LOCAL AND GENERAL.

Patea Mail, Volume XXXIX, 20 July 1914, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

: Boys' suits ai prices that dofy competition are advertised on the first page of this issue by the Hawera branoh of the N.Z. Clothing Factory.

" Your 'usband 'as a bald 'ed, ain't 'e Mrs Smith?" "Yes, Mr Jones, and 'a do find it that awkward, poor dear—for when 'e washes 'is face 'e 'as to put 'is 'at on 'is 'ead to kuow where 'is face finishes."

A. good idea to keep the legs warm in winter when motoring is mentioned in an English paper. Remove a narrow strip of floorboard, and as soon as the ear , starts, the current of warm air running from the engine will rush through the space, keeping the legs and body warm. A meeting of the Egmont Liberal League was held at Kaponga last week there being a representative attendance. Mr J. Crowley notified the gathering that he could not see his way to coroe forward as Liberal candidate at tha forthcoming election. Two other names were befr re the meeting, but no decision wss arrived at, the meeting being adjourned for a fortnight: The ladies of St. George's Church prepared a very nioo little surprise for the Vicar the. Rev. A. W. Payne, on his return from Wellington last week. During bis absence at the Synod, as the result of a canvass amongst themselves a sufficient sum was collected to enable tbe eleotric light to be installed in every room in the Vioarage, At a meeting of the Vestry held on Thursday, it was decided to convey the hearty thanks of the Vestry to the ladies for their efforts. Outside it was snowing hard, and the tsacher considered it her duty ta warn her charges. " Boys and girls should be very careful to avoid colds at this time," she said solemnly. " I had a darling little brother only seven years old. Ono day ho went out in the snow with his new sled, and caught cold. Pneumonia sat in and in three days he was dead." A hunh fell upon the schoolroom ; then a youngster in the back row stood up and. " Where's his sled ?" A well-known surgeon was imparting fome clinical instruction to half-a-dozen students who accompanied hiui in bis rounds. Pausing at the beside of a doubtful case, he said: "Now, gentlemen, do you think this is, or is not a case for operation ?" One by one the students made their diagnosis, and all of them came to the conclusion that it was not. '• Wall, gentlemen, you are all wrong," said the wielder of the scalpel, '' and I shall operite to-morrow.'' " No, you won't! " exclaimed the patient, as he rose in his bed. " Six to one is a good majority. Gimme my clothes." War correspondent Bennett Burleigh, who died reoently, scored while representing tbe London Daily Telegraph in South Africa. A strict censorship was in foroe when Burleigh seat a couple of seemingly innocent messages. One was to his paper ; "Whitsuntide greetings"; the other to a relative: " Coming homo. Tell Lawaon " (aon of the chief proprietor of the'Daily TolegropH). Tbe editorial staff got its collective brain to work, turned up the "gospel" for Whit Sunday, and read: " Pm»ce I leave with yon. My ponce T give unto you." On that and the private message it was decided to chance . it with the result that the Telegraph was the first to announce that terms of peace had been arrived at.

Laft Choato, a firmer Jiving at Liberty, Missouri, who harnessed his former wife with a pair of mules to the plough, has now found his match. ' Choale, who whipped his first wife as though she were a horse when she fell in the traces, receutly married Bessie Evans, of Kansas City. The second Mrs Choato, who is a powerfully built young woman, put her husband in his place the day after the wedding. The man returned home partly intoxicated and began to break t'.ie furniture. His bride dealt him a blow with her clenched fist and warned him th«fc if he did not behave he would do a little ploughing himself. Then she ordered him to bed at once. He obeyed and since then he peels the potatoes and washes the dishes as his young wife orders him.

Thus the Dominion editorially on tbe Hou James Allen's Bpeech in the opening of tho no-confidence debate : " Seldom indeed, has the House listened to such a convincing and scarifying speech. Sir Joseph Ward's criticisms on finance and on the naval question were net merely answered ; they were t~>rn to tatters and, in, addition tbe financial administration of the Ward Government, and Sir Joseph Ward's own attitude on naval defence received such a handling as they have never done before. Mr Allen covered the Leader of tho Opposition with ridicule by a free use of quotations from that amazing speech which Sir Joseph Ward made before the Imperial Conference in 1911 on the subject of naval defence—a speech which embodied the preposterous proposal for taxing the whole of the white population of the Empire 10s per head in order to build a huge fleet of Dreadnoughts."

Everyone has heard of the Scotchwoman who pulled the communication cord to stop the train because she had dropped a mushroom out of the window (writas " Mercutio,' in the New Zealand Herald), Equally unsuspecting of the storm that was to break on his head was ihe boy who stopped the PaeroaWaihi train last week. He was observed waiting at a flag station at which the " express " stops only if there are passengers to, be taken on or set down. The train was fetjoped, but the boy showed no disposition to leave the station building against which, he had propped himseif • The guard Hsked the boy if he were a passenger, and the lad replied in the negative. " Then why do you stand there and stop the train ?" the guard demanded angrily. •'I didn't 6t~p the train," replied the boy. " I came down to see it go past, and you spoiled everything by pulling up!"

Au exceedingly juteresting addition to the collection of medals iu the Canterbury Museum, and oue which possesses great historical value, is being displayed in the " recent acquisitions " case this week (says the Press). This is a very old bioimi modal, which though somewiiat pitfcail by long exposure to the weather, is btill m excellent state of preservation. The modal was struck to coiuuiHiuorati' l ' Ju second voyage of Captain James Cook with the ships involution and Adventure On the side it bears a representation of those ships, with the m.mes Jiesolutioii aud AiiveT:tiuu on either sid<\ Below is the inscription, '' iSuiled from England March, 1772." On tho reverse side is the head of King George 111., surrounded by the insciiptiou, " George 111., King of Great Britain, Ireland and i'/ance." The metal was found many years ago on the beach of a bay knowu is Massacre Bay, iu one of the A'lai thorough Wounds, by Mr James Jacks hi, yeuior, a well known identity, and ;m old-time whaler, who lives at Ta Awai',-.:, Tory Ohanrcel, Queen Charlotte liouud. Air Jackson had the medal in Ins po-i-'-jK;.;oii for oli years, and through Air citophon Tap]), or Blenheim, and Mr William Wood, of Ohristohurch, has been induced to present ij> to the Museum, For Chronic Cheat Complaints, Woods' Great Peppermint Cure, In 6d 2s 6d

Large entries are ndvoitised in this/ issuo for the Loan and Mercantile Coy's j Kaktirarne* s-*!e ou Monday next, f Au impounding notice is inserted in ' this issm with regard to a red and white / heifyr trespassing on Mr J Dwyer'a farm. i '( The Executive of the Chamber of j Comraeroe are to meet to-morrow night at 7.30 and the Chamber at 8 o'clock.

Recently a lady amateur song-writer sent to a popular actress.vocalist the words of a new song which she had written. The aotress could see nothing attractive in the song, and read the verses to her husband, *' Good heavens ! " he exclaimed, when she had finished, " What's she talking J about ? " " What does she oall it ? " " She ' calls it ■ I Wonder if He'll Miss Me ?'"< was the reply. " Well," said the husband I "if he does he ought never to be trusted with a gun again ! " \ | i, Mr 0. L. Ltmbert, of Drumchapel, has succeeded in building a combination motor car and motor boat. The craft has already undergone successful trials around and oa Loch Lomond. Ashore the vehicle is driven in the normal way | as a motor car, while, when 'in the water the uower i 3 disconnected from the I wheels and applied to a screw propeller at the stern. Steering is bv wheel the same afloat as on laud, a flat piece of wood attached to one of the front wheels acting as a rudder. An interesting discussion on the nationalisation of the public hospitals took place at the Municipal Conference recently, when the following remit was submitted by the Petone Council : " That the presettt method of levying local hodies for the upkeep of hospitals and charitable aid be discontinued, and that hospitals, etc, be nationalised, and tho whole upkoep be met out of the general revenue, the whole treatment to be free of cost to patients." Tbe remit was rejected by 29 to 25 votes. Two newsboys sat in a theatre gallery while "Hamlet" was being played. It ; was the first time they had seen a play and they were quivering with excitement. In the last scene, after Hamlet had killed Laertes and the kins, the queen had died of poison, and the *' Moody Dane " of a poisoned wound, the youuger of the lads could contain himself no longer. Turning to his chum of the streets, in rapturous tones he said : "My word, Bill, what; a time, for selling speshal hedishuus !" A correspondent of the Taumaranui Frees states that a panic was just averted at the picture theatre at Mananni on a recent Saturday night. Some braiuless larrikins- who were in tbe dress circle Bet light to a bom-bom cracker aud threw it amongst the woimn and children aud then rushed downsiairs, knocking over a lady who was standing by the door, thereby bruising all ber face. The report of the cracker in the hall was deafening, women started to scream and children t 3 cry, and but for tbe presence of mind of the operator and the musicians, who kept the pictures and the music going, a serious panic might have occurred. Passengers by Monday's midnight M-iin Trunk express bad the experience of witnessing a particularly picturesque fall of snow when between Horopiti and Raurimu. At firtt the flakes were of a light flaky nature, but when the higher level was reached the snow was very thick and lay deep on the ground. The Waiouru plains .were a magnificent spectacle—the white expanse presenting itself to tho gazo for miles and miles. The view v/as most? stiiking when cross ing tho viaduct, tha falliug snow being, ■visible for hundreds of yards descending upon the tops of the huge treps. It was a beautiful sight that attracted the attention of all the passengers.

An unusual application was made to the Kairanga County Council at its laßt meeting, when Eev Clyde- L, Carr, of Ashhurst, wrote stating ' that when negotiating the road at Stony Creek recently the flood water acros3 the road reached the cylinder of his motor cycle and cracked it, with the result that it biew off, necessitating repairs costing £6 10s 6d. The writer stated that it seemed only reasonable to 'him that the body responsible for the upkeep of the road should consider the matter of their liability to lefuiid him the amount, and he hoped for an honest consideration of the matter. The Council decided to take no action, the letter being dealt with without discussion.

New Zealanders' fondness for sport is often referred to in public speeches. On Tuesday bis Excellency the Governor, who opened the Municipal Association Conference made the following observation : «• You have much to be proud of in New Zealand, as you glance round the younger members of the community, for you see round you sturdy, bright and healthy scions of your race ; only be sure that no responsibility rests on your shoulders that while encouraging them in all their games vtnd pleasures you have neglected to instil into them the golden precept that their enjoyment will be still more glorious when they have placed it second to their duty to thtir country, town or district.

A Sumner fisheroiau his had exceptional luck during the last fortnight. On four days (the Lyttleton Times says) he. went out with crayfish pots. Ou June 'i9 he caught two sacks full. Ou June SO one and a quarter sacks, on July I two sacks, and ou July b" he brought iu two sacks, mukiug u tottl of niunty-four dozen crayfish for the week. Ou July 5 he went out early with his lines to the favourite fishing grouuds, about three

miles off tho coast. By midday he had caught notbiug, and after shifting his grouud three times he came close in shore. Here he found the end plentiful and in three quart rs of an hour he had secured six aud a half dozsu fine fhh. On Tuesday in company with two other bouts, from the aauie spot eighteen dozen coa were brought ashore; he himself caught five and a half dozen in au hour aud a half, The chief complaint amongst the fishermen is tint, though fish of all sorts are so expensive to buy, the price offered t-.ie fisherman hardly pays for transport. And yet the consumer has t-> pay a very high price indeed for fish.

Chioago has started a golf club limited to 150 members, with £'15,000 in the treasury, derived from entrance fees fixed at £BOO oaeh Within twenty minutes after the plan establishing tho most expensive fjolf club-in America had boen disoussod, the £45,000 was paid (says the Daily Tolograpu). The club opened on Juno IG, and soon afterwards there sprung mushroom like, upon a birch fatm near Port Sheridan, a palatial club house costing £20,000. Amongst the founders of tho club are several of Chicago's beef aud pork magnates and other notable millionaires. Moro than (5000 trees and au inuuv stumps have been vemcvod from tho 160-acre tract. Mr H fcj. Colt, of .England, has laid out the course, which is 6420 yards long. A player, never has to drive into tho sun, which, is a great advantage, because tho heat in Illinois diu'iug the summer is often prostrating, Tho ctub boosts having the biggest entrance foe ol any golf organisation iu I,he work}.