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Poverty Bay Herald, Volume VI, Issue 633, 22 February 1879, Page 3

The Cincinnati Gazette copies this item from an Irish paper : Purse lost; by a poor widow woman who has a sick child containing thirteenshillingdandaletter." And adds : "No wonder the child is unwell." The next item down the column is the Gazette's own and it is aa follows: "Hubert Taylor, aged 83 years, is the father of twenty-five children by three wives seventeen of whom are living." Robert should bo tried for bigamy. A sailor belonging to one of ( her Majesty's .ships, coming on board drunk, was mot by the captain, who, addressing him sternly, said : " What do you mean sir, by being drunk on board ship I I won't have it, sir. And I hear besides that you've been drunk on shore. I won't have it, sir." The inebriated tar steadied himself for a a moment, and looking the captain full in the face, hiccupped out, " Well if a man mayn't . get drunk on board, and mayn't get drunk on nhore, where ia ho to get drunk ?" Adjutant (going his rounds at nighi): " Put out those lights !" [Out go the lights.] Adjutant: "Stop that music!" [Music goes on.] Adjutant (louder): " Stop that music, I say !" Voice (from inside the tent): "It's no good, sic! It's a musical box, and we can't atop it? It will go on for ten minutes more !" Ab a Matinee. — Gentlemen to lady : " I fear ther will be a rush, we sha'nt get in." Lady: "Not get in ! What do you mean? There are veiy few matinees where I ever failed to get in, with perseverance and— this big shawl pin !" People learn wisdom by experience. A man never wakes t up his second baby to see it laugh. When a dealer tells you the stiff, unconfortablerlooking bootsJio wants to sell you are calf -skin, remember 'that a full-grown cow or a bull is calf's kin.