MR. PIGWEED'S EXPERIENCE.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VII, Issue 1135, 30 September 1880, Page 2

MR. PIGWEED'S EXPERIENCE.

Mr. Pigweed has made a terrible time of it. He resolved to set a pistol in his safe, before leaving home for the summer, so that when anybody opened the door of the receptacle the pistol would be discharged. However, it puzzled him a good deal to find a way to set the pistol with the door shut, and if he set it with the door open there was no way to make the thing go off when the door should be opened again. So he finally set up the pistol inside the safe and cocked it, and then putting his hand inside closed the door all \>nt a crack just sufficient to admit his w.ist. Then he fixed a loop from the door to the pistol trigger, so that when the door was opened any wider the pistol would be discharged. Then' he attempted to draw out his hand, but found that while he had left the door sufficiently open to accomodate his wrist, it wouldn't let out his hand without being opened wider, and that would discharge the pistol into his stomach. There was nothing to do but to take off the loop and put on a little longer one, and when he attempted to do that, he found that though he had been able to attach the loop he couldn't reach quite far enough to detach it again. Then the awf ulness of his position came upon him. He was imprisoned and could only release himself at the price of • a shot in the stomach. He began to scream wildly for help, and at last help came, and the first man who arrived was about to yank the door open before Pigweed could stop him, and it gave the victims's nerves a terrible shock. Finally they got smiths and tools and went to work to get in at the back of the safe and remove the pistol, aud they had to work very carefully so as not to explode the pistol by the jar. It was an all day job, but finally after Pigweed had nearly died from exhaustion, and his hair had begun to turn gray from fright, they got at the pistol and found that when he put it in there Pigweed had forgotten to load it, so he might have yanked his hand out at the time. And though Pigweed was terribly fatigued, he aroused himself sufficiently to give the grandest exhibition of profane discourse hf;u'd since the Graut men left Chicago.

The New York correspondent to the Ironmonger writes : — ' ' It is not likely that a very large general assortment of American machinery and manufactures will be made in Melbourne, but Mr. Thomas R. Pickering, United States Commibsioner, says the showing of agricultural implements will be the finest ever made. There will also be a large display of silver plate, watches and clocks, firearms, axes, and edge-tools, locks and builders hardware, coinage materials, printing presses and typefoundry materials, sewing machines, soales, carpenters' tools, carwheels, lamps, stamped tinware, seamless metal goods, taps, steam pumps, saws and portable farm engines, The total number of American exhibitors who have already secured space is about 400, and further applications will be received up to the end of the present month. It is probable, therefore, that some of your manufacturers will have to share with those of this country the honors they would be glad to monopolise in the Australian markets." At the Carrick-on-Suir, Scottish athletic sports, held on Monday, July 5, P. Davin cleared 6ft 2}in in the running high jump. His wonderful feat is certified to by the gentlemen who officiated as manager, judges &c, and there seems no doubt of the correctness of the performance. In 1879, at Kilkenny, the same athlete cleared 6 1^ his highest previous jump being 5 ll in, on two occasions. His last performance beats M. J. Brooks' best on record jump by one-fourth of an inch made at London, England, April 7, 1879. Before a Nevada witness goes on het stand he unbuckles ancl removes two revolvers and a bowie knife, and the lawyer calls him Mr. So-and-So,and is very careful not to refer to anything unpleasant which has ever happened in the witness's history.