far as his finances are concerned, my client is entirely at sea." STUTTERING MONEY. "Conan Doyle," remarked the purveyor of literary gossip, "gets a dollar a word from his publishers for everything he writes." ' "Gee !" exclaimed the maiden with the dreamy eyes, waking from her brown study. If I were m liis place I'd have a hero that stuttered."— New York Life. .* ■■■ V * „..■ ♦ . . 4 "She is very wealthy?" "Very."' . . •'-.,• "Money lefi to Ler?" , "No; she is the author of a book entitled 'Hints to Beautiful Women.'" "I presume all the beautiful women m the country purchased it?" ; „ "No; but ali^the plain women did." * * - .- * * The Remedy.— Tramp : "Madam, I. am suffering from, indigestion." Lady: "Why, I'm sorry. What can I do -to help you?" : Tramp : "Madam, , you can cure me instantly by giving iiie sometliing to digest." , .-' ; r • ■ •,.••••■'.*.'.■ ' ! Her (sighing) : "Oh, I met such a lovely, polite man to-day !" Him : "Where was that?" Her: "On the street. I must have been carrying my umbrella carelessly, for he bumped his eye- into ■it. And, I said, 'Pardon Hie,' and he said, 'Don't mention it — I have another' eye left.' "—Cleveland. Leader. ': ♦ '•' ' ♦ ■ '* ', »• '• " . ' Magistrate: What is your occupation? .Prisoner: I am an employer of labor, your Honor. . Magistrate-: Well, what do you do? Prisoner:,! find employment for such (gentlemen ias yourself and prison officials^ . V Sentence : Six months' hard. . / "■'*'■*" ' * * - : Jailer : "That: convict is what we call a trusty. We caix nut him at anything and be sure he won't try to escape." Visitor: "How remarkable!" \ Jailer': "Oh, I don't know, he's m for bigamy."