THE RESULT.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10830, 24 November 1906, Page 7 (Supplement)

THE RESULT.

"When Mark Twain was a boy at school m Hannibal," said a veteran Missourian, "the schoolmaster once seb the class to writing a composition on 'The Result of Laziness.' , "Young Clemens, .at .the end of half an hour, handed 1 m as his composition a clank slate." A QUICK SOLUTION. A gentleman, after eating a good dinner, said to the waiter : "I am. sorry 1 cans gjy c yoaa tip, but I find I have onra^pftt enough money to pay your bilL'^^o ...... The waiter tejkeaHhe bill hurriedly. "Just let me'l&l'it up &gajj£j^sfr, he muttered. •.' ..-*->-^"/- --$$ THE CEMETEH^-^ In anflAtlanta cemetery -dne tomb bears at'/fthe top "Helen Vance, Wife of Harold Vance. 1854. I await yon." Then beneath, is carved, "Harold Vance. 1889. Here am I." At the base of the inscription some one ha 3 written : ' "He took his time." SOAIF MISTAKE. A silly little lady had a husband, a lover ot gaiety, who waa inclined to neglect his wife. This lady, wh.'e spending the winter m Devonshire, said one day at the postoffice : "Dear me, what a silly mistake you postoffice people -have made." "How, muilim'" asked the clerk. "Why, ' sho explained with a titter, "here 1 have just gotten a letter frcm my 'husband, who is working hard m London, and the envelope is postmarked Mr-nte Carlo " WHY HE THOUGHT SO. A- Christian Scientist came across a small hoy sitting under an apple-tree, doubled up with pain. ".My little man," he said, "what is the matter?" "I ate some green apples," moaned the boy, "and, oh. how I ache. "You don't ache," answered the follower of Airs Eddy, "you only think so. ' The boy looked up m astonishment st such a statement, and then replied m a most positive manner : "That's all right; you may think so, but I've got inside information." A NEAT RETORT Henry Ward Bee'cher once said, apro pos on begging-letter writers : "I receive) hundreds a month, but one which came the other day beat anything I had evor read before. Thejipplici„on was from a woman, and it rati something like this : Please send n)e fifty dollars by return of post, otherwise I shall be forced to Dart w&hxsgioiior.' I just wrote back : 'My dedrsTnadam — I am m receipt of your letter of the 18th inst., and m reply would state that if you don't put a greater yalua on your honor than fifty c"oll.-.rs it doesn t seem to me to be .ii much consequence, whether you part witli it or not."