DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2675, 21 June 1905, Page 80

DUNEDIN CLUB NOTES AND CRITICISMS.

" One man may speak the universal mind." | —It is the height of ambition of every \ aspiring young lawyer to become a judge, and ' when such a position *is offered him hs is all j alacrity to take it. For though judges have a , great amount of responsibility, they have on ' the whole an easy time. So, as a rule, in our ' club. But otvr friend Vance seems rather ' "backward in coming foiward" as a judge, j The unanimous suggestion wrs that he shoiild i take his seat as a judge in the midst of • beauty ; but though he knew» that the" com- j bmution seated at the foot of the table would , make a good Faith, Hope, and Charity, he j txirncd bpsJiful all of a sudden. And yet ' at picnics, in the games of kiss-m-the-ring and ' cushion dance, he ever takes a prominent part, i Perhaps the reason lay in his having forgotten his customaiy buttonhole of roses that ' evening. However, "'honour to whom honour ' is due," and Vance actsd the rols of a judge ' to everybody's satisfaction — even Quago's. | —It struck me forcibly when the "open j meeting" papers were baing read that a few 1 of oiu- club members have need of more prac- ' tice at reading at sight. One or two of the , papers were almost robbed of their interest | through the faulty reading of the members ! uho wore detailed to read them. I sincerely trust the members referred to will do their best to impiovo their elocutionary powers, as < in the readme; of papers =o much depends upon elocution. Still, there are some splendid | readers in the club, and we gratefully accord . them every thanks for their willing assistance ] at open meetings. — Scene The Club. Consultation Hours: Tuesday, 7 to 9 p m. — — Mademoiselle Whyte Taince, piofessoress of palmi&tiy, phrenology, etc., etc., in foreground studying a certain member's hand; crowd around, as watchful and eager ?s a crowd cf young people mound a weighing machine when a young lady weighs herself. Mdlle. W. T. (reading hand)' "Your hand shows very fc«v crosses, you will have few disappointments in life. Your line of life is exceedingly long; you will likely live to bo an old mar o£ SO. — ' (Smiles, and incredulous exclamation.) Your line of health— well, it might be better de-

fined, but still it is very satisfactoiy.— (Be jabbers.) Your line of wealth is cut right in half — a bad sign. This line here is well marJced, and shows love for opposite tex — (Grins, blushes, expostulations, etc) This h.-:o here running right across ' (Fall of chairman's hammer and abrupt termination of besno. Fee, sixpenny smile, please.) — Inquiries were niadp at a club's meeting where 1 got the word "feotch'd" whc.i anting that paragraph about Brother Bill. Allow me to refer all inquirers to that magnificent tragedy of Shakespeare's, "Macbeth," Act vi, scene 2, line 13. — The visits of Alys to the club are hko angels' visits — few and far between. Yet she is welcome whenever she can come. She reminds us of the dear old days of ths Duke's visit, when the D.L.F. badge created many a bond of friendship, pieserved even to this day. — All in the club are aware that in the cyea of o\ir former vice-president Mosgiel is the prettiest little township on the face of this earth ; but evan so he cannot cover the intervening distanoe in less than an hour and a-half on his path racer. _ I now hear it bruited that one day he actually scorched all the way from Lookout Point, climbing up every hill but the Saddle, which is so opposed to his principles that I now place it on record. Andl then to crown all he was offeree! the unique chance of a spin from Mosgiel to Outram in 20 minutes, bufc the offer was declined with, thanks. Ah, stiffness, stiffness, what a lot thou hast to answer for! — I wonder why it is that members fairly revel in a simple "A B C debate, such as "Is Dancing Wrong?" "Is Smoking injurkms toHealth?" etc.; yet when a debate comes round that requires a little thought and preparation their voices are nowhere to be heard. They evidently do not recognise that the more difficult the subject for debate the more good ifc will do members to exercise their faculties and ioin in. — Should girl members be allowed to wear theatre hats in the club room? This debatable question greatly agitated the mind of Scobie iit a club meeting, when he, poor fellow, had the misfortune to be stationed bahind something which closely resembled an umbrella trimru.od. My iDersonal experience points to the fact that the nrettiest of our band like to hide thair charni3 under a> bushel — of headgear, and this is the only consolation I can offer my poor club mate. On dit: — — That "Go Hon," "Didn't You Knew,'* "Uno," if you put the accent on certain words, would maka anybody in Mosgiel smile — even Hubert. — That we shall have to engage Troilus to hold aloft the standard of our club. — That Scobie never tires of informing us that he has a brother named Bill. It is evident at picnics and socials that he has moresisters than brothers, but he never acknowledges it. — That we should cease saying "Johnny with his camera," and say "Jimmy with his camera.'' 1.C., said the blind man, as he tripped over the bridge at "Okamau." — That oui club's George Washington. (Lester) felt himself slighted when Edievale asked in her paper, "How many here to-night can say that he has naver told an untruth?" and, pointing to himself, replied, "I." A »ood memory is aye a graun' possession, Lester ! — That B. Bill was advised by his friends ona evening to stiike a niatch while tho iron was hot and the fira near, but he declined. What next, I wonder? — That Nipper's highest ambition is to be chief "chucker out" of the club, which responsible position, we are sure, he would fill with credit. He is more formidable than his nameimplies. — That "speak of angels, and you are sure to hear the rustle of their win^s," was truelast open msptinsr wh«=n C. C. M. entered the club room' Smile, *ulease! — That Areta Eas, like her comrades, dropped the "clroi~-han'-dowr" stage, and now adopts the "up-haiv-up" 6tage. — That detectives never confess themselves to b? o i the soot when they are not: neither should Letter in vegprd to Ouago's identity. — That Texas Jack "was" rather flatterintr ho a youns: lady member when he declared that her face wa.s too hard. — (Hear, hear.) — That Lester was anxious to know one evening if Qusigo wfg T>ayfnef attention to hi"? or Her iiaper instepd of taking notes of th? movement- of others. Can anyone present that -evening oblige with the answer? QUAGO.