Mr Dooley Oil Ocean Travel.

Otago Witness, Issue 2805, 18 December 1907, Page 91

Mr Dooley Oil Ocean Travel.

"Well, sir," saUS Mr Dooley, "I f* t»H here new steamboat has broke 411 xfb&tOß. It come aorost th' Atlantic Ooean ik four days. Passengere that «ot «bottrd_fctJtajtofpool on Saturday were in New xork Fri» day afthernoon." "B]ft that's more thin four days," said J4r^Henne«sy. "Not be nautical time," said Mr Dooley. "Ye mustn't figure it oat th' way ye do on land. On land ye niver read that Th' Thunderbolt Limited has broken all records be thravellin' fr'm New York (Harrisbnrg) to Chicago (Fort Wayne) ik eight hours." But with a steamboat 'tis diffrent. Ye eavr a lot iv time off ayether end an' what's left is ih' v'yage. •T?i' Conyard line's gr-reat ocean greyhound or levithin iv th' seas has broken all records iv thransatlantio passages. She has thxavelledL fr'm. Liverpool (a rook so far off th' coast iv Ireland that I niver see it) to New York (Sandy Hook lightship) in four or five ' days. Britannya rules th waves. "Soi if ye'vo any f rinds inclined. to boast about makin' a record, ask thim did they swim aboord at Daunf » Bock an' swim off at,th' lightship. If they didn't, refuse to take off ye'er hat to thim. "To tell how long it takes to cross th' Atlantic, compute th' elapsed time fr'm boordin' house to boordin' Ihouse* It's fr?m a week to 10 days, depindin' on th' time ye go to bed whin ye come home. Manny a man that come over on a five-day boat has had th' diwile iv a time explainin' to his wife- what he did with th other two days. "No record iv transatlantic thravel takes ' into account th' longest, roughest, an' most dangerous part iv th' passage-, which is through th' New York custom-house.

"But 'tis wondherful, , anrvyhow. 'Tis won^herf ul that a man amid crqit th' Atlantic Ocean, annyhow, an' .'tis enough to make ye diray to think iv him crossm* it iin an aron boat that looks like a row iv office buildings.

—To Escape from Notoriety. — "Th' graxw times they muat've had. All th' tuiie they were- on th' bounding billows th' wireless tillygraft kept them in touch with home. Th' day was whin.' a m*n got on a boa€ an' wa» lost f'r a week or 16; days. Now, be JKgVttM. through th' wondher* iv. modhera mt9W» he's hardly settled down to a cigar 'mi*- a' game iv pinochle with another fugitive that he's just, met whin. a. me^feng^er boy conies down' th' deck, on 1 his. Jwoyote ian' hands him a, tillygtam with glad' tidings fr'm home. Th' house is burned, th' pneriff has levied on his furniture, or th' family are dowh th' whoopin' ooogh. ' "On th' other hand, we know all about what they are doin' on boord th' fevithin. Juet as ye'er wife is thinkin' iv ye bein' wrecked on & desert lßland or fldatm* xna a raft an' sigdkllin' with a red flaflnel undherflhirt, she picks «P th* pa-*per an 'readsr"The" life i^tV ship is-Alalachi, Hinnissy, a wealthy l*chek»r fr'zn Titteburg. His attinfc'oaaa to a pretty widow fr'm Omaha are m^rf; mArked. They make a handsome poAmbfr f 'W€ll, v *%ir, they nruet've had fU' gloryous time^ on bpord this new boat. In th' old days all -ye knew about a ship was that she left Liverpool an' landed in New York afther a most disthresin' voyage. Now, be hivens, ye r-read iv th' gay life aboord her fr'm day to day

" "Th' tie in the billyard tournymint was played off last night. Th restaurants are crowded nightly, .an' great throngs are seen in Main sthreet, undher th' brilliant illuminations. Th' public gardens are m full bloom, an' are much frequented -be childer rollin' hoops an' sailin' boats in th' artificial lake. Th' autymobill speedway gives. gr-reat satisfaction. Th' ppenin' day iv th' steeplechase races was a success. Th' ilivator in th' left annex fell 13 storeys

Thursday, but no wan was injured. Th' bmkeragfe house iv Conem an? Comp'ny wint into th' bands nr a receiver to-day. Th' failure was due to th' refusal iv th' Modes to "lend army more money on hat pools. Th' steeple iv th' Sweqfenborjan ohvroh is undher repair. Th' Daily Fog SBs^obbacput in. three new colour presses a«^'w«&r.lieiijjik; grintin' a coloured supplemenfr SSnd6^4i«!fc?; An' so it goes. It ain't a boat afr alfe It's a city.

—But Still a. Boat.—. . "At laate I thought it wa*, but Hannigan, that come over in it, soft iffc m* boat. " |Ye must've had a grawl^ani*,' says I, 'in this flewttin' palace, atm ye'er fill iv sumchuse food an' gazin' at tib beaujfcifully jooled' ladies,' says T. 'Ah,' says I, 'th' wondhers iv science that cud put together a conthrivance th' like iv that,' says

"It's. a boat,' says he. That's th' best I can : say about it,' says he. " T>id ye not glide noiselessly through th' wather?' says X M4 I did not,' says he. 'Diwle th' 1 glide. We bumped along- pretty fast, an' th' injines made noises like injines, an' the ship creaked Joke army ship.' " 'An' wasn't th' food fine?'

"It depinde3 on th' , weather. There was plenty iv it on- good days an' too much iv it on other days.' " — F. P. Dunne, in the Boston Globe."