WIT AND HUMOUR.

Pahiatua Herald, Volume XII, Issue 2374, 2 June 1906, Page 8

WIT AND HUMOUR.

Teddy Saclit : “Ah, Chaw ley, where are von going in such a hurry?” Chaw lev Smith: “I’m going home for my dog. There is a man drowning in the river, Ta-ta.’ “ Sonny,” said tlie good old man,

“ Fm surprised that you should tease the cat in that way.” “Why?” replied the hoy. pausing in liis inhuman work, “do you know any better wav ?"

“ Yes,” she sneered, during one of their frequent quarrels. “ I married you for pity, and now——" “You don’t get any." he interrupted, “for all our friends lavish it on me.”

“ Sav. did you hear that Cholly Sotted had had a serious operation performed on him lately?” "M'liat was it? Appendicitis?” ‘‘No, worse than that. His rich uncle cut him out of bis will. ’

“ Why don't you give us a little Greek and Latin occasionally?” asked a country deacon of a new minister. “ M’hy. do you understand those languages?” was asked. “No. hut we pay for the best, and we ought to have it.” Miss l’rettie: “ Mr Rider is so entertaining. He seems to come in contact with so many people.” Mr M'lieeler (viciously): “Yes, indeed. You should watch him on his bicycle.” Mr Phiinnvmnn (looking up from his paper): "Another cashier gone with the deposits.” Mrs Phunnvtnan : “M'liat was the sum?” Mr Pliunnymnii: “He wasn't satisfied with some lie took everything." A shy American negro desired to marry Miss Slow man, lmt he could not pluck up courage to go and ask for tier hand. He decided to ring her up on the telephone, and this was the dialogue that followed : “Is dat you, Miss SlowmnnP” “Yes.” “T’se a special question to ask you, M iss Slowman. ” “Yus.” “Mill you marry me. Miss Slowman?" "Yus. Mho are you?”

Three ounces of cayenne pepper cleared a New York car in short older. A woman carrying parcels was holding a strap when a sudden lurch threw her against a man. One of the parcels hurst, and the pepper poured out. Tbe passengers began to sneeze. And when a breeze blew the pepper about they rushed for the open air. I lie car was completely cleared, and the woman, after a few minutes, went hack remarking: “ M'ell. I lust my pepper, hut I gut a seat.” It didn' t work. Little Freddie was playing in the garden when he happened to notice (bat the blinds were drawn in the next house. “Mother.” said Freddie, “why are the blinds down in Mrs Brown's house?" “ Only to keep the sun out,” said she. A few weeks later Freddie's mother informed him that Mrs Brown had got a son. After thinking deeply for a few minutes. Freddie said: “Seems to me. mother, it wasn't much good keeping the Minds down.”