MISCELLANEOUS.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VI, Issue 820, 27 June 1879, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

Just now they are Having a joke on a compositor who set up the toast : " Woman —without her, man would b ( e a'savage, " and got the stops m the wrong place, and produce : "Woman, without her man, would be a savage." They say that his wife, who was helping* to read the proof, discovered the mistake. A certain lawyer was compelled to apologise to the Court; WitK ' stately C | dignity he rose m hia place and said, i .'' " Your Honor is right, end lam wrongs w as your Honor generally is, " There was a dazed look m the judge's eye, and he hardly knew whether to feel happy or •- fine the lawyer for contempt of court.

" In the second sermon I ever preached from the, text, " A mess, of pottage," I got it " A pot of message/ and the .4- ) worst of it was that I kept repeating the * ~ blunder all through the sermon, to the ! ■ ' intense amusement of the congregation, and some impairment, I fear, of the lesson of the discourse. The devil seemed to be on my tongue, and I spoke d the text wrong, m spitti of myself, almost '^ every time.;. I grew h>t as ,-& iurnaoe }t .- I perspired to t my Jfinge.!^' ends;., my face 'i was like a beet ; and when I came to Xj that awful text I would make a great M pause, fix my. lips light* and then, toniy " intense raortififcation, »ay, ( A pot of „ message I 1 I was m agony. Finally, I ceased to try to prouounce &.. but] only said, 'my text I—pbxhtihg1 — pbxhtihg * W it."— Talmqje. »:.-.-■ - : \' ■ WrfT/JW-i i. ■ A young man with thY plush' of country' -—' life on his' checks feoW btit W oto '-•-** the market yesterday and' entered -a shoe store and said he wauted a pair of shoes for . his wife. '''■ ' T '■ '

♦ • "What number ?" asked foie clerk. . The young husband .scratched his head, looked very much embarrassed and finally said t _

•■<•.' Well, I'ye been marriedjeight months 1 | but this shoe business stumps ms I don't '. hardly believe she weara 'leyeus,, aiid 1; . . . .. don't think ghe kin git iflfo fl^bs.' Ighesft 1 ' ' if we split the difference We'll hit her pretty close.'*! ' ■ • •■•-:

He was given a pair of . eights and after squinting along the solgs he observed: > x < "I guess them'll do^ . She's awful proud I | and I know she'll squeeze into 'em for .111 ' she's worth." '.;„'.

TO TOWN AND OOURTRY,SUBSCRIBERS TO Tl3fc ftERALD.

rpHE Publisher requests that any / JL complaints as to .the. .uon-deliyery / '■„ or the irregular delivery of the Hkbald may be forwarded to Kitn, when they will be immediately attended to. if Country Subscribers would be so\ considerate as to place Receiving Boxes otti<nli«/1 frtV.iioir crnfaa nf ntlf.aifia fan nan

rTIHE undersigned- desires to tender I his sincere thanks to the Commercial firms of Gisborne and the Districts of Poverty Bay, : for the LIBERAL JOB PRINTING SUPPORT he has received at the establishment of the Waka Maon. He desires to acknowledge the obliging manner m which the Manager , of the Povkrty Bay Herald has always treated him, where favors were to be reciprocated. He therefore respectfully asks, that his former customers may TRANSFER THEIR FAVORS to the HERALD Office, where really FIRST-CLASS PRINTING is turned oilt at Exceedingly Low Rates. JAMES GRINDELt, Editor and Manager If^afcrt Maori.