NUMBER 97.

Otago Witness, Issue 2686, 6 September 1905, Page 90

NUMBER 97.

(By JRichaed Dahk.)

Christine laid down the letter she had been reading and emitted a heartrending sigh. Her husband at the opposite end of the tabla glanced up from his newspaper. "What is the matter?"' "Oh, Charlie !" she gasped. "I hope nothing's happened to your mother," he said, anxiously.

"No," she faltered; "it's almost worse than that."

"Surely it can't be the butchei"'s account again?" "It's Aunt Sophia," said Christine; "shp's coming to-day by the 5.13." This was serious news. Still Christine's emotion appeared to be slightly inexplicable.

''And her first question will be," she continued, "'Have you done your spring cleaning V " Then Charles understood. For a full minute the unhappy pair sat regarding each other in horror-struck silence.

"Something must be done," said Charles at length. "Couldn't we have a man in this morning to lay down some fresh linoleum on the first landing? Fresh linoleum is always an indication of a recent spring cleaning." . Christine shook her head gloomily. "We might have the bath re-enamelled too," ho suggested. .' "It would be quite useless,"' she replied. "Aunt Sophia would see through it at once."

Charles sat and pondered. Suddenly an inspiration appeared to seize him. "By Jove! Why not?" he ejaculated. "Christine, how long does your aunt intend to stay with us?" "She only wants us to put her up for the night. She's going on to Manchester to-morrow morning."

. "Thank goodness! Now listen to me. Aunt Sophia has not paid us a visit since we've been married, and she knows nothing of this neighbourhood. ,We have not begun our spring cleaning, but the Johnsons, who have been away for a fortnight and are returning on Thursday, finished theirs a month ago. Very well. The inference is obvious. We have just time to receive Aunt Sophia at the Johnsons' house, Number 97, before they come back."

"But the house is shut up. Besides, what will the Johnsons say?"

"Johnson is a friend of mine, and a sensible man. When I explain to him that Aunt Sophia is the one person in the world whom we dare not risk offending and that she has a mania for spring cleaning, he will agree with me that we pursued the only possible course. In the meantime, all we have to do" is to transfer the servants and our wedding presents to Number 97, light the fires, and takf the covers off the furniture. So now I will telephone for a. removal van^ and you shall order dinner."' "But I feel quite certain that the number on the address at the head of Chrisline's last letter was 27," said Aunt iSophia after dinner that night.

"Oddly enough," said Charles, "I have often noticed that Christine makes hsr ' nines ' remarkably like ' twos. ' It is a bad habit. By the way, it was lucky I happened to be passing the gate of number 27 when you drove up, otherwise you might never have found us." (> I suppose you finished your spring cleaning some time ago," observed the old lady, turning somewhat abruptly to Christine.

"The house has had a thorough turnout," she replied a little timidly. A gleam of suspicion was apparent in Aunt Sophia's eye.

"Yes ; but I mean a regular spring cleaning. Of course, you have had the painters and whitewashers in?" Christine appeared to hesitate for a moment, and Charles perceived that if matters were left to his wife, her natural diffidence would probably involve them in disaster. He proceeded to fling himself into the breach.

"I think we almost claim," he began modestly, "that our spring cleaning this year constitutes a record in the annals of modern housekeeping. Every stick of furniture in the place has been shifted from its original position. All the carpets upstairs and downstairs have been beaten, the floors re-varnished, and the walls re-papsred. The scullery has bean fitted with new taps, and w© have installed an entirely novel kitchen range. Of course, there" were sacrifices to bo made. For two nights during the crisis Christine was obliged to sleep at an hotel, while I myself reposed at home on four doormats. Our meals, too, were irregular, and were mostly consumed in the garden. But we comforted ourselves with the reflection that we were doing our duty, and maintaining the family traditions."

He paused and sipped his coffee complacently. For an impromptu effort it had been very creditable. 'You have done well," said Aunt Sophia. "To-morrow Christine shall take me all over the hoxise. I really think I shall have to extend my visit till the .end of the week; that is, if you can put up with nie> for so long." j Charles laid down his cup with a trembling hand. "We shall be delighted," he gasped, not daring to look at his wife. "I daresay my friends in Manchester will forgive my postponing my visit to them for a few days £ " (continued Auat Sophia*

,i^» mi—.ii iln.i -«• "I daresay tliey will," he answered fS a toue of miserable conviction. Soon afterwards the old lady pleaded fatigue, and retired to rest, Christine ac-companj-mg her upstairs. "Oh, Charlie, what shall I do?" wailed the latter, when she rejoined him a quarter of an hour later. "She means to stay for at least a week, and the Johnsons return in two days' time. But even if they weren't coining back, I'm sure I could never stand the strain for a whui.3 week. It would be impossible to go on inventing details to account for ono's pcssession of a multitude of things that belong to somebody else. She asked mo on the landing where we had picked up the mantel ornaments in the dining room. I couldn't recollect for the moment vhat they were, and as I was feeling' altogether rather confused, I said we had bought) them last summer in Geneva. iShe said, ' How curious ! One doesn't usually buy Chelsea china in Geneva.' it was lucky she didn't ask me anything else." Charles sat with his head between iiis hands, thinking hard.

"Why is it," lie groaned, "that I possess no relation on my side of th© family? Wo might have concosted a wire from some perishing grand jiarent — ' Come at once, bringing Avife. Imperative ; be"stow parting blessing.' Common decency would then have compelled your aunt to proceed on her journey in the morning.'"' A tear stole down Christine's cheek, and the pair brooded in silence. Thm for the second time that day Charlie was visited by an idea. "There's only one way," he exclaimed; "at 7 o'clock to-morrow morning you must send for Adams." "How can he help us?" "I'm not- sure that he will. But he Is our last hope. If he fails us, we are lost." At 7 o'clock on the following morning there was a subdued commotion in Number 97: Bells rang, shadowy forms flitted hither and thither — in short, something out of the ordinary was evidently in progress. At 7.30 Aunt Sophia's door opened, and she appeared on the threshold in an irritable frame of mind. Christine was standing at the top of the stairs, conversing in low tones with a young man of professional aspect, clad in an immaculate frock coat. "What is th 9 matter?' 1 demanded the old lady. "The house seems to be turning into a pandemonium." "Charlie has been taken seriously ill/ said Christine. "This is Dr Adams. I sent for him half an hour ago." The man in the frock-coat bowed. Then, turning again to Christine, he resumed their conversation. "The symptoms certainly point to it. The first "thing to be done is to get the patient removed to a hospital. There must be something defective in the sanitary arrangements '' "Sanitary arrangements !" ejaculated Aunt iSoplria. "You don't mean, to say " "Typhoid has been extremely rife this winter," said th© doctor gravely. Aunt Sophia uttered an exclamation o£ dismay, and fled into her i*oom. A quarter of an hour later Christine was assisting her into a four-wheeler. "My poor child, if I thought I could be of the slightest tise to you I would stay. But I should only be in the way." "Don't think of it, Aunt Sophia," replied her niece. "We can only hope that it will prove a, mild attack. And now you mustn't wait another moment. It is so infectious ! "

She shut the cab door, and directed the driver to proceed to the station. At last Aunt Sophia was safely on her way to Manchester.

'"There is one thing to remember," observed Charles at breakfast, a little later. "We shall Have to quit Number 27 in reality before she comes again. But that won't be for some time. We are safe for a year at least. If we move into a new house next June, we shall just be enabled to avoid the annual spring cleaa«> ing."— M.A.P.