DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2734, 8 August 1906, Page 73

DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

"One man may speak the universal mind.'

Quago's last appa-irance for an indefinite period owing to ill-health.

"I f you have teairs to shed, prepare to shed them now'"

Yoise No. 1: Hdw many limes have I tried to keep order to-night? Voice No. 2: I know. Voiso No. 1- Well, enumerate them. Voice Nc. 2 : 1, 2 3,~ 4, 6, 6. (Collapse t.f'No. 1.)

D.L.F. BAY ITEMS.

D.L.F. Exhibition Corner at winter show, established by Harry. Regular patronisers— Kdievale, Larkspur, Hazelnut, Wilful Lassie, Woodland Lassie, L<-ster, Harry, and Joe. I lotice on glannng through the cataloguethat my friend, of the "cheery smile" ("only lut on to ■ disguise my r*al misery," he explained in a recant debate) is very fond of the words "alleged" and "allegedly." ' Have you been studying law lately, Tomahawk, that ycu arc ro non-commital?

The wording of No. 233 exhibit will doubtless amuse many. The cribbage board is v«ry prettily and 1 elaborately carved -with ihe uaiiws of the various opposing generals, ai.d the engagements; but it is rather farfetched to say that the "Tommy-artist was in desperation for a game of crib." Had he been in that precarious condition I fancy ha would have preferred to adopt a- less elaborately carved board. , An error _has crept into the catalogue inconnection with Jim Brown's exhibit. No. = 158 should read "Pair hand-knitted sox" — a correction which please note,, L.F/*

Some nursery^rhymes -evidently need revision for application to D.L.F.-dom. For instance I submit the following:

BRENDA'S LITTLE LAMB.

Brenda bad a little lamb, And It was fed on hay; She had the wool cut off its back, \ And she showed it in the bay. [One of Brenda's exhibits, "a wonderfully long staple of wool."]

THOSE CHEESES. (Not Jerome K. Jerome's.) Scene: Winter show — cutting up of monster cheese. Dramatis persona?: Laddie, Tomahawk, and Harry (all eyeing that cheese with hungry eyes).

Laddie keeps his eyes riveted upon the slices; at least he sees a rich-looking slice. Up goes his hand with his "shullin'," but just as the cheese touches his fingers, his hand 1 is shot upwards, and a woman, evidently possessing more impetuosity than manners, snatches the slice,- and vanishes quickly from sight, and (from Laddie's flashing <>yes. "I hope she suffers from indigestion," Laddie exclaims, his face, which had been -wreathed in expectation, changing to one of the deepest dejection. „ , Slice after slice is cut, wrapped up, and delivered into one of the enthusiastic hands.

"Here's luck for certain," says Laddie, c.nd, watching his chance, up goes his hand; he grasps the slice, and the trio retreat to a corner to investigate.

That cheese suffered all the agonies of disr section. The thin strips into which it was r cut could scarcely have harboured a pin, far less a threepenny bit. A sixpence, then a threepenny bit rewarded Laddie'e search, and, pocketing the "siller," he went in quest of another slice. In the meantime "The Little Hatohet" had bought a slice, but, upon dissecting it. had found — nothing. Gloomily thrusting his hands into his pockets, he eyed Laddie purchasing another slice and finding therein another sixpenny piece, wßereat Laddie waxed joyous. "What became of all the cheese?" did you ask. Well, for the answer, I have to refer you to Lady Dundas, Edievale. Hazelnut, Harry, and all the others, too numerous to mention, who participated in Lac]die's historical cheese! SCISSORS. (From recent debates, etc ) "Life is made up of little failures and little successes," say 3 Awkward Ned. "Oh, Hugo and Marie Corelli — they are miserab'e authors !" Thus holds forth Emerald. Thus A. IC. : "If ycu are happy when you are really miserable, and you arc happy when you are happy, then you must bo always happy. Have I not always maintained that '< for his logic that wcrthy would make a gcod 1 lawyer ? |

"All of us must enjoy happy moments at some times" says Darky, [po we' — Quago.] "For my part, I do not sea why women should not have a vote. They will do no more harm than the men. although they might be a little more inclined to let their feelings run ay.ay with them." — H.O.ii.

Ernersi d • "One hundred years ago women were not educated ' (Tomahawk: "Gcod job. too'") linddie: "The maiority of women have absolutely no mind of their own in rejrard to political questions and to the leading questions of the day." "Women have to obey the laws as well as men. Why should women not have a voice 111 the making of these laws " — T. D. A. T. D. A. : "Girls in the club here are quite as qualified to expiess an opinion as any of the boy ».

iKiuera'd in coi.fi rmation: "I quite pgree with yon T. D. A.")

Lsdche ""vVrnien .ire manifestly inferior, csrta.n'y. to ■ <■ -not men's equal*. If >ou have ever t" ' to .'t?tisiics — medical ■=tati'--tici par I'",,1 '",, you wi 1 lia'-e noncc-i! that a woumi- !j...u :<■ -ma!.f>r than a nihn's. Klia k*>c 1..-., flic baaie cauacitie- us men havp:

and that is one of the many reasons why she. should not have a franchise." '-8.0.8. has expressed his vie-rs on this - question of women's franchise. There may come a time when a lot will depend upon how some woman or girl makes up her mind in regard to him."— Laddie (in a prophetic toni). "*■ * j Tangles : "How many of our most prominent politicians owe their positions to their wives?" ON DIT. — That comrade Stan has been transferred to Oamaru. Let us have a paper occasionally, I chum 1 - — That Tomahawk now suffers from a new ' disease, technically termed "pie-Marguerite." j Those objects of mystery have an irresistible attraction for him nowadays. — That Darky will by # , this time be once more at home. I hope you enjoyed your stay among. us in Dunedin, comrade. — Good-bye. QUAGO. [I deeply regret to learn that Quago's indifferent health continues, and I am sure the L.F. all over the land will join with m» j in. offering him sincere sympathy. His in- , definite tat -unavoidable retirement for Hi-© time being will indeed be a loss to the page, and I hop^ and trust a relaxation of the strenuous life he has so long indulged in will soon tell a tale in a complete restoration to iis old-time vigour. Farewell, .Quago, but, I trust, not good-bye. Need I say that when, you are well and fit once again a hearty wel..come awaits your reappearance in the .page? — DOT.] t \