ON LYING PROVERBS.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VII, Issue 1099, 19 August 1880, Page 2

ON LYING PROVERBS.

[Bsr Snider.] ■ ' . ; The Editor of this, paper, was [called' -to.; account the other day, because he was impudent enoughvto challenge the truth of a proverb. .It was in respect of the -": Be martuis nil nisibonum " business, •which means, being freely translated, that no one is to say on any account whatever, but what- is. good of those who are dead, and 6f course in spirit-hind. lam one withi the Editor, and don't believe in all proverbs any more than' he does. Show me a- proverb, and I'll show you what is not true including a , good: deal of-bumkum/ which is taken as ; the genuine article.' ' I'll take any proverb 'that comes handiest from a book which is before , me. Here's pro- 1 .verb number one : — '* " Uninvited guests sit On thorns." — Do they? So far the reverse ; quite the I contrary — that's my humble opinion. ; There was a fellow called at my house last week, who was certainly not invited. .He didn't sit on thdrns a bit;' He sat on my gpring-bdttom sofa. The whisky was on, the table.- He said he liked td see a pleasant, comfortable home- like mine ; and he didn't mind -if aedid.\He..helpedThimself. Nearly half" filled a tumbler of ' whisky, and dropped in some water ; but hot much. Swallowed a good deal of it, and said it was rather too stiff for his palate. ,' Added a little more water .and said, he looked towards me. ; yAsked. what I thought of ■ things in general, and what. } I . paid, a 'xjord for, firiiw.6od ? Took" another" pulK out of the. 'tffmbMr,'' and" said-he had "drowned the miller, by jove." He. piitr in more ; whisky, 1 ■ : and asked? ins ! how my girl was getting ; on in -the teaching busmess ; 'at school. He thought there was too much, learning, going:; on altogether. High art in education was being considerably overdone. That was his ' view of the matter. ■ It gave the same education to a washerwoman's son as it did to the son of a gentleman, or a--professional man. Washerwomen's sons would be going in for the genteel line of business where white, shirts well starched wks expected, and pearl stlids were the thing. Hoped my: girl' wouldn't get proud. Thought his whiskey would stand a little more, water. Tried it, and found ,he was 'mistaken and so put in more whiskey. '. iHe me another thousand ay year^ 7 and finished, ,the .tumbler. He : ''had come he said 'to know whether I would be kiiul enough to lend, him two ' twopenny stamps, as jhe] did not- want, to . go . tramping all the way down town at that time of niglife^- f/ He ; was -sbrry jl had' not got two 'stamp's in my house.- Supposed, he must do without them; ■■ What might my piano have dost/ and had I to pay it'dpwn in a lump', or by instalments? •■W ondered where he cpiild borrow two stamps. The whisky was fine but almost too. insinuating.." How much a gallon I pay for it I If I didn't mind he ; thpught he would help himself to a little more arid helped himself <juite unasked. Then he went away informing me, as I opened the door, that it was a fine night, and that it was the season of the year to look for meteors. . ; Now then— how about, the truth of the proverb that the ■" uninvited; sit upon thorns'?"' ; My visitor appeared.to sit in clo.ver. That was about my. idea of him. If any one sat upon thorns, I rather think I; was Tthe-rnvm '"being to witness, the disappearance^of..my.,whisky, and the artless, innocent freedom in which my : ' visitor indulged 'himself at . my expensei Another proverb— i , " Jfoerythirig. that happens in-: this worM' is'f or ihe'best, "-^-That's hot true— • it!s alcrammer. A fellow come to me some : time ago and got the loan of £10. He filed three weeks after, and 1 lost my money* ' How waß that' ail for the best, I should like to k'nbw 1 It might be best for. the man who got the money ; but it wasn't best for me. There's a fellow with a wife and babiesi He is walking along the footpath when his foot, slips, and he : dislocates . ;his ankle- : bone. He is carried home, and is laid upfor'soma weeks. He loses his billet, inconsequence gets into debt ; cannot pay, and gets' a summons ; is sold off, and his family and himself are miserable, r How is : everything fbr the best in. this •case? That's what I should like to be informed upon. , A man I knew, who bought ten shares in the Caledonians, arid realised all 'he had to do it. They went up, and he could have doubled his money. Thought they would go higher, and so held for an advance. Caledonians fell to nothing, and he was smothered. : How's that:fori best?. That .proverb's moonshine and; nothing short of it. " Use time as tlwugh you Jcnew its vakieS'— X < always do this, but find it don't answer. 1 I know the value of time, and so , ask; a man I owe money , to to draw on me at three months. He draws, and I' accept. The three months comes round, and feeling the value of' time, I ask him to .renew.: He objects. . I say to him " JJse^time as though, you knew its . yalijfy", \ He. says he doesn't see it." ' Time's money/, and its the money he waritSi *'' I ''back- 'my request ; up' 'with another proverb. I say, ; " Roinewwas.. not .built in a^ay." He wants to^kn^. what that's got^o dp with my bill. I'm getting ftoll.,of proverbs by this tinref^l^ tell him ' is a virtue. " -, JE£e< says patience be deed. I say it's^a pity he should- give way to swearkig..- --" An oath never clinched an argument." Mv : friend severely asks me what I am going to do with my bill. I tell him he's got the bill and not me, and that. I know quite well what! would do if he will only hand it over.,. My friend becomes very angry, and I find it necessary to appease him. I employ persuasive language:'; I tell him " There is a time for all things,"^ and how' 1 is the time to renew.- .^Proverbs have no effect on him, and I get a lawyer's letter ne?t day. I know how to use time, and I know its value, biitthe holder of the bill doesn't. So I'don't believe in that proverb; -■;. "■ Here's just another proverb : " Out of sight put _qf, mintf." — That's a fib. What r 'about that ) worthy f ellow\: who : cleared out, of .Gisborne in a Union Company's ship the week before last, leaving a lo.t of little accounts, and not a few big ones' unliquid ated: - That- man's out of sight, but hang me if he's out of mind. He will be remembered' while": life remains. If he had. been an honest: man, brim-full of all, virtues, and paid as he went, he wouldn't; have been much thought about by this time. He is out of ' sight/" but' tradesmen's ledgers will' not soon let him be out of mind. One more proverb, and I am done fo r

the present. This is a Roman one in Latin..: "Ne sutor ultra c?epidam."—. Bein<r translated means " Let tlie.cobbler stick to his last." Now, this is what he; oughtn't to do if he 6an do better; Why;. 'I know-. three fellows who are among the richest 'i'n : the North Island. were each of 'em in the shoe-making line of business, but cut it. One went in for swindling land speculations, and made a : ' pile in "almost ho time.. . Another went into the bottling of Colonial beer, bad brandy, .and. Colonial .distilled spirits, :go|d iov 'delirium iremens, upon ; which he.placed English labels,, indicating^the ''best brands of a : vei-y splendid article. This enterprising being also made a pile. The third man went in for buying mine shares. He rigged the market by rigging the telegraph wires; ' He likewise ;jfiiade ..a pile claim.. Now, if these, three smart 'fellows^ had; stuck to ' their Last, 'where vyoiild they-have been to r day, I should like to enquire 1 Still making and selling bobfis and shoes, perhaps of durable and excellent quality, they might have been counted honest men. Have gone to - church; with : wife and children- of Sun- > days. Have said their prayers at night, and been respected. But not half so respected' and looked up to as-.they.are now., I know one of these -who l'couldgivea cheque for ten thousand pounds rif he liked. He was a good fellow when he , was a snob. : As I heard one who knows him well say — "Now old Grindstone has got rich, he wouldn't give a five-po.und; note -to; save his mother from lihV gallows. " That's the sort of *nrain to get on in this wor.ld,if youplease. ,JLet,..the negct-take care v pf itself., ., If .a man wishes' to getfon its: the last ■.•thing ,he should do, to stick, to his last. Hs-ahould stick at nothiug. '