CLUB PAPERS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2734, 8 August 1906, Page 74

CLUB PAPERS.

BOYS.

Bx One or the Pcbakanui Trio.

(Written after fifteen years' experience.)

Boys are very much ia the way. They walk about and think us girls are of no account. If they get a bit of a nut stick in their hand and a button-hole, they think they are lords of the land. I like to see a boy in his Sunday clothes, for he puts on manners and a "walk" with his beat suit on.

Boys are very inqui&ilive. They hate to be kept in the dark about anything, but must needs poke theii noses into everybody else's business. They never speak properly, and fly into a black fury if told so in public. Redheaded boys are always bad-tempered. They can't bear to be spoken to about anything, and always snap back a hasty answer if checked for wrong-doing. Boys are extremely lazy. Leastways country boys are, and I have good reason for saying that "towny boys" are decidedly worse. They like play much better than work, and do everything they are asked to with a grudge and a complaint of some description. Boys are not the least bit intelligent, and need to be toid the same thing more than a dozen times before it can find an entrance, no matter how small into their brains. They are very &&j2ms — so *£i££t*re>n.i. from girls. Boys are the most stupidly ridiculous beings ever created, and oan never give a sensible answer to a question unless you get a> 10 horse-powei either to drag it out or to force it in. They give the most ridiculous answers to the most simple questions you ever heard, and they get so angry if their ignorance is i augend at. To exemplify matters : one day a certain lad of my acquaintance was asked, "Can you iell me the scientific name for 'sparrow'?" AIJ at once the face of the child beamed with a happy smile of certain victory, and with the air of a professor or a learned scientist he exclaimed, "Spug!" Amid the hearty laughter of his mates the discomfited lad did a hasty exit. Upon another occasion « 14-year-old boy was asked to explain "Blest isle with matchless beauty crowned." After a few moments of hesitation and apparently deep thought, he said, "Crowned without lighting matches." Quite a genius, wasn't he?

Although boys are very disagreeable, and pretend to be very superior to us girls, they know who to turn to when they need a. button sewn on, or wish to have lneuded » rent which they do not want mother to see-. Then, with a very respectful air, they fly to their sisters, with, "Please, would you oblige," etc Boys need to be waited on hand and foot. If transported to some secluded spot where they haven't their sister forevei at their beck and call, they very often find themselves at a loss to know how to look after their own affairs, let alone anybody else's. Boy^ are extremely impatient, and come town on us like a ton weight if we happen to keep them waiting for anything they specially want — for instance, their dinner Al=o. the majority of boys are disobliging, and when asked to do anything which doesn't exactly suit them, they bustle round at a great lale, shouting meanwhile, "I've got my own woik to see after; you mu&fc shift for yoiueelf if you pleate.'' ■ Boyg are not nearly so smart as girls, but borne of them are very artful.

— Impatience of Boys.—

"Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can ; 'Tis seldom found in women, but never in s mau (or. bo}}." Tbf.t'e verj true, isn't it, girli?.

Self-oreservation.—

"Which?— Father (wrathfuily) : "Tommy, have you gone out fishing since I forbade you to do so?" Tornany (shaking in his shoes}: "Pa, which will you punish me foremost — telling the truth or tslling a lie?" Father: "John, why did you tell your mother you saw toe come out of a- hotel?" Johnnie: "Well pa, you see, 'twas like this: ma was goin' k> give me a licking, and I knew she'd b* so wild at you that she'd forget me." Well, I think tMs is all I have to say about boys at present. Next time I write I'll see if I can find any good points in their character.