MULTUM IN PARVO,

Otago Witness, Issue 2691, 11 October 1905, Page 73

MULTUM IN PARVO,

FROM D.LP.-DOM,

Last Tuesday evening we had another very good — albeit humorous — debate, Brother Bill, asistcd by foar members, holding forth tint sivage life was better than civilised, whilst C. C. M. end ei^Ht other members maiu(iu'ncd that the civilised life was the better Tho judges — Emerald, Lulu, and Texas Jack — gave z< somewhat hazy decision in favour of the sivagt- side.

I notice that T. D. A. spoke of dancing as an "artifi *ia.l" joy. Gould anyone tell ma wha' kind of "joy ' this is — I've never run up against it?

Several .iienibprs complained about tho haziness of the decision last Tuesday. Wouldn't it be better to give a plain out-and-out decision, ye ju'lgfs?

Jeannie Deans (upon Ned's interrupting * speaker) : "You're no 1 , amongst ihe school children; now, Ned."

Much .surprise was evoked when Tomahawk declared that he would eat anything if he wer-o hard up foa a me*!.

Etiquette for club members: —

When you enter the clubroom, don't walk in sedately; but rush m as if fired from the mouth of a gun, then turn and glare angrily at the door. This looks well.

Whon reading a paper look as if it had been Lard work preparing that paper — the chairman and members appreciate youx remarks a.l The mere.

Whenever our V.-P. looks at you, feebly mutter "Pardon!" This is sure to cause a Luigh.

When you arrive at the Witness Office don't en any account enter the clubroom for at least half-a-n-hour — to do this would be the heighi of ignorance and presumption.

On no account shou d a member keep silent whilst another member is reading a paper— tit do this would show a. want of appreciation which would be noticed by all present.

Neve; lose sight of the fact that a surprise party is of more impoitance Ihan a club meatiiig.

Never Jo anything original — Ned has a weaV heart, and. the shock might prove fatal.

Whenever s papsr which you do not undeistand comes in, applaud loudly, then turn and discuss the supposed merits and demerits of it with your neighbour. I don't know why you should do this, but it's the fashion.

Don't take any notice of the president when he bangs his hammer on the table; we like as much noisa as possible.

Don't read out a paper when you are handed one to read. -You might be doing too good a service. {Who does the c*p fit 9]

Don't look at the president when he is twisting his hirsute appendage. He might- blush.

Don't sit down and listen attentively to the papers being read cut to the meeting; but talk, laugh, and annoy the speakers as much as possible.

Don't wait till a member has finished speaking, but interject as much as possible: you may raise a laugh if you do. Don't let the electric lights be alight during the meeting, but turn them out.

Don't let the active workers help the club along. Bore them as much as possible — it 's SO inspiring.

Don't walk on the floor — use the seats, They're only there for show.

When judge don't "judge" the arguments in the debate, but decide in favour of your friends' side — it's fair easier.

When Tomahawk glances your way, say 'Staggerer'" He likes it.

Never wa.lk up the stairs quietly — always run up, and make as much noise as possible ; the. same going down. The Times office staff don't mind.

Don't stay in the clubroom; go in and oat all night, and stand talking in the passage. Take special notice of this hint, certain members.

Always say "Thanks" when anyone pushes past you to get to the door, without observing tho U3ual comtesy, because it's SO

When the President asfs if you have a paper always say, "I was up town on Saturday night, and didn't have time." He doesn't mind. When you see the President taking notes always get hold of them if you can, and cry cut, "Talcing notes for Quago." This is a small D.L.F.'s idea of the kangaroo: "The kangaroo is a. quadruped; but too of his feet is only hands. He is closely relaited to the flea family, an' jumps like him and nas Iho same kind of resemblance. ]fe is an Australian by birth, and he has a watchpocket to cany his children in. There are three or more^ kinds of kangaroo, but they are mostly mail and femail, an' live on grass, cabbage, f.n' curren' buns. The kangaroo's tale is his chief support; it is thick at ono end; it is good to jump with; and the kangaroo w'en ii is cut off don't know his way home and has to walk on his han's. The kangaroo is good for niakin' soup an' boot laces, and puttin' in zoos, an' sometimes he is presented to the roil family to represent Australia."

'Tis said that three of our baud got stranded out at Mosgiel recently. They had to put in three hours and a-half waiting for a train to leave for Dunedin. During this time three weary figures could be seen wandering up and down the main street looking for sonieoue who might have "the photograph of a sausage, without a signature," with him. For further information interview the aforesaid memfegre yourself*

Last Tuesday Hubert gave us some splendid illustrations of "The art of drinking ink. ' Last Thursday some 30 little folk had a, s-uiprite party at Lady Psyche's home. 'Tis suid that they ha-4 a good tune.

I hear thut a certain prominent member docs like skating, and may be seen do-vn r.t tho rink occasionally, '-cutting eights" and that soit of thing. At a recent S. P. one of our paily was mboduced s.s 'Olr-er-Pa«s-thc-Mustprd." Wha'. a fn.my name, by Gecigc. Ned: "We argue it, ye don't merely s?y it." A certain section of riu clubbites has been termed "Ths Impaitial L.F." Wishing success lo the first picnic of the season, T. I. C.