Mark Twain's Snapper.

Otago Witness, Issue 2817, 11 March 1908, Page 86

Mark Twain's Snapper.

At an entertainment given for the benefit of the seouien on board the steamer Kaiser Wilhdm 11, on ber voyage from >iew York to Genoa, Mark Twain was called upon for an address. On being introduced, he rose, and in his pecufiar nanner and tone of voice said: "M-y friends, I see that my name is on the programme for an address. As this was done without consulting me, I shall give jou an anecdote in its place. >iow you know, there are anecdotes and anecdotes, short metre and long metre. I shall give you a long metre one with a snapper at the "It is about a Scottish-Irish minister who thought he was called to preach the Gospel. He knew that he had the gift of oratory, and he never missed an opportunity to display it. An opportunity was afforded on the occasion of a christening". There was a considerable audience, made up of relatives, friends, and neighbours of the parents. The preacher began by saying: "'We have met together, my friends, on a vcrv interesting: occasion —the christening of this little child. But I see already a look of disappointment on your fac&s. Is it because this infant is so small? We must bear in mind tlut this globe upon which

yre live is made ur> of 6mall things, infinitesiir.al objects, one" mi^ht say. Little drops of water moke the mighty ocean ; the mountains which rear their hoary heads towards heaven and arc lost in the clouds are made up of little grin:*'- of sand. "Besides, r.iy fncixU, we must take into consideration ihe possibilities in the life of ti-is little speck <"f humanity. He may become a great preacher, multitudes may be swayed by his eloquence and be brought to see end believe in the truths of the Gospel. lie may become a distinguished physician, and his fame as a healer of men may reach the uttermost parts of the earth, and his name go down to posterity as one of the great benefactors of his kind. He may become a great astronomer, and may read the beavens as an open book. He may discover new stars, and his name be coupled with those of Newton and other great discoverers. He irav become a distinguished statesman and orator, and by the strength of his intellect and eloquence he may control the destinies of nacions, and his name be engraved upon monumente erected to perpetuate hiß jnemorv by his admiring and grateful countrymen. He may become an author and & poet, and hi^ name may yet appear ainoLij those now entombed at Westminster, lie nid- become a great soldier and lead armies to battle and victory ; his prowess and valour may change the map of Europe. Metliinks I hear the plaudits of the people at the mention of his deeds and name. He may become— er—er — he might— er— ' (turning to the mother) 'What is his name?' "The mother, very much bewildered : 'What is the baby's name?* " "Yes, what is his name?' The mother: •'It's name is Mary Ann.'"