BEHIND THE ADVERTISING COUNTER.

Otago Witness, Issue 2690, 4 October 1905, Page 80

BEHIND THE ADVERTISING COUNTER.

By C. E. S

If one of my acquaintances were to ask me how best he could study human nature in its various aspects, I should unhesitatingly tell him to travel — to" travel in any way he liked : on foot, on bicycle, tricycle, horseback, by train, boat, or balloon —no matter how, so long as he travelled sufficiently, and met men of all conditions, climes, and countries ; but if he asked me the best manner of becoming acquainted with the broad, general principles of human nature, I should ask him to do nothing more heroic than to become an advertising clerk. For as he stood behind the counter" its surface polished with a hard ink-and-gum combination, advertisers of every kind and condition would pass before him, making known a ' hundred-and-one different wants in a hundred-and-one different ways. And since in his desires a man shows the bent of his mind, and in the gratification of these desires he shows the direction of his ideals, the advertising c lerk would be in a position to hazard an estimate of both the mind and heart of the advertising public, and therefore of the public at large.

Advertisers may be divided into two classes—regular and casual. The regular advertiser is, from the nature of his business, compelled to solicit public patronage day by day ; consequently he is compelled to visit the newspaper office "day after day, and in most cases at a particular hour. A very welcome caller, too, is he. His visits mark off the day into certain well-defined periods, as he is often more liable than the office clock. The clerk knows exactly when he will appear and what he will do. Moreover, the clerk expects him, and is disappointed if he does not come. The casual advertiser, on the other hand, represents that section of th.c public t\afc advertises only when special circumstances arise. He lends variety to the advertising counter, and if the clerk is able to gain a fuller appreciation of the whims of the regular caller he certainly finds variety pud ■ greater range of character displayed by ths casual advertiser.

And now glance at one or two of tlie advertisers as they come in ;ir<l go out. Ah ! here is the first ; a regular advertiser he is, and a welcome one. He is a jolly, rubicund old gentleman, who doubtless holds fast England's tradition of roast beef ; at anyrate, no one ever accused him of being a vegetarian. Whom does one think of as his historical prototype? Oh ! merry old Chaucer, undoubtedly. Note the twinkle in his eye and the smile playing about the corners of his mouth. Wait but a moment/ and you will hear the merry jest fall readily from his lips. It is the weather to-day. He pokes kindiv fun at the climatic conditions^ laughs

merrily at his own humour the while, and is gone, leaving the atmospheie full 10 degrees warmer than he found it — not that he, has said anything very humorous : the same remark from another would excite no meriiment ; his manner and speech give point to an otherwise rial joke.

As he leav.:s the office, a lady whose business energy and enterjjrise are beyond all question enters with a hurried step. She nearly collides vs ith the previous visitor in her eager haste ; but she reaches the counter safely, and proves herself a most difficult customer to deal w ith. She wishes to establish a special advertising rate for herself, and with a vigorous flow of language she seeks to sweep away the ' clerk's objections to such a course. She uses every subterfuge known to the facile feminine mind to gain a slight advantage. She tells how well this, that, and the other journal treated her — leaving, of couise, .the innuendo that the newspaper company with which she is now dealing is exacting and niggardly to a degree At last she is satisfied — or, if not satisfied, sli.3 despairs of obtaining any further conces- \ sion, — so she speeds from the office as though anxious to overtake the lost , moments.

His next customer is going to afford the ! clerk a pretty little study in emotion. A young man brings in a marriage notice, i which he carefully explains relates in no . way to himself, but to a friend of his. J Too readily proffered explanation ! He is asked to authenticate, the notice by writing his name on the buck, and an undeniable rubescence mantles his cliee;: as h,° inecubes his name as identical with the name of the friend who has just been married. After him comes a lady who has reached that time of life when age is a rather delicate question. She looks shamefacedly on the ground as she hands in an :;dvertisemtent — "Young lady "n ishos io correspond with refined si-entkimm ; ■sipw matrimony." It w<mld be unjust to Mame li^r without taking into account the desolate existence which life possibly holds < out for her ; but certainly, to borrow a word from tne tailor, she runs grave risk , of yetting a misfit.

The next advertiser is a lady, still young. She has a notice — "Comfortable rooms to Ist." She is dressed in a widow's deep mourning, and about her is an air i of refinement and gentility ; but li er face is troubled, and expresses the existence of a great sorrow in her life. The advertising clerk is loth to decrease by one her 1 ! store of shillings ; but the' business world i is harsh, and, moreover, he is ashamed to insult her with unasked charity. Poor lady ! may the world treat her better thpn ! it treats the majority in her circumstances. ' Next, the one on. the heels of the other, j come a birth and then a death notice. ! Truly, life and death are wondrous i.<\irly i related ! Time will breed indifference ; ' custom, contempt ; but th-e clerk may be • pardoned if at first he feels a little emotion. !

Addled advertisements abound, but we ! leave them for the delectation of the picture post-card collector. One example will suffice : "Madam/? Blank wis-hes to , announce to her clients and friends that she will be seen for the last time tomorrow." Madame (she was a clairvoyant) i did not contemplate suicide : she was j simply Leaving for another town. Often ' people visit newspaper offices in an excited ' condition and talk delightful nonsense. ' Thus an old lady, rushing in : "I've just lost a valuable brooch, and I want you to put it in the paper to-morrow." Often a clerk is asked unexpected questions. Being in a newspaper office, he is expected to add to encyclopsedic knowledge a perfect intimacy with current events ; therefore such questions as "What's the latest j cricket news?" "Who won the football • match?" But the gentleman who wanted to know where most cheaply h& could , obtain board and lodgings remained unsatisfied. I

An advertising clerk who has any regard at all for thelanguage^ oiten finds' himself ruefully wondering what a row of half a dozen nouns means : verbs, adjectives, prepositions, articles are all sacrificed to ruthless economy. Why does not someone start a paper that will not allow this , mutilation? Just consider what we are coming to. Australia is guilty not only I of ellipsis, but also of the contraction of , words almost beyond recognition. What, for instance, does this advertisement, taken from a Sydney morning paper, j mean? — "Wanted, Gen. Serv., ad. fam., nr. city, 14s; Gen. Serv., station, 15s; j Laund. H'maid, yg., 18s; H. P., 12s;, Laundress, exp., 18s," etc. In this case brevity is the soul of wickedness.