A Question of Minor Morals.

Otago Witness, Issue 2714, 21 March 1906, Page 66

A Question of Minor Morals.

The following article, written in a homely strain, is from the pen of "Gretchen," the weekly contributor of household matters to the Scottish Farmer :—: — - Some time ago a correspondent from Ireland posed me with, a difficult question — Is it right or wrong for men to smoke? This column is not, of course, the proper medium for a discussion of this matter, even were it profitable. But out of it arise numerous other questions which are emphatically within a woman's province. We have to face the fact that nearly every man smokes, and the sole business that concerns us is our own attitude towards the habit. - And it is quite certain that no man will smoke less to piease us. There is a stage of courtship at which some girls, intoxicated with their own power, will endeavour to make their admirers "give up a bad habit." If he is of soft nature, he may fo_£ g,

short time be exalted above himself, heroically miserable. I have known men who gave up drinking, but never one who gavj> up smoking, permanently. One man of my acquaintance nearly succeeded in his old age, but on his deathbed returned to the comfort of pipe and cigar. It was a humorously pathetic sight. I do not believe that the girl who makes such a demand of her lover is moved by any high motive, although she may persuade herself that she is. She is simply testing her power, and human beings rarely make a wise use of power. It is odd, is it not, that when we see a man greatly under our influence we should think more of the display of our own might than of the real wisdom of the course we urge him to? Granted, then, that men will smoke, and smoke very slavishly too, whether we like it or not, we must put an amiable face on the matter, and learn to love the scent of tobacco. And that is exactly the attitude of most women. They tike it. and they say they like it. Many of us have been used to it from childhood, and feel that there is an odd deficiency about the man who does not smoke. One girl I know argues that men who do not smoke are unsociable and bad-tempered. She is repeating the arguments of her father and brothers. The very same thing used to be said of the man who did not drink. UndOubtebHy, if five men puff and talk, while a sixth owns to no liking for the weed, the five have a slight feeling of resentful superiority towards the ascetic sixth. And we all know " the woman who would rather her husband gave up anything but his pipe, "because it always puts him in such a good humour. There lies the secret of our gracious acceptance of it. The man while he is smoking is at "peace with himself, and, therefore, approachable. His very silence speaks fragrantly. If he does not listen very attentively, the pipe saves him from all appearance of indifference or moroseness. How is it, then, that there are women who forbid smoking in the house ? I knew one husband who always had to retire to the washhouse to indulge in a draw. His wife worshipped her house, and could not endure the smell of tobacco in her rooms. That is a real difficulty in most houses. Few, indeed, would object to smoking in the kitchen, but just as few would tolerate the odour of stale tobacco in their cherished drawing rooms. On one occasion, during a visit to a friend, I was astonished to see four or five male guests, with the host, "light up" in the drawing room when the evening was half over. Afterwards I expressed surprise that my hostess would permit this. "Well," she answered, "I don't like it at all ; but it has become the custom in our little circle, and I cannot make myself disagreeable by objecting." There's the rub. We none of us like to make ourselves disagreeable. But certain places ought to be forbidden to the smoker. Again, a man might be allowed a quiet little' smoke in a room of his own house, where half a dozen smokers would be objectionable. There ought to be respectful consideration on both sides. I am always amused when a man asks if a "lady objects." She is not likely to destroy, by objecting, her reputation for amiability with even a passing stranger. Repeatedly in a non-smoking compartment I have weakly said that I did not "object"' when some seedy-looking individual produced a dirty pipe from his coat pocket. Nor did I ever come across a woman who objected ; but I o.nce heard of a man who did. He said he had chosen a non-smoking compartment in order to avoid smoking ; therefore, he objected. Didn't his fellow travellers give him a pretty character afterwards ' My informant waved his pipe scornfully as he was telling me the story, and 1 dared not tell him that I thought the smokers a little too presuming that time. At this moment there comes into my mind a recollection of one day that I was the sole occupant of a third-class compartment when it was rushed by a company of footballers, all of them working men in dress and manners. Almost before they were seated one of them brought his pipe out of his pocket, and asked if I objected. I hastily said that I did not; but another cried out, "Do you think that she would say she objected even if she did? If you don't put that pipe in your pocket, Bill, I'll chuck it out of the** window." Then he gave me a reassuring nod and smile, as much as to say. "You're all right with me !" In spite of my fear of Saturday afternoon footballers, it is evident that there are gentlemen among them. As a matter of fact. I did not object at all to one pipe. Like a great many more people, I love riding through the streets of ,a city, especially of London, on the outside of a tramcar. The one objection is that, unless one be on the front seat, there is a danger of a spark of cigar-ash being blown into the eye. I innocently remarked one day to a smoker, in the course of an argument, that men ought not to smoke in places where it is a certain annoyance to others, and instanced the ciorar (for a cigar is worse than a pipe in the open air) on the top of 'bus and tram. He completely squashed me by retorting that "the outside seats are for smokers ; those who olfject to smoking go inside." Men must smoke. If not permitted to smoke inside a tram, they are bound to do it on the top. We must bow before the imperious appetite. The only circumstances in which it can become a woman to inquire whether smoking is right or wrong is when she has a young boy under her care. Even those who ire most in praise of it think it is not good for the young. And to every woman of correct mind it is something of a shock to her to hear for the first time that her son is indulging more or less secretly. And the father who has j smoked all his life does not encourage his young sons i.i tho h;>bif>. He doe 3 not teach them the way. He suddenly discovers they have found it out. I know one father who will not smoke before his son; but that is a rare form of purism. For a mother to take up a pronounced attitude against smoking is almost sure to do harm. The son will indulge secretly ; then openly and defiantly i for. can hfi noi

see that most of the good men Tie- knows love their smoke, and are none the worse of it? So far as women are concerned, one of the most agreeable accompaniments of smoking is the fragrance of good tobacco. No doubt there is something in its associations too. A woman whose home has been bereft of all its male members keeps a box of cigars in a drawing room cabinet. To her male friends and relatives who call she produces the box, asking them each to smoke one for her pleasure. "It leaves behind it such a delicious smell of MAN !"