Wanted Some Spectacles.

Otago Witness, Issue 2804, 11 December 1907, Page 91

Wanted Some Spectacles.

A woman who looked as if she had been -«. long time in the. vale of tears went into an establishment the other day and said, "I want a pair of specs." , - "This way," said the obliging shopman with his hair parted in the middle and ie. led her up a flight of stain into a long «»m,_ where a space was reserved" for opti- ' <j»l purposes. A . small, nervous man- .at once attended her. "Sit here," he said, placing a chair for her, and hanging up an ABC card in front of hex. "Fix you. ■eyes on that madam." "I ain't going to have my piotur' taken," said the woman tartly. , v "Certainly not, madam; you wish to Tenew your eyesight- Just tell me what you see on that card— 9, 7, 10., Do you follow me?" "Jist let me have my umbrella, and I'll f oiler ye. I didnlt come, here to be made, fun of. I ken read and write as well as you ken, and count, too. I want a pair -of specs.". , - "Exactly; but I should recommend' eye- ■ -.glasses with -such a nose as yours,' madam." "What's the matter my nose— feh? Tf it ain't much of a nose, you ain't going .to poke fun at it." "It is a beautiful nose," said the optician firmly, "and would a handsome pair of eyeglasses. Will you kindly look at this circle of lines?' Do they appear to be the same eize?" '"Pear to be? They are all of a size. Ho nonsense, young man." "> • » "Certainly not, madam. ■ If- the circles -appear to be alLjof one size, your eyes axe not deformed."' ' ■ • ' "Deformed' l Goodness gracious! , Who -said my eyes were ■ deformed 1 ? 'If ever I "heard the like." > „ "You see, , madam, we are compelled to -test the optio nerve, and determine if the •person has „ presbyopia ".

"No, sir, I'm a Baptist. And I won't stay here to be insulted "

"You misunderstand me, madam. If you are afflicted with hypodrinyopia in either eye " "Look here, young man," said' the woman fiercely, "I dare say you think you're mighty clever, tut I vsni a. pair of specs. I ain't as young as I used to be, or I'd^-; — " Oh, yes," interrupted the rash optician. "I see you are getting old, and " Then the feathers flew. He never finished the sentence, and it was some time before anything in. -the room could be discerned except an old umbrella and a -pair of human arms revolving in the air like a couple of windmill sails. When the woman came out of the shop she was trying to straighten out the ribs of her gingham and muttering to herself: "Old, indeed! I've ruined an eight-shilling umbrella, but I haven't lived all these years to be insulted by such a puppy as that. Old! The lmperent scoundrel !"