NOTHING IN THE PAPERS.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VIII, Issue 1246, 14 February 1881, Page 2

NOTHING IN THE PAPERS.

(By " Civis " in the Witnm.) I select two or three from last night's Dunedin Evening Star : —

WANTKD, Gentleman who lent spectacles at Temperance Hall last evening to call.— D. Ferguson, Albert Street.

To me such an advertisement as this is as irritative as a conundrum. Ifhij did this gentleman lend spectacles at the Temperance Hall last evening? And why, having lent them, is he " wanted " to call at a particular address in Albert street ! To construct a theory of these borrowed spectacles is at least as good an intellectual amusement as solving the acrostics and other ingenuities of a family newspaper. Here is another curiosity : —

TJESPECTABLK Girl (12) is anxious to Nurse* ■ LV Baby ;no wagvs required.— Address " W.J.," Star Office.

What an angel of a girl ! "Is anxious to nurse a baby !" and "no wages required !" — the merit of the action being its own reward. The juvenile philanthropist will not be long, surely, in finding a sphere of operations. Here is one more : —

"DOARD AND UKSlOKXC'K required bj Gentleinai -^ in musical family ; Mr. Bynj;'a parish preferred.— " 1,," Star Otticv.

This advertiser, it will be seen, contrives to indicate his tastes both in art and theology. He recalls the advertiser I quoted some abort time since, who offered " respectable apartments, within 10 minutes' walk of an evangelical ministry. " Let us hope he offers more substantial remuneration than the young man described by Mr. Spurgeon, who wanted " board and lodging in a quiet family, where his Christian example would be accepted as a sufficient recompense." I hardly think that anyone who gives attention to advertisement literature will complain that there is " nothing in the papers." !