SETTLED ON THE SPOT.

Patea Mail, Volume XI, Issue 24, 5 June 1885, Page 2

SETTLED ON THE SPOT.

After standing in front of the store for several minutes, seemingly undecided what to do, he entered and asked for the proprietor, and then began : “ My ole woman wrs gwine ’long yere las’ night an’ fell down on your sidewalk an’ busted her elbow.” “ Ah ! Well, being 1 yon are a poor man I’ll make the charges ns light as possible I” ‘ But that hain’t de case, sah, A lawyer tells me dat yon is ’sponsible for dat slippery sidewalk, an’ dat I kin git damages.” “ Exactly, but then you don,t understand the matter. In the first place you must fee your lawyer and put up for court expenses. Then you prove that your wife was not guilty of contribntary negligence. Then you prove that your wife didn’t bust her elbow by falling down stairs. Then I appeal the case, and the higher court grants a new trial. By that time your wife and her busted elbow are dead and buried, and yon are married again, and yon offer to settle for five pounds of brown sugar. “ Fo’ de Lawd ; but has I got to wade frew all dat ?’’ “ All that and moie. The grocery business is cut so close that I shall probably be a bankrupt by April, and then what good will a judgment do you ?” “ Dat’s so—dal’s so.” “ Or the case may hang in the Supreme Court until both of us arc dead.” “ t J sop. And you would gin two pound of the brown sugar to settle the case !’’ “ Well yes.” “ Den yon may do it up, and alter this de ole woman takes de odder side of de street or we dissolve partersbip ! I ’spected ebery minit yon w&r gwine to t wist it around to levy on rry household goods, an’ if I’m two pounds of snga. ahead I want to close de case at once be fore you bring in a bill fur contributory piracy ?”