EDITOR'S WALLET.

Otago Witness, Issue 2924, 30 March 1910, Page 88

EDITOR'S WALLET.

lii Deference to Her.

"What are you doing with that sheet of papei, Orville?" sharply asked his wife. "I am making a wish," answered Mr Meekun.' . . "A wish?" "That's so. In your presence I shall not presume tc call it a. will."

Signs of Moving.

A teacher in a slum school was calling' over the names of his scholars in order to ascertain which of them were likely to leave shortly. "Please, sii, :; said one urchin, "I think 1 shall leave soon." "Why, Tommy?" asked the teacher. "Well, sir," he said, "I think we're goin* to leave our 'ouse, 'cause mother's burued the coalhouse door an' sold the cubberd door, and farver's a choppin down the stairs,'this mornin'. We alius leave* after we've burned the stairs."

Disenchantment.

. A minister was one© preaching at a Iitl« chapel on the subject of "giving." During the- sermon his heart was rejoiced by tho fact that a raembe. of the congregationwent to the side of tne chapel and placEd a coin in the box, ar.d a little later another did the same. Surely, the minister thought, my sermons have never met with eo practical a response before. On leaving he was accosted by one of the brethr-en, who said: "I hope we didn't disturb you, sir; but ours is a penny-in-the-slot meter, and we should have been in darkness if wo hadn't attended to it."

Thanks for ail Mercies.

A famous dean was once at dinner, when just as the cloth was removed the subject of discourse happened'to be that of extraordinary mortality among lawyers. "We have lost," said a gentleman, "ira. less than six eminent barristers in a 6 marry months." "The dean, who was quite deaf, rose as his. friend finished his a-emarks, and gave his company this grace: "For this and every other mercy make as truly thankful."

How Could She Spare It ?

The woman rang the door bell and prac tically forced herself into the house when the door was opened. "We don't need anything," said the housewife. "I'm very poor," urged the woman. "We're certainly not rich," said the housewife. "If you'd only take just one," persisted: the woman. "What are you selling?" asked the housewife. "Soap," said the .voman. "We have plenty." "Five small children at home," pleaded the woman. "What!" "I've five small children at home," repeated the woman. "Five small children and you're selling soap!" exclaimed the housewife. "I don't see how you can spar© arry'."

Why Sam was Uneasy.

It was the usual order of things—local rivals, a bife crowd, arid rough play. Sam Simpson and a friend walked into the grounds just atter the play had commenced. "Foul! Foul!" That was ill that could be heard. Sam .seemed uneasy, and after about 10 minutes suddenly turned. "I can't stick this amy longer," said he, and bolted from the ground. < , "What's the matter with him?" aeked a. bystander. "Is he disgusted with the play?" "No, it isn't that," said his fvfend. "It's the people shouting 'Foul I' that's done- it. He only came out from doing a month yesterday for pinchir' a couple of chickens."

For the Unemployed.

They were true tramps, for troy had bees* trudging the country all day I" •' having covered five miles a,nd thirteen Blu« Boars. At sunset they knocked softly on the door of Mr Newed's bungalow "What do yoi want?" demanded Mr Newed, confrotate them in the hall-way. "Dinner or work''" "Both, sir" they replied wearily. "Well, eat chat!" -etuwaed the other savagely, handing out a biscuit and a pierof steak, "and vou'll have both!"