FREAKS OF THE TELEGRAPH

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VII, Issue 1175, 18 November 1880, Page 2

FREAKS OF THE TELEGRAPH

Correspondents of the Press when they; use the telegraph are in the habit, for economical reasons, of dispensing with articles, prepositions, and conjunct tions, while punctuation is perforce out of question. .Their communications, consequently, are not always to be read aright at sight ; and should the telegraph clerk, from haste or ignorance, or malice, complica^matters .by mistakes of commission, or;: onfission," the result is likely to be more exciting than pleasing to the editor, or his sub. who has — at the shortest notice— to ;make sense out of nonsense, knowing if he should happen to blunder somebody will certainly let the public know it. When Mr. Reuter/ desiring to make theeditor of the Java Bode acquainted •with the fact that Mr. Brand had been : nominated to the vacant Speakership put the thing thus, " Proposed to Brand Speaker." It is hardly surprising that the journalist, in setti.ig the latest news ■ from England before his readers gravely stated that it was proposed to brand the ■ Speaker of the House of Commons ; wisely leaving them to divine the object of the operation, m • "■ When the news came of the revolution 1 in Turkey and the deposition of Abdul Aziz,; Queen Victoria, it is said, lost no. time' intervening in his behalf, . by telegraphing to Constantin jple and expressing- her hope hope that' the ex-Sultan would not be subjected tq any violence '■' or ill-tceatment". " Soignez le bien " — Take £6od care of him said her Majesty ; but the cruel telegraph made her say, ■• le bien "—Bleed him well; and how they bled - liirn all the world knows. The' story is not impossible. In his last annual report, the PostmasterGenfcral owns that a papr . T^orn an, .telegraphing to arelative/M^Mary ia bad," had her message rendered, "Mary is dead ;" and that a pleasure party wishing to advise their friends at home of their safety by the assurance that they had "Arrived all. right;" scandalised the anxious ones with "the announcement, r arrived all tight." A somewhat suspicious feat of transmutation was accomplished by an American operator for the benefit of a trader, who fortunate enough to overtake an .absconding cleik, and obtain full yeslitution from the seemingly repentant flifef, telegraphed to his wife : "Found Galusha, hope better- things " ' She, reading, " Found gal shall elope and get her things," took the next train to the scene of action. A noble lord, as proud'and fond as a man should be of his beautiful young wife, was' just about rising to speak in a debate, when a telegram; was put into his hands. He read it r left the House, jumped into a cab, drove to Charing Cross, and took the train to Dover. Next day he returned home, rushed into Ijjis wife's, room, and finding her there ..qpbraided the . astonished lady in ho ,iseasuj.'ed terms. She protested her : ignorance pf having done anything ib offend him; „ • , : -. a [; ;. .' -M ..' M'^heu._w^y»t did you mean by ybiu* ' , '..tf legr^rn ].!'. he' aske& >. X;k'• ■ x /^/.Meap'?i-. ; What I said of coursel'l' talking about?" I^^ ypursejfj'^said he> -o M* "2 fife- y&sj}—l flee ''-—• to JDp.ver straight. j?*ray for me." For the, moment words. would not doihe ; then/after a merry nt.of laughter, ;tlj.|L.'suspeoted wife quietly ' remarked : ' 'Km,' those dreadful telegraph people !. No wonder you are out bf ..your mind, dear. I telegraphed :fr' l tea with Mrs...—— , hi ' ©over-street. Stay fcr me.' "M .".,... . .'* & ' ': . .