| The Reason Why.

Otago Witness, Issue 2855, 2 December 1908, Page 87

| The Reason Why.

The counsel prosecuting in a breach of promise case was youthful and fresh, and , delighted in showing himself off, but he 1 didn't know what a guy he was until it fell on him with a dull and sickening thud. The defendant had entered the witnessbox. "You cay," said the counsel, after seve1 ral impertinent questions, "that you never asked the plaintiff to be your wife?" •'Never," responded tiis witness with emphasis. "But you made love to fcer?" "Not to my knowledge.^. • "Never called her pet akmes either, 1 6uppcse?" j "No, sir." j "Now, as a matter of fact^ clidn't< you call her Lizzie after you'd been to see her only three or four tim« 3, and always after that, when you knew you should have ] I called her Miss Smith if you had not been peeking to win her- -^oung and trusting heart." "No, sir." . J The plaintiff pulled at the counsel s sleeve, but he paid no attention to her. ' "Ah, indeed !" very sarcastically. '1 I presume you never called her Lizzie in your ( life, ehV" I "Never." I Again the plaintiff caught a.t the counsel, . but he ignored her. I "Now, once more, sir, I ask you directly I to state to the court whether you did or did not call this young lady by the endearing name of Lizzio. Remember, sir, i you are on your oath." And the counsel ! puffed out his che^t, while the plaintiff made another ineffectual attempt to clutch him. The defendant smiled slightly. "I never did," he said firmly. i The counsel brought his fist down and simply glared at the defendant. "I'd like to know why you never did, | ' sir," he asked with the air of a man who knew he had ' the facts. The witness was as cool as a palm-leaf fan could make him in June as he replied with an exasperated smile: "Because that wasn't her name.' Then it was the counsel heeded the plaintiff's wild clutching and wanted to hit himself in the neck with a law book, but it was too late. Tell This to the Marines. The old sea captain, in braes buttons, sat smoking comfortably by hl3 fireside, when Jack, his 6aik>r son, burst in vipon. him. "Weather too rough," exclaimed the son; "6O we've put in for a day." "Too rough?" exclaimed Mr Tar, with visions of his own days en th« briny. "Why, sir, I was once mailing round the Cape* when a btorm came on, and it blew down, the mammas:, ar.d the mizzen-mast was swept ay.ay ; but we didn't even think of putting in!" "Well, you see," explained tha son, "this storm was so bad it blew the anchor? off the captain's buttons, took the paint off tho chip's bows, and " "Stop ! " fs-i-ed the old man. "You do me credit. Jack— >ou do me credit!" And e\en the tabby cat blushed over its sauoer.