PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2674, 14 June 1905, Page 5

PASSING NOTES.

(From SBftmriay"* ©aJly Tiiaes.')

Acoor3ing to llie -veteran jo-unialist Mr Frederick Greenwood tlie terms of settlement between Japan and Russia, -when the tim* comes, will "concern all the greater nations of the earth," wherefore ""they must Jiare their pait in appointing them." Neither of the combatants is to be at liberty to prescribe a peace to ite own liting. Such a peace would be no peace but a sword. And this view, Mr Greenwood's view, is also, he holds, the European view and the view thai will be enforced. Two months ago, when this tone was possible, the Baltic Fleet was still a fleet in being, and Togo's chanc© of wiping it out looked no better than a toss-up. Japan's command of the sea, and with that the whole issue of the war, had yet to be determined; these things ■were on the knees of the gods. Since then, however, events have eventuated in such fashion that any pretension on the pait of Europe to control the settlement looks ridiculous. Which of the Powers, or what combination of Powers, is in case to take Japan by the throat? And what would Britain be doing meanwhile? Is Britain to etand by and see her ally gaTotied, as she was by Russia, Germany, and France at the close of her war with China? Japan will dictate her own terms of peace, I fancy, and nobody ■will venture to gainsay her. If Russia should haggle too long, there are arguments still in reserve. Means will be found to quicken her. A bigger Sedan is at this moment preparing in Manchuria.

" Tho Eight Hon. the Premier, who has jusfc completed & laborious but most sucoe3sful tour oi the southern electorates. . . ." (Northern Paper). ErDinent Stmtesman, ruminating in afierdinner comfo-fc, unbvrttoned, and digesting 1-eacefuliy:— Eum-i ha— that job's jobbed! But never again, not m O'tsugo— net a winter enmpaign — thanks, no, not for I>ick ! I've done it once, at the call of duty;— let's see, what does the poet say ?—? — " He always voted at his party's call And never thought of thinkiDg of himself at all-" That's m«l Them's my principles, — always vaa. That's why I went smith on MasseyS track&, in wiivtor weather, — to sa.ve tho coun<tay. " And never thought of thinking of himself at Beautiful lines, so true,— w oncler wko -vvro^o 'em. Poetry does elevate a man, I've always said. Nw there's Maasey, and Allen, and Du'thie, and Herdm.an, and all that ciowd, they'd turn me out of hou=e and home as f-oon as look at me. Those fellows 'd get on to the Government benches next v.eek it they could. Talk of selfishness! Not a parties ot shamein the whole lc l -.—perfectly scancUous. -bui 1 think I've put a spoke iv their wheel down couth! These Otago people, though, oh dear, T/hp.t a. set of misbelievißg Thomases! I don't

suppose there's one in fifty of them believes I've really got a surplus. No, they don't; — most unreasonable. Now, I ask anybody, Why shouldn't I have a surplus? What's to hinder me? Don't I keep the accounts 9 Ah, this unbelief! — most ungratefvil, and most aggravating. Of course I've promised this and that, light and left, as my duty was, with s>n election con-ing on. The end justifies the means, as we learned in the Catechism ; nothing clearer than that, I hope. But these canine Scots are. ready to believe that the other side would give them, just a-s much, perhaps more ; so my best ace is trumped! We l !, when all's done, there's the Standing Commissionership, thanks be. I said I wouldn't take it, a.nd £ won't ; but I didn't say it mightn't be forced

iipon me Good-bye Otago, — ta-ta! Don't expect nio back again perilling my neck over youf recks and ridges, and my digestion at your prohibition banquets, — :iot in a hurry! If I know anything of my own heart, my name's Walker and my address the Hotel Cecil! (Drops off into an uneasy slumber).

Dear " Civis," — How exquisitely funny and intense' y interesting are your weekly attacks on the prohibitionists! Inasmuch, however, 96 these attacks are beginning to pall on account of their frequency, could you not with advantage poke the Trade up a little ? Is there really nothing in tho doings of Bung out of which to manufacture a note? Or, is it a fact, as some say, that when you are hard up for a note you.go^for the unfortunate Prohibit'cm; kt? Or, worse still, that you and the' Eev. W. Thomson are in 'the sa-me boat — i.e., both working in the interests of the, Trade, and both doing that work for a consideration? Now, dear " Civis," pray write and deny ihee-e allegations of the irresponsible " man in the street." — Your.3 truly, Chtjjipkin. Then by way, of supplement and as a sop to Oerberus : I am aware that editors only publish what they like — which is undoubtedly right; but I know that the Times is eminently fair in its dealings to all and just to both sides. This ftict encourages me to write. The same fact might have encouraged him to avoid foolish and pointless insinuations. But we are to remember that " Chumpkin " must be nearly allied to " bumpkin," and that " bumpkin " connotes thickheadedness. He talks of my "weekly attacks on the prohibitionists." Why didn't he say my weak attacks? If ot that I, personally, tnink them weak ; tiat a chumpkin might. Missing this chance he blunders into erroneous statistics, after the manner of his kind — the " weekly attacks " of Civis on prohibitionists. As a matter of fact, I avoid a prohibitionist as I would any other deadly bore. The only justification for noticing him at all is that presently he will vote at the polls, and, it may be, will outvote the rest of us. Anything is .possible, John Knox would say, under a " monstrous regiment of women." I am beginning to think that the way to get rid of the prohibitionist is to vote with him, and so bring about that reductio ad absurdum which must result in State control.

Since, however, the dreary-weary subject of prohibition has been dragged in unadvisedly by one of its devotees, I permit myself a few remarks. Here is an extract from the Daily Times report of a prohibition lecture by the Rev. Mr Trestrail :

Tho Bible did not prohibit slavery, and therefore if Mr Thomson's reasoning were corlect wo would be compelled to advocate slavery. — (Applause.) He (Mr Trestrail) went on to refer to St. Paul's writings to show that St. Paul evidently thought slavery was not wrong.

That St. Paul ''thought slavery was not wrong "' is more than Mr Trestrail knows, 1 fancy. It is certain that St. Paul made no attempt to abolish elavery ; that is another thing. The conditions were beyond his control. But St. Paul did attempt to abolish drunkenness. Will Mr Trestrail kindly take note of this distinction V What St. Paul may have thought about slavery is neither here nor there ; but we know what he thought about drunkenness, and we know that he attempted to abolish that vice. How? Anything in the nature of prohibition? Touch not, taste not, handle not? For this, the conditions were entirely within his control — he might have enforced a " touch not, taste not, handle not " rule throughout all the- little societies that accepted his authority. When Mi- Trestrail has noticed that this we.sn't the way of it at all, perhaps he will kindly saj' for what resson he supposes his oivn wisdom on a point of ethics superior to St. Paul's. I sincerely advise the advocates of temperance by prohibition to cease bringing St. Paul and the Christian Bible into their arguments. Let them frankly declare fer Mahomet and the Koran.

Dear " Civis," — Will you kindly decide for us whether the following is correct English? " Ladies and gentlemen, everyone here can help if they will." The grammars tell us that " eveayono " is singular. Tha.t being so, " they " seems to be wrong. If they is wrong, what ought we to say? There are various ways : — .TjJveryone c?n help if he will. Everyone can help if she -will. Everyone can help if he or she will. Everyone can lielp if she or he will.

My wife prefers " she or he," because it hprmonises best with "ladies and gentlemen." J arguo that " he " is sufficient, aaid can be understood to include " she," because, according to the Latin grammar, "-the masculine gender is raore worthy than the feminine. ' t'ho replies, with some apparent jiistice, that the Lfitin grammar was written by pagans who lived before thn age of chivalry, and anyway, it is not a question of Latin, but of English. Therefore being unsure of our ground, apply to you, as to an ultimate court of appeal. — I am, cix- , A He. The curate who dealt with a similar difficult}- infoimed his hearers that " man"" embraces "■woman." Grammatically the curate Mas light. So the sentence in question above should run, Everyone can help if he will. Yet the translators of the English Bible preferred the plural : " Let eacli esteem other better than themselves"; "If an ox gcro a man or a woman so that they die." In the latter example the plural seems unavoidable \ it is unnecessary in the

other, and ugly to boot. But uglier fa is the "he or she," "his or her," form: — "Let every one of you do as he or she purposeth in his or her heart." The public speaker whose conscience for accuracy is of this degree of peraickettine?s merits atoning.

A country doctor sends me two choice examples of Baboo English quoted in a recent number of the Biitish Medical Journal. They are letters received by tho lady at the head of the Allahabad Hospital for Women :

Dear She, — My wife has returned fiom your hospital cured. Provided males are allowed sit your bungalow I would like to do yon the honour of presenting myself there this afternoon, but I will not try Jto repay you — vengeance belongeth unto God. — Yours noticeably, . • That is one ; and the other i= like unto it:

Dear and Fair Madame.— l have much pleasure to inform you that my dearly unfortunate wife will no longer be under your kind treatment. She having left this world for tha other on the night of 27th ulto. For your help in this matter I shall ever leaiain grateful.— Yours reverently. . My correspondent remarks that the merit of- Baboo • English is generally its unconscious humour. That is so ; and the same remark "would hold of examination ■howlers. Thus from " Schoolroom Humour" by Dr Macnamara r M.P. :

I A. teacher asked a pupil to define •' etc.," and the answer was, " It is a sign used to mak& yen believe you- know more than you do." • "Why did David prefer to be a doorkeeper in the Houae of tho Lord?" " Because he could walk about outside while the sermon was being preached!" j The latter of these two is about as good ]as any I have seen. Another correspondent offers me Irish bulls from recent House of Commons debates. I select I two ; — the first not bad : " Sir, arising oufc !of an answer that was not given. . • ." But the other is better. AMr O'Mara on the Irish benches had somehow voted in the wrong lobby : ' "It occurred in this way, sorr," he said in a confidential tone.

The Chairman of Committees was not concerned with how it occurred. Mr O'Mara must .proceed in the formal way by notice to rectify ■ hia mistake.

But Mr O'Mara. really wanted to let the vorld know how it happened-, and in a subscouent speech he managed to unbuiden his mind. " I am one of those studious peopla who like to read," he said ; " and I was reading tho Army Aot so intently that I didn't notica the gentlemen in front of me wero not the gentlemen behinc! me." - ' Finally I acknowledge with thanks - a Ghristchurch story which, I suppose, might be fathered on Bishop Julius :

At a meeting of the London Committee el the Mcla»esia-n~ -Mission-, 4wo or th*eo ?«t*irea admirals being present, several clergy, and Bishop Julius from Christchurch, New Zea»I'and. a plan was submitted for removing * debt on the new mission yacht, the " Southern. Cross," by meaais of a sinking fund. Whereupon Bishop Julius said that he regretted he must oppose the motion. The captain's name was Sinker; he had married a Miss Leak; a,nd if they now put a sinking fund on the ship, they would not find a sailor who •'-- "1 go to sea in her. Since freakish destiny had already played these pleasant tricks— sending a boy named Sinker to follow the sea, and engaging: his affections to a young woman named Leak— the joke was right into the Bishop's hands. Civis-

On Saturday the Premier cabled the colony's birthday congratulations to H.R.H. the Prince of "Wales, and on Sunday he re- - ceived a reply, signed " George," expressing sincerest thanks.

A email meeting of the Otago Central Railway League Executive Committee was held on Monday to arrange preliminaries in connection with the annual meeting. A. letter was received from the president of the Maniototo Agricultural and Pastoral Association regretting that the association, could not forward an exhibit for the winter show this year, but he etated tbo mr,ttsr would be brought before next meeting with a view to arrangements for next year. The secretary to the Alexandra branch of tne league wrote stating that a commitUe had bee-n appointed to canvass the district with a view to securing an exhibit for the w.-iter show. In a letter dated June 1 the secretary to the Alexandra branch stated that the rock cuttings on Tucker Hill had been commenced and were apparently fully manned. Between Tucker Hill and the* nursery good progress was being mads with the earth formation, and on Galloway satisfactory work was being accomplished with a plough and scoop, and the earth formation was being built up at the rate of two chains per day. The rock cuttings below the Ma-nuherrkia bridge second crossing were ateo fully manned. Owing to piles not coming to hand quickly, pile-driving had been delayed at the bridge at the 6econd crossing. The formation between Omakan and Chatto Crock was completed, and platelaying might be commenced at any ti»i«. From the present satisfactory progress oil the Chatto Creek-Alexandra _ section one could but infer that tte!ay in opening the line to Alexandra would not be caused by the non-completion of the earth and .-ock formations. It was clear that unless the bridge at the third crossing and the viaduct at the llanorburn were speedily gone on with vexatious delay would result. Th© correspondence was received, and the chairman was instructed to consult with the Mayor and call the animal meeting, if poosiblc, iv winter sh.w week.

Mr James Turner, nurseryman, of Georga I street, was attacked by two men about I midnight on Saturday in George street, between Frederick aad Albany streets,, an'l was neaily strangled, and robbed of £2. H« called loudly for the police, and lis assailants made off up t'n© zigzag- in Albany^ 1 street to Queen street, And thus escaped-

The majority of the building companies \n Wellington, lollowing the example of j )he bank?, have reduced tli^ir ia{.eo £oe

Mrs HariiiOn Lee, speaking at Ekctahuna 01 c evning, stated that j, num ht, 1 to ho nioic respectable to hold d pabuel'-i'si