IN BLUEBEARD'S CLOSET.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume XXXIII, Issue 10638, 14 April 1906, Page 1 (Supplement)

IN BLUEBEARD'S CLOSET.

(By Virginia Woodward Cloud.) The letters of the printed slip stared up at 'me, where it had fallen upon the desk,and my hands lay nervelessly in my lap. The appalling . stillness seemed a fitting background for the words, and somewhere, on the darkness of that black | night, a bell struck ten. I had been very ill ; my baby girl had lived only a few hours, and afterward, convalescence was so slow and weakness so prolonged, that when the nurses left, the mirror showed me habitually the sombre eyes of a wan face, whose hair was too heavy for its head, and whose white kimono was miles too large. Max did not like black. Few men do; in their more robust contact with the world they experience less need for an outward sign of inward seclusion. This had proved something of a grievance, but perhaps the continual care of self, during illness, makes for self-absorption, and who, even the most selfish, has not known irritation to be trouble, provocation to grow into pain, and one's lovo to become one's cross, under the exaggerated lens of the imagination. Twice a week Max attended a meeting of county commissioners in a neighbouring borough, and these evenings I had customarily spent alone. It seemed quite inevitable and right while I was well, but now I felt myself a lonely and somewhat neglected wife; yet in the saner moments of health I knew that no young woman possessed a less neglectful husband. Now, however, several months of illness and .-racked nerves had completed their sad work, and I saw Max torn byanxiety, yet under a strain, day and night, caused by his already heavy practice, combined with the demands of a coming election, in which he had been nominated for a judgeship. I was forced to see him go m the morning, with a quick kiss, and to lie still evening after evening, while he worked and studied alone in the library, with no wife near to respond to an occasional word. I grew to fretting over him, with probably a querulous complaint thrown in about his lack of care for himself. . , j On the morning of this night, of which ] I shall now tell, Max came softly to the bedside after his breakfast to say that he could not return for dinner. "Rundade again, or the old election?' I •IRK fin "A little of both," he said. "I addres a political meeting in the courthouse there to-night, and cannot get home until midnight. How are you to-day, Ever' "Oh, as well as can be expected, 1 answered a little coldly. "One naturally wearies of one's society." "Poor little girl! Never mind," he bent to kiss my cheek, "Dr Jim says you will be out soon now. Then you'll enjoy your friends more than ever." He went out softly and I hid my face in the pillow. Oh, Max, Max! Could you not know that I wanted only one in the world)' Then, with the foolish absorption of that selfishness which will not allow anything to come between it and the object of its devotion, I cried silently until Johanna brought my breakfast tray. But Johanna, the best and most reserved of Swedes, was accustomed to my tears, which did not appeal to her as u tragedy. Another long, listless day was dragged through, with self too languid for occupation, or for interest in my boy's prattle when he returned from the kindergarten with Greta. There was no friend for whom I wished to send; a .ore heart and depressed spirit find no solace in compulsory conversation. At last when bedtime came, and Johanna was knitting before the nursery fire, I dragged myself into the library with the vague intention of resting in Max's great chair until he came— a proceeding which would have met with a firm denial on the part of Johanna. There was a low fire and I was looking at the clock, and wondering at the untidiness of the desk, which no one, except myself, ever dared set straight. A masculine hand had thrust the papers aside with ruthless haste ; briefs, letters, packages, foolscap. I grew interested in arranging them. The drawers were usually locked and kept for Max's private* papers. Now a key was sticking in one which I opened and' proceeded tc .nake tidy in a desultory way. Several pack ages of letters and papers lay there, and on one my own name stared up at me, in my husband's clea'r handwriting : "The Duruth Case." Under its rubber band was slipped a newspaper cutting, so that I could not fail to read it : Privately, on the 12th instant, by the Rev. August Dalrymple, Alice H. Lee to Maxwell Duruth. That was all. "Alice H. Lee to Maxwell Duruth, my lips were forming the words .-UdJy over and over, and then "Eve Lessing to Maxwell Duruth." My hands moved over the package of letters beside it. They were all in the immature writing of a very young woman, and I opened, them, as if looking on at one who a short time before had been myself. They were all dated from Helmuth City, Montana, nearly fifteen years before. Fifteen yea,rs ! A whole lifetime in which Max had lived before he knew me; whereas, my life commenced only after I knew him. This came to me atterwards; then my brain was working with strange mechanism, but fiercely and determined to know all. They were profoundly devoted letters and all commenced, "My dearest husband,'' or "My darling Max,"— words which I read with so strong a sense of solitary posessorship that afterward I recalled how drily she laughed— that one who sat ' reading them, opening letter after letter with cold, steady hands and brain of lire. She told him that she loved him so, the woman who signed herself "Your devoted wife, Alice Duruth." She implored him not to leave her, that if he would remain separated Irom her not to make her divorce him; that she would always forgive ' him. Forgive him! Apparently Maxwell Duruth had not been a model of constancy in his first youth. She who sat reading these letters put them back with precision, locked the drawer and slightly disarranged the desk: Then she dragged from the room that which seemed the dead self, of happy Eve Duruth. With each slow, halting Btep, a hand against the wall for support, her dry, unconscious lips repeated, "His wife— Alice Duruth." She closed her door, that dazed, benumber creature, and went to the light as one battling through the dark toward understanding, and tlie.ie met the. white death-mask ot her own lace staring at her with wide eyes of horror. Then she spoke aloud because she understood. "She said separated— only separated < — only separated, lf she is Alice Duruth, who are you? Why, you are only Eve Lessing!'' Then how she laughed as she fell into the darkness !

I lay upon the bed with Dr. Jim's fingers on my pulse and Johanna saying, while she bathed my head *. "I come to know if madam will go to bed, and she lie here on the floor like the death. So frightened am I that 1 make that Greta tell you quick by the telephoon !" Dr. Jim was giving me a spoonful of stimulant.

"That's right, Mrs Duruth! Max will be along presently. _ou stayed up too long and grew a trifle weak, 1 fancy." Max ! It all came flooding back, that icy wave of fear which had enveloped me, and I seized Dr. Jim's hand. "Don't tell him 1 Not -to-night. I only fainted. Don't tell him!" Dr. Jim looked disapproval. He was Max's trusted friend, but when I persisted he consented at Jast and left me to Johanna, after a word of warning. Johanna moved about grumbling softly over madam who took so little care ol themselves, and by-and-bye I feigned sleep. Fortunately extreme physical weakness brings its stupor-like repose of exhaustion, and the night was a benumbed blank of semi-conscious slumber. In the morning I aroused to hear Max's voico at tho door and Johanna's murmur of refusal because madam slept. For the first time I was glad not to meet his eyes. Then came the closing of the front door, and I lay weakly striving to grasp that which had befallen me. 1 dully pieced together tho facts of the case and endeavoured to look at them clearly. Incredible as it appeared to me, my husband had been married before and had not told me. That this marriage was unknown to his friends in the East, and that I had come with my father to live in the samo town with Max only a low years before our marriage accounted for my ignorance of it. This was the lighter side, albeit the terrible one of deceit. The darker side was that there had been apparently only a separation, not a divorce, from the woman he had married, and there was no reason to suppose she had died. Women did not die so easily, I told myself ; that blessed release remained for little children and tho aged. Had this terrible knowledge come to me during a time of physical strength, I would havo donicd my own sight; have clung tenaciously to that which, l knew to be Max's high code of honor — the honor, upon which my faith was fastened, my soul was set and my earthly house of love was built. But the suffering of extreme weakness, especially that of weakened nerves, is prone to be a desperately credulous, self-absorbed suffering, because of the lack of physical combativeness. Only one thing I saw clearly, that I must rally all my little will power toward immediate recovery, for my boys sake to meet and face clearly that which ' lay beforo. To* my over-wrought imagination.uncontrollcd by physical strength, only tho extreme result seemed possible ; I 6a -.v the terrible interview with Max, the certain separation to. come, the

death of happiness ancl the blight upon my boy's life. Then ancl there I commenced a hand-to-hand fight with weakness. When I rang with more than usual energy and ordered my bath, Johanna was radiant. "He will be coming again," she said, always designating Max by the pronoun. "He will know how madam is before he go away some more — the poor man ; 'tis thin he grows." A sharp pain struck through me, but I stifled it, determined to harden my heart. Hour by hour 1 would gain strength and shorten the time of this terrible dumb torture; When Max's step sounded later this fictitious energy died and 1 lay passively on the divai. as if asleep. Presently he stooped ana kissed my cheek. "Eve,' sweetheart, I am called away again to-day, but I cannot go without knowing how you are." "Better," I said. "How long will you be gone?" "Several days, I fear. Igoon to Southgate and address another meeting at Winland. This will bring me back in time only for the election. I wish it were over, dear. Then I shall see my wife again." "His wife ! I shivered and closed my eyes again as if tired. "I don't want to go, you understand that, don't you, Eve?" His hand touched my hair helplessly as he waited. "Oh, yes, of course," I said languidly. I thought Max sighed as ho went out, but I told myself that it was better so; it would be easier later on if I widened the breach each time. But what it meant in reality I cannot put into words. When he was gone I let my wild hour come with stormy, inevitable tears. That afternoon Johanna thought I slept late. Afterward I caught her clear eyes upon me with something of trouble in them, and at night, while warming my negligee before the fire her face showing pink and comely Over the top, she said abruptly : "Madam will be well soon now for* him? They iss not,like us, those mens," she added to herself, yet 1 knew that to one of her reserve the speech was difficult. Her face turned ■ from me. as she mended the fire. "I did hai' one once in Sweden." "You were married, Johanna?" I asked indifferently!, all considerations having diminished''' in value before my own present experience. "Not so much," said Johanna calmly; "not like madam. Oh, no, I 'was. only promised to be. But I wass a girl of foolishness then." She proceeded to take my slippers off and rub my feet. "He wass drowned, that man," said Johanna, as if stating a commonplace occurrence. "He wass of the large fisheries, and they haf the hard life — those fishermens, and mostly drown." "Oh, Johanna !" I breathed, yet fearing for my own selfish sake to let human feeling speak, in sympathy lest it should render me weaker. But no change passed over her placid face; the waves had broken there so long before that now the habit of stolid control could not be disturbed. "But yes, he wass .goot, too, like madam's man that iss so goot to madam," "Why did you not marry him, Johanna?" I asked mechanically. •She shook her head. "I wass that girl of. foolishness that wass angry with hard anger for that he gave some beads to that Katrinka Grosland before he sailed once. Yet he neffaire look at that Katrinka Grosland after. Oh, it wass a foolishness to let him go with my anger upon him, for he went sorrowful, and then he drowned— that man."

"Oh, Johanna!" I whispered helplessly again.

"Madam must haf her beef tea," said Johanna briskly, but at the boudoir door she turned, her face a shade pinker with the effort. "They are not us — those mens. They are not wpmans. They go and go and see many people and catch many fish. We womans we stay here and wait and wait for them and loife them — those mens."

When the door closed there came a great longing for Max which submerged all resolution as it did a thousand times during that week of fear and doubt. Again the temptation shook me to leave all as it was, covered over, concealed, hidden, ignored, with life moving smoothly above that secret of deceit like the tide over dark wreckage — and with Max still mine.

Aye, that was the crux ! Was he mine ? Could I go on feigning ignorance, pretending, growing more false day by day when for his sake ancl that of the child, I so longed to grow fairer and better? It was impossible. That could do so seemed an abnormal thing. Yet I told myself over and over I had seen it with my own eyes. I determined, however, not to face Max with my discovery until after the election, which was only a few days off now, for that any trouble should handicap him at that time was not to be i thought of. • ' Therefore I harboured every little gain of strength, much to Johanna's delight; but Dr Jim was not so credulous, ite looked upon my feverish effort with keen, perplexed eyes, and the day of Max's expected 'return I heard the doctor's motor-horn in the street, and he ran up to ask how I fared. I was working upon one of the boy's white dresses, and he took a chair opposite, watching me. 'Presently he said : ' \ ' "Max will win, Mrs Duruth. It's a sure .thing. "_es? I am glad of that," I said politely. "_ou did not care for him to run?" he asked suddenly. "I? Why, yes. Why shouldn't Max have been nominated? Do you know any good reason?" . \ The work lay in my lap now, and perhaps there sprang to my eyes that intense fear and apprehension with which each moment was weighted now. He watched me as he said : - l

"Not much! Max deserves all we can give him in that respect. You have a husband to be proud of. ' See here"— he broke oft suddenly — "I don't like the way you look lately. As soon as the election is over Max must take you right away. I fancy you haven't had any too much of each other's society lately?"

I replied with some effort, and Dr Jim replied a jesting remark as he sprang up, but I felt that he saw the flame leap to my pale face and suspected the worm at the root of being. His call was followed by one from Max's mother, whose purpose was -obvious.

"I hope you are doing all you possibly can to get well, Eve," she said. "A wife has much responsibility in sustaining her husband's political position, and there will be more entertaining for you to do soon, you know. Your illness has been a great tax upon him at this time." 1 assented sadly, but too absorbed by the life-issue at stake to be resentful.

That night I put on a gown which had suited me; borrowing that which we know as the moral support of clothes, and went down to the dining-room for the first time, having ordered dinner somewhat earlier. This, I fancied, would aid me in evading the private interview with Max. The gown was pitifully large and the rings I slipped on were those of my girlhood, and none which he had given me.

When he arrived, I was lying in a great chair ,and strove to respond to his words of glad surprise, giving my cheek while he bent to kiss me. A shade of perplexity lay in his eyes, as he stood before the fire, looking upon me as he told me about his trip.

"I'm not in trim for dinner," he said, "but it's so good to havo you downstairs that I don't want to miss a moment of it. There will be several men to see me after dinner, I fear. But all that will be over, soon now."

I rang for dinner to be served, and forced myself to reply easily while striving to keep him interested inpersonally, all the wliile knowing that my manner was artificial ancl that he watched me with growing perplexity, Conscious of a change which could not be accounted for now by the extremest weakness. He could not fail to detect that I was determinedly bright and impersonal, not with the manner one yields to one's heart's dearest. After dinner, Max said: "Come up to the library before anyone calls, that 1 may see you for a while." Suppose we stay here, I ventured. It has been quite an effort for me to come down." He looked disappointed and the next hour was an ehortf ul one, for having grown to consider my illness he did not ask me abruptly what it meant — that cool wave dividing us as clearly to my eyes as if it had been " the green ribbon that shone so fair." When the visitors wero announced I bade him good night and went up to lock my door. Then I lay as exhausted as if the fight with self had been one of physical combat. Fortunately, for the next twenty-four hours, Max's whole strength was required for the business at hand, and surrounded by the. excitement attendant upon the election, he probably attributed my manner to the vagaries of convalescence. But whereas before my illness every step of the way would have been accompanied by my vivid interest, he now returned to sit and read alone; for all the while I kept before my inner vision that fatal line : "-Your devoted wife, Alice Duruth." * ,

Back of the maimed pride, the torture of wounded love, the wild stifled hope, there sprang to life the madness of jeA ousy. Perhaps I am setting down that which another would modify, or call by a gentler name; but I believe all great issues to be wrought of the same human forces, that all great love embraces the same elements, the same pain or weakness, in greater or lessor proportion, according to the capacity of the nature whose product it is, and I knew that my crucifixion was not only the consciousness of my husband's deception, but the koowlege of that other woman who had peen his " devoted wife, Alice Duruth."

Wo may theorize and think us brave, but cowardice lies in our love, even as

in it lies the root of such heroism as we possess. On the afternoon of the election — after which I had planned to confess to Max my discovery — I found myself suddenly cold with the cowardice, ancl weak with fear of loss. The suspense had worn upon me until I could not endure the ticking of the clock. In my heart, I knew that it was the cry of hope which refused to die, and of faith which denied tho assertion of my own .-sight.

street.

At four o'clock, while pacing the floor, [ suddenly Hew to the telephone; something told me that I should go mad without action. Trembling, I called up Dr Jim. "I must go out," I said. "I must seo /ou at once, and am going to the oflice. Oon't refuse me, for I shall do it anyhow." "Good," he called without hesitation. "Come on. I'm here for an hour." To Johanna's amazement, I ordered the motor-car and made ready for the street. "But madam was not in the cold yet !" she expostulated. "Johanna, take care of the boy!" I said, and wrapped myself in furs. Whirling to Dr Jim's office, my heart beat wildly, although my own intention was unformulated and vague. I knew that one could not go to another and question him about one's husband, but Max had said once that Dr Jim knew more about him than any man on earth did, ancl he might know if she were dead, this Alice Duruth. Mine was more the action of a harassed* creature who flies to the strength* of another in the face of that which it cannot meet alone. "It was evidently a case of kill or cure," said the doctor, as he drew a chair to the fire for me. "I suppose Johanna is ready to see my finish. But you needed company on this strenuous day, didn't you?" I nodded, fearing yet to trust words. "Max will win in about half an hour," he went on easily. "You have known Max a long time," I said. "Since we wore boys. We've breasted many a wave together. I confess that I was more than a little jealous of you, Mrs Duruth." How could Igo on? Yet I was madly determined to do so. My lips were dry as I said : "Did you go West with him long ago?" "West?" Dr Jim shook his head. "To Helmuth City?" I murmured almost inaudibly. "Oh, you merfn about the Duruth case ! No, but Max worked like a beaver over her — poor woman." The oppression of fear was as a cold hand holding my heart still as I leaned forward. "Who was she?" I asked faintly. "A Miss Lee, I believe, before she married Max Durftth. Nice little thing, too." § "Max Duruth!" I was striving through a thick cloud which enveloped me. "Max, Junior, we called him. He was one cousin, however, who was no ornament to the name, but our Max stuck by him like a brick until he died — poor chap ! Hello!"

I had struggled to my feet, a blank mist before mo, and I grasped the doctor's arm; but he put me back ancl ran for a phial and glass. "Here! Take this! By Jove!" he exclaimed. But with the tide of realization my brain cleared and my heart commenced to beat. I got to my feet again. "The car! Quick!" I gasped. "I must go to Max at once!"

Just what my face, in its rush of color [ and its conflict of emotion, told I did not care, but made for the door. Perhaps the doctor thought me a bit distraught, or perhaps some occult divination caused a glimmering of the truth, for he stifled an ejaculation and got me to the sidewalk in a trice. I, who had not taken a rapid' step in months, fairly sprang into the motor-car. "Home," I called; and to the doctor, " I'll be better now." I left him gazing after me, but if it were with a perception of the truth no one ever knew it from Dr. Jim. Tears were rolling down my face, but a tide of strength, the strength of certainty, seemed flooding my heart. I had awakened from a nightmare, in which l had experienced the impossible. It was winter twilight now, and I callto the chauffeur to stop at a florist's and bring me a bunch of American Beauties. When he had done so I held them to my face, longing to absorb their ' sweetness md loveliness to win back something of fairness for Max's sake. At the house I flew up the steps, but was met by the man with, a note, at the door. "Mr Duruth will not return for dinner, madam," he said. I signalled to the chauffeur and read Max's curt note : Dear Eve : I shall stay at .the club until the returns are in. So do not expect me to dinner. M. It was as keen as a sharp wind upon the warm glow of expectation. In a moment I was back in the car, directing to be driven to the club. Dismay, fear, grief, were overwhelming me, and with a tumult of self -accusation I knew that I had brought it all upon myself. I had been so unresponsive, so unkind that Max had thought I did not care enough to have him home that night of all nights.

At the club door I sent the man in, and Max .came .hurrying out at once in alarm, but when he saw my face over the roses a look of such gladness and relief shone in his that I reached my hand to draw him in as he sprang beside me.

'•'Why, Eve ! And roses, too ! Isn't it too cold for you? Why did you come yourself, dear? You could have telephoned me."

"Oh, Max !" It was dark now and I clung to him sobbing. "I could not stay away a minute longer. I lovo you so! I love you, Max !"

"Home, quick !" he called to the chauffeur as the roses fell between us.

And something that was not cowardice told me not to tell him; that to inflict upon one's dearest that pain which is wrought of our own vain weakness is only selfishness.

"Oh,Max, I've been so wicked ! Forgive me ! Only forgive mo and don't ask me why !" I sobbed. But his answer was not in words, and as we reached home ho swept me out and up the steps in his arms and back into our house of love.

While somewhere outside a newsboy was calling : "Maxwell Duruth wins by a large majority."