TUAKAU TIM'S RAGGING.

Otago Witness, Issue 2805, 18 December 1907, Page 90

TUAKAU TIM'S RAGGING.

Bt Snifter.

*siow, blokes, remember what yer goiter So, for if one of yer makes/a mess of it the whole show's goosed; an' don't let him git his 'ands on yer, fer he's sure to (turn sour, an' 'c's as strong as a bull." Thus spoke Moley, the "ringer" of the running shed. • "Strong! Goblimme," chimed in Lofty, with a spit, "didn't vre 'aye 'im pumpin' water into 607's boiler with the reversin' lever. Ho was going for half an hour, and never took a tumble that we was

only kiddin'." The dim light from the smoky, spluttering headlamps, of the" dozen cleaners conspiring in B 830's cab added a mysterious clement to the meeting. The serious looks on their faces showed diat they had in band some devilment out of the common. For a long time past it had been the custom to "break in" the new arrivals on the Saturday night, and they were quite unprepared for the reception. Tuakau Tim was a difficult propositijn, and they knew it. A big, strapping, rawboned youth, 'fresh from the country pnd the cow byre, and quite unused to jokes that go to make an engine-cleaner's life endurable. Be had drifted into the shed earlier in the week, and the cleaners got as much of his past history as he chose to tell them. He knew all about engines, so he informed them. His old man kept a dairyfarm and owned the creamery at luakau, end Jim looked after the engine. His fathed wanted him to become a locomotive engineer ; hence his starting' in the shed. "Did yer 'aye ter 'aye a stificat to fire and drive the enjjne?" asked Lofty. "A stificat ! Nope ; we had a poipe •from the boiler ter the engine and a belt trom the engine to the shafting and on jto the separator. No, it 'adn't got no , etiftcat. Donald Macintosh backed his milk waggon into the engine and broke the fly-wheel, to I put on the wheel of our pld tip dray. It fiys off sometimes, so the old man says he will soon get a n':w engine. I'epose that he will get a stificat on that. Yaas, I know a bit about engines, and I know a -bit about tni» enetl. , jtoae& fellows is always tagging the new obaps, tout flon't youee try it on me. I'll tolani a star in the ginger of the first man , Ihftt tries, an' he'll think ouV big black

stallion has kicked 'im." The boys heard il all without a smile, and quite satisfied that he might be a good dany- farmer, but was no Baldwin^ expert, prepared to deal with him accordingly. John L. Toole at his best could) not hold a Candle to the cleaners ; their ingenuity in Working out. practical jokes ' wae simply amazing, and on this particular Saturday night they intended to excel. Tuakau Tim was working mates w;th Moley Keen on 609, off the early expi-esa, and having finished the boiler and rods prepared to get into the pit and clean underneath. 'Hey, Tim, go and ask Euarty for our *tores, and shake v 'er leg ; we're all be-

hifcd." ! "Right O, mate!" and away he went. : Euarty seemed to be in no hurry to jrneasure out the stores, despite Tim's roaring, but seemed to unnecessarily rattle the oil-drums, whilst afaint baling gounded in the distance. Whe* Tim did at last get to his engine with the kerosene and waste Moley severely censured him in hi* cutting vernacular. ' Tim descended into th* inky blackness of <he pit. His own head lamp and another dozen yards away alone lighted up the gloom. The oil and grease soon began to shift off the motion with his vigorous cleaning. ■ "BiflfP* Half » pound of dirty wet , waste fondly encircled 1 Tim's neck. With $ row like an Alderney bull he made for the light, hoping to find the culprit by its fid. *"Swistt!" and at the, same instant the frashout hose was played . on him from j (he pit-end, and hastened his rush to the light ani — vengeance. j "Bash!" and with a well-aimed blow | between-the eyes Tim bowled his assailant over, and stepped out to follow it up. "Oooh i What a sikly feeling came oyet Tim as something akin to Bill Squires bupyued him in the soar plexus and tushed (him about with the dash of New Zealand's famous "All Black" forwards, heartless cleaners jeered at him from between the wheels of the engines, and wer«> baa-ing him unmercifully. Judge of his ftstonianment when he found his opponent to be a — goat. -*l?umine with rage and dripping with water, Tim, on looking round, found Moley putting the * finishing touches on tho cylinder-end, and seemingly quite unconscious of the assistant's plight. With the exception of the hissing noises from the few engines still in steam the shed iras unusually dark and quiet. Tim explained the circumstances of the outrage to Moley, and asked his advice. ""Go un'^ report thim, Tim. You'll fina pen and paper on the signing-on deak. Go and do it right away ; that will settle *«m. I see a letter down there for you too. You'd better see what it's about." Tim had no sooner disappeared than the fhfid was alive with cleaners, chuckling •with glee over the success of their )oke and over the downfall of one who had dared to dispute their right to play them. Timothy Mulo»h«y, Engine Cleanei. For your information ana immediate attention. Bngineman Snifter reports that 8607's smoke box and funnel-hare not been cleaned to hi» satisfaction, thereby affecting the steaming of the engine. By order,

Running Shed Foreman. So tan the note which Tim found on the desk. Atfer perusal all thought of reporting was ditven out of his head, ©ripping wiih w&iex and &» black as the ccc of 6pad«, h« looked a veJ/ pitiable

object as he' handed the note to Moley with the remark : • ' "Here, mate, I got a blister. Tell us what it means." "Means! Why, it means that if 607 goes out dirty again you go cut too. Git it seen to right away. Look in my locker for a hand broom, then git- inside the smoky and clean every bit of soot out of it and the funnel." Nudging Lofty, who bad just come on the scene, Moley gave Tim a few more instructions as he disappeared into the smoke-box.

Unless one has been in the smoke-box of a large locomotive one can hardly how disagreeable is the job which "Tim had undertaken. He was soon in the thick of it, twirling the .broom around the sides of the funnel, and the soot pouring down on top of him, when a rush of water came down the funnel, and steam came out of the exhaust pipe, and enveloped Tim, giving him the impression that the boiler had burst. , Wallowing in the smoke, soot, and steam, he loudly invoked the aid of the saints to relieve his distress:

Willing -bands dragged Tim out of the smoke-bos, and the noise brought the charge-cleaner on the scene. After hearing Tim's version of the incident the charge-cleaner informed him that he would have to report himself to the shed foreman the fii«,t thine in the morning for tampering- with the boiler and careless workmanship. The now almost unrecognisable and demented Tim thereupon went down on his knees and swore by all the saints in the calendar — and a lot more that are not there — that if the charge-cleaner would only withhold his report he, Tim, would for ever after remember him in bis prayers and be his humbfe slave. This wae just what the boys wanted. Had it not been, for the charge-cleaner's tact Tim would nave reported the lot of them, wben they would bare received * short notioe, and it would have been <goodbye to the dreams of 'Moley, Lofty, and Co., and the mental pictures of themselves in the cab of the fast express. It was bad enough, they Jcnew, to steal O'Grady's goat, but writing false reports on the condition of an engine and putting a- cleaner into a smoke-box and then opening the exhaust of the engine while still in steam and pouring a Ducket of water down the funnel on top of him would have surely meant instant dis tyiiarrai • Tim is well broken In now, and a charge-cleaner. His zeal gives promise, ol a bright future on the footplate.

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