A SELECTION OF " HOWLERS."

Otago Witness, Issue 2761, 13 February 1907, Page 66

A SELECTION OF " HOWLERS."

Mr H. Driver, bookseller, George street, and agent for the University Tutorial Press, has favoured me with a copy of the December issue of the University Correspondent, the organ of the University Correspondence College. The December issue islooked for because it contains a selection of " Howlers " sent in for the annual prize competition. This year the prize goes to the Bey. Jerome Pollard-Urquhart, S. Benedict s Abbey, Port Augustus, Scotland, 6O I should think that his are genuine at any rate. For my own part, however, as 1 have said on previous occasions, I can quite believe them all to be actual answers, for nothing is impossible in an examination paper.

History, Geography., Grammar, and Literature. 1 " Cabal " is a short name for the English' Prime Minister: cc stands for Campbell. ba for Bannerman, and the l at the end means that he is a Liberal. 2. The name of Csesar's wife was Osesarea ; she was above suspicion. 3. Tolstoi was the leader of the Passive Resisters ; he had his goods stolen rather than be vaccinated. . „ 4 The chief means of communication between India and Afghanistan is a submarine ° a 5a 5 Martin Luther was the founder of Protestantism. In order to spread this religion he founded a " Society of Jesus, and ( its members went about chalking up Ao Popery" on the doors of houses. 6 Paraphrase "Oh pardon me thou bleeding' piece of earth. . . ."— " Excuse me, ye sanguinary clod." , 7. The Star Chamber was a room decorated with stars in which tortures were carried out. From this we have the modern expression " to see stars "—i.e., to be in pain. 8. Charon was a man who fried soles over the sticks. [Ferried souls over the Styx.] 9 "Oh! what a fall was there, my countrymen," etc., comes from " Paradise Lost. It was said by Satan to hi 9 followers after recovery from their fall into the burning lake. 10. Simon de Montfort formed what was known as the Mad Parliament— it was something the same as is at the present day. 11. An abstract noun is one that cannot be felt, heard, seen, touched, or smelt. 12 Cromwell raised a famous body of soldiers known to history as "The Ironclads." [Ironsides.] 13 The Cinque Ports are artillery men found in India. [Cinque confused with Sikhs.] 14 The Tories objected to the passing of the Eeform Bill because they thought that the House of Commons would soon be filled with republicans and sinners. 15 Cigarnet Wolseley was the first man to introduce tobacco into England. [Sir Garnet.] 16. Fitzjames appeared before the Lady of the Lake with a horn tied round his waist and a falchion by his side. Ellen at once saw that he was a gentleman. 17. The tundras are treeless forests m JNortn America. 18. Lord Surrey completely out-man-oi-warred James IV at Flodden. [Outmanoeuvred.] 19. Th© Black Prince was the name of a Zulu chief at Earl's Court Exhibition. 20. A strong verb is one that changes its vowels eternally ([internally]. 21- The snow line crosses from the NoTth Po'e to tlie South Pole, and where it crosses the Alps and the Himalayas it is many thousand feet high in the air. 22. The Transvaal is situated on a plateau 4000 miles high, and prodeces large crops of aerials [cereals]. 23. Correct the sentence : "It was m« that broke the window." Answer : "It wasn't me that broke the window." 21. Henry 111 dissolved the Provisions of Oxford in the solution he received from the Pope. [By means of the absolution? Even then, not much sense.] 25. Mortmain tried to stop dead men from leaving their lands to churches. 26. Socrates 3ied from a. dose of wedlock [hemlock].